Carry Me Home Tonight

The first show’s today. And I believe I forgot to mention that we’re on Warped Tour right now. So the heat is going to be high and A/C on the bus will be cranked. Yes, vampires can overheat. And it sucks, no pun intended.

I was sprawled out in the middle of the back, dying from the heat and we had only done sound check. It was also very early in the day, but we’re in the middle of the western deserts. So it gets hot fast. I was also barely wearing anything, just my cutoff jeans that went to just before my knees, and my Nikes. Poor Kenzie was in her bikini top and a pair of light grey daisy dukes with flip flops on her feet. Her bright red hair was curling from the heat and tied up into a messy bun on top of her head. It’s way more dangerous for her to be in the heat since vampire blood does not heal heat exhaustion.

“Ugh,” I groaned, “Why couldn’t this tour be in the middle of winter? I would feel way more comfortable in the snow than this heat.”

“I agree,” Kenzie sighed as she fanned herself, “I feel like my blood is boiling in that heat.”

“Be happy you’re not a vampire right now,” I told her, “You would be feeling ten times worse.”

“I want the heat to go away,” Kenzie begged as she gazed out the window towards the clouds, “Please rain soon. We need a break from the heat.”

But alas, our prayers were not answered. The heat kept going, getting even hotter as the day went on. We were only given a break by the evening chill that fell over the venue. And the band was so lucky to be playing when the sun was down. We actually got wear shirts instead of sweating like crazy and trying play our set.
---
After our set was over, everyone got to eat. I made Kenzie a couple hot dogs while us vampires had raw steaks. Raw meat still had the blood in the tissue, which made it okay for us to eat if we had to be places where we couldn’t hunt like normal.

“Alex,” Kenzie was leaning against me while we all ate, “I want to talk to you in our bunk.”

“Okay,” I replied after swallowing my bite of steak.

Kenzie got up first and led the way to our bunk. She sat down by our pillows and I sat across from her. I was curious as to what she needed from me in our bunk. Maybe it was to have us start having sex. I mean I care enough to make her first time be on the bus, so I was going to turn her down out of being considerate of her. That and the bunks aren’t exactly private.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m ready to try,” she held my hands as she traced my tattoos.

“Kenzie,” I lifted her chin up so she’d look up at me, “We can try. When we get to Vegas, we’re going to be in a hotel room a couple days. That’s when we’ll try, okay.”

“Okay,” she smiled and kissed me.

I liked the way Kenzie kissed me. Given I didn’t kiss her back ever, but they were still nice. Her soft lips felt like they belonged against mine. Her breathe was so sweet like the scent of her blood. And how she tasted, oh she was perfect. She was perfect for me. I didn’t want her to become a vampire. I never want her to become a vampire. It’ll change everything about her. She’ll become a killer. I like her the way she is now, the sweet and caring Mackenzie Tyler.

Like.

I just showed a preference. Maybe the time I’ve spent with Kenzie is making me change. I’ve missed her so much. I’ve wanted her close to me for the longest. Now I have her. With my emotions off, I was cruel to her. But when I tasted her blood, I was hooked. She was intoxicating. She was addictive.

And she’s mine.

So this was what it felt like to be in a relationship. The feeling of being wanted while also wanting the other person. Given I can’t feel the love yet, but I know it’s there, deep inside me.
I feel the fire when she touches me. I feel the chill of ice when she traces my tattoos. I have the constant urge to just hold her tightly. I feel drawn in when I look into her doe eyes. I smile when she smiles, and I think her smile just lights up the room.

But I didn’t feel the spark. I knew it had to do with her eyes. There was a light in her eyes when she looks at me. She smiles at the mentioning of my name or when she hears my voice. But I don’t have those feelings.

I want my heart to “race” when she takes my hand. I want my eyes to light up when she looks at me. I want to smile, truly smile, at the sound of her name or her voice. I want that so bad. I feel like I won’t last much longer without it.

I want to feel love. I need to feel it. It has been off for far too long.

Notes

Queue the feels. Maybe?