I'm Not A Savior

I woke up to the sun shining over my eye lids. I opened them slowly, finding that I was way late to school. I panicked and shot up out of my bed. I ran to my closet to grab some clothes and took a quick shower. Once I was ready to head out the door, I opened to find Alex standing there.

“Your uncle called you in sick,” he told me, “And I took a sick day to make sure you’re okay.”

“How did he manage that,” I asked referring to calling me in sick.

“I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse,” he replied with a smirk, “I compelled him to call you in sick and leave you alone so you could rest.”

“So long as you didn’t screw with his head I can live with that,” I noticed he was rocking on his feet, “Why aren’t you in my house?”

“I have to be invited in,” he answered, “A part of being a vampire is that I need an invitation into any house a living human lives in. I wasn’t going to compel your uncle to let me in, so I decided to wait until you were awake to have you invite me. That is if you want me in.”

“Of course I want you in,” I told him, “Please come in, Alex.”

Alex took a nice step into the house and wrapped his arms around me. This was the first hug I ever got from him. He was so gentle, careful not to crush me since he had the strength to. He smelled amazing. His cologne was a cinnamon-y scent that wasn’t overpowering.

“This is nice,” I sighed happily into his chest as I wrapped my arms around his torso, “I could get used to having my teacher call in sick to be with me.”

“Tay’s out ‘sick,’” Alex did air quotes with his long, thin, calloused fingers, “She’s looking at some grimoires from other witch families to find the spell we need.”

“I hope she finds it,” I told him, “I’m afraid I’ll have another attack.”

“I’m scared too,” he sighed heavily and led me to the couch, “I’m afraid that if she manifests in you, she’ll try to get revenge on me for killing her.”

“She was terrified,” I told him, “I saw it in her eyes that she was scared of you. I think her fear is rubbing off on me. I don’t know. But all I know is that I trust you and I care about you. I don’t want her to sway my feelings from that.”

“I won’t let her,” he promised, “I could protect you from her influence with something that vampires can’t stand.”

“And what’s that,” I asked him.

“Vervain,” he replied, “It’s something that blocks out the natural talents we can use.”

“Like compulsion,” I asked him.

“Yes like compulsion,” he replied, “It also works against witches. It keeps them from poking around in your head. Lucky for them, it just surpresses their magic, not act like a poison.”

“Is that what vervain is like to you,” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he replied, “I don’t have a squeaky clean record in the range of kills as a vampire. I had a bad experience in New York down in the factory housing districts. Tess had to endure burns to her throat for a few years from inhaling vervain pollen.”

He stopped himself mid story. I knew that it had to be hard for him to tell things about his past. I don’t know it even means for him to be a vampire. I’m just an orphaned girl, living with her uncle until she can get on her own feet and fend for herself after high school.

“It’s okay, Alex,” I rubbed his shoulder, “You can tell me anything if you’re ready to.”

“It was awful,” he continued after a deep breath, “I had killed way too many people in a short window. Tess hauled me away from the city and into the countryside of northern New York. There she locked us into a mausoleum and kept me under constant contact with vervain to end my bloodlust. It was also I time had turn my emotions off.”

I looked at him. He had felt what it was like to not feel anything. For him to turn off the one thing that separated him from this Carmina woman, must have been the hardest choice he had made.

“The searing pain of the vervain petals and leaves touch my skin was all it took,” he continued, “The searing pain of a hot iron branding your skin over and over again was pure agony for me. I had been the one to do it to a vampire once. I have a natural talent along with my usual bag of vampire tricks to inflict pain on someone’s conscious mind. Making their entire nervous system feel immense pain, and I wouldn’t have to lay a finger on them.”

“What would happen if you had touch them,” I asked, “When you were projecting pain?”

“They’d go into shock and most likely die,” he answered plainly, “My age has mellowed me. I’m not violent, or ruthless anymore, well maybe to animals but that’s my food source. If anything, I’m just a little cocky like I was during my time and I’m reckless and I act before I think.”

“Like any young guy as handsome as you,” I smirked a little, “Your fiancée must have been smitten over you well before you decided to propose.”

“I didn’t decide actually,” he corrected me, “We were arranged. My parents were free land owners. Her parents were a minor noble family. Our parents matched us to get my family a title to maintain ownership of the land. But in time, before her death and the start of my cursed existence, we grew to love each other. I gave this as a gift the night before Carmina ruined my life.”

Alex handed me the locket. Inside was a painted picture of Alex, looking so dashing. His hair was long, like the fashion was during his time, and it was held out of his face by a proper hat. His smile was just like the one he wore around me, so warm and inviting as well as contagious. Next to his portrait was a small sprig of vervain, held in by a small piece of glass.

“You were so handsome,” I gushed over it as I slipped to chain over my head and got it under my hair, “I think you looked even better as a human than you do now.”

“You flatter me,” Alex blushed faintly, “Thank you, Kenzie.”

Alex kissed my cheek as he pulled me into his side. He felt so warm to me. He felt safe. I hadn’t felt safe like for as long as I can remember. Maybe the only time I had ever been safe was when I swaddled in my dad’s arms as a baby. I wish he and my mom were still alive.

“Now I have a few questions for you,” I moved so I sat on his lap, facing him.

“Ask away,” he encouraged.

“You’re a vampire, but you feel warm like me,” I asked, “How is that possible.”

“One word: coffee,” he answered, “It stimulates my heart to beat and circulate the blood I take around my body to make me warm. I’m not as warm as you, but it’s close enough that I can blend in.”

“Now my next question,” I looked out the window into the sunlight, “How can you walk out during the day without burning to a crisp?”

“Easy one,” he replied, “I wasn’t turned by a pureblood, “When you get turned by a vampire that wasn’t born a vampire, you don’t burn. But if you’re born as a vampire or turned by someone who was, you’ll burn. I had thought my creator was turned by a pureblood, but she lied. She was using us to hunt for her.”

“There were others like you,” I asked, “That served this Carmina I’ve heard about.”

“Yes,” he replied, “The only one that is close to my age that I remember from when I turned was Robert. He goes by Rian now and he lives in LA with a couple of Carmina’s old lackies we freed from her.”

“Will I get to meet them,” I asked, “That is if they’re trustworthy enough around me that is.”

“The guys have been on blood bags or animal blood for a long time,” he reassured me, “They won’t hurt you. We will actually go to LA after you graduate. I want to get you out of Baltimore and away from Carmina.”

“What about you,” I asked him, “Will come with me?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, “It might be safer for you and me to be apart for a couple years. I can get Carmina off our trail so I can be with you in LA. My first priority is to keep you safe and out of harm’s way.”

“Alex,” I took hold of his face, “I’m not all that weak. Give me a chance to help.”

“No,” he replied, “Out of the question.”

“Alex,” I begged, “Please. You can train how to fight a vampire.”

“I said no,” Alex sped across the room and pinned me against the wall, “You will not risk your life. I will not allow it.”

I was shaking. I had seen the face I saw in the first soul memory I had. The darkened eyes, the twisted face, and his fangs. I saw it all. I was scared of him. He had to have felt me shaking since he let me go and moved to sit on the floor against the wall. His face was covered, but heard him sob quietly. I sat on my knees next to him, and pulled him into my chest, holding him in my arms.

“It’s okay,” I murmured into his hair as I rocked him gently.

“No it’s not,” he whimpered quietly, “I could have lost control and killed you. It scares me.”

“I’m alive, okay,” I reassured him, “You have control still.”

“Not as much as you think,” he protested, “I’m barely in control, Mackenzie. If you were to have a cut on you hand or arm, I’d have to inflict myself with some sort of pain to stay in control. It’s killing me right, fighting my instincts to try to drain you dry. It was so stupid of me to think I could handle being close to one of my human students.”

“You are not stupid,” I told him, “You just need to learn even more control. Maybe if you take a little bit of my blood every once in a while, maybe you can-”

“No,” he darted away from me and out of my arms, “I am not even trying a drop of your blood, Kenzie. I won’t be able to stop.”

“Alex,” I stood up, “You can’t shoot it down. Besides I’m going to let you bite into me for it. I was going to serve it in a cup or a blood bag.”

“Still no,” he argued, “I’m going for it.”

“Oh it’s a lover’s quarrel,” Tay interrupted, having entered the house without knocking, “Maybe I should come back later.”

“Did you find anything,” Alex looked at her, avoiding eye contact with me, “Please tell you didn’t come to just say ‘too bad.’”

“I found a lead,” she replied, “But it’s locked up in my basement.”

“Your mother,” Alex’s jaw dropped.

“She knows it,” she replied, “But it requires a sacrifice to build up the magic pool to cast it.”

“Oh great,” I sighed heavily, “Who’s willing to volunteer their life to get the soul memories out of my head.”

“My mother is willing to die,” she replied, “She told me she died when she was forced to kill my dad. If it helps you to be free to live a sane life, she would die with peace in her heart.”

“I want to be there,” Alex added, “Can I be there?”

“We’re doing it in the graveyard,” she told him, “It’ll be away from the neighborhoods. So no one will hear my mother’s or Kenzie’s screams.”

“We need to do it on the full moon then,” he added, “You’ll be much stronger then.”

“One problem with that,” Tay protested, “The wolves control the graveyard. They go into the mausoleum to turn during the night. I have a contact in the wolves. Maybe I can get them to drive out into the woods way outside town.”

“Where we end up, I don’t care,” I waked over to Alex and laced my fingers with his, “Just as long as we get this soul out of my head, I can’t complain."

Notes

So this might be the only update I post during the day. I'm at a babysitting job with my laptop and no charger to keep it charged for me to work. I will try to update again, but it may have to wait until this evening.

And on a side note, I could not leave out the guys. I will pull them in soon, along with the crew maybe. There might be a chance for Cass to be in here too. :)