I'm Not A Savior

Graduation day has finally come. It was so hard to wake up. I know Alex won’t be there. He’ll be locked up in his basement, getting tortured out of his mind by Tessa. I missed him so much.
I stood in my mirror, wearing nothing but my bra and panties. I let my hand find the scar on my neck. My scar. From Alex. The man that I loved. No. I still love him. And that was what was bothering me. Anyone with the right sense of mind would hate him if they were in my position. I find it so hard to even think of hating him.

“Kenzie,” I was shaken out of my thoughts by Tay, “You need to get dressed. The ceremony’s today.”

“I wish he was here,” I cried. I hadn’t cried since I first saw that the bite mark had scarred, “I miss him so much.”

“I know,” Tay took me into her arms and held me up, “But he’s a dickwad right now. When he gets his shit together, we can have him come find you.”

“I want to see him before we go to the school,” I told her, “He doesn’t have to see me. I want to see him though.”

“Okay,” Tay nodded, “Let’s get you dressed first.”

I put on the dress I picked for my graduation. It was a red and white strapless dress. I grabbed the light grey cardigan I pulled out to help cover up my scar, fighting my tears as I did. I put on my white heels, wishing that Alex was here to help me get them on. I went into my bathroom and did my makeup. I made sure to use my waterproof makeup so I could cry during the ceremony and not ruin my makeup. Once I was done, I went into my room and Tay did my hair.

Once I was ready, I grabbed my cap and gown, and headed downstairs. My uncle took mine and Tay’s picture before we went out to her car. Tay drove us away from the school and into the woods, taking me to Alex’s house just outside town. Once we pulled up, Jack looked upset at seeing us.

“Tay,” Jack came over to the car, “You know that she can’t be here.”

“I know,” she replied, “But she wanted to see him. He doesn’t have to see her.”

“You won’t like what you’ll see,” he warned.

“I don’t care,” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “I need to see him one last time. I’m leaving with Tay tonight.”

Jack led me inside. Tessa was pissed, but Jack sent her a look that he’ll explain to her later why I was there. He led me to the basement and guided me to the door that led to Alex’s cell. I looked inside and I nearly gasped at what I saw.

Alex was covered in burns and bloodied scars. He looked miserable. He looked broken. I felt so sorry for him. The monster that lived in my boyfriend deserved this. He took away the love of my life. But I knew better than to be vengeful. That was still Alex. My Alex. And he was still in there, somewhere.

“I want to talk to him,” I told Jack.

“Are you sure,” Jack asked. I nodded.

Jack opened the door and walked in with me. He put on the gardening gloves that were by the door and grabbed the vervain ropes to get his attention.

“You have a visitor, Gaskarth,” Jack growled at him. Alex opened his eyes groggily.

“It looks more like dinner,” he threatened, “Why are you here, Tyler?”

“I wanted to say goodbye to the monster I love,” I told him, “You deserve this treatment for
abandoning me. First it was my parents when they died. Then you abandoned me. You broke my heart, but I’m a glutton for punishment I guess. I’ll still come back to you.”

“I don’t care,” he dismissed me like I was nothing, “You have nothing to offer me anymore. Go be human while you still can. When I get my strength back, I’ll hunt you down. Then I’ll really break your heart, right in my hand.”

I left and Jack sprayed him with vervain oils before following me. The last sound I heard walking out of that house was Alex’s screams and curses of agony.
---
“Are you all packed up,” Tay asked as I got my last bag into the living room.

“Yep,” I told her, “Let’s go.”

“Wait,” Rian came into the house holding a wrapped package with a letter attached, “You should take this with you.”

I opened the letter and read it aloud.

If you are reading this, then something happened to me that you feel unsafe. It might be that I’m actually dead or I hit the off switch. Either way, I want you to know that I still love you. I made sure to set you up with everything you could need in your future. In the box Rian gave you is some money I had put aside for you. I also put my favorite beanie, jacket, and shirt inside. They will smell like me for a very long time. I hope that they will bring you comfort when I can’t. I love you, Mackenzie. You are my world. I would be nothing without you. Loving Always, Alexander William Gaskarth.

I was crying so hard when I finished reading the letter. Rian held me in his arms. I was a wreck. Alex made the package for me. It was like he knew that something would happen that would tear us apart.

“I hate Alex,” I sobbed.

“No you don’t,” Rian told me.

“I do,” I protested, “I hate Alex. I hate the Alex that is in that basement. He took him away from me. He took my love away.”

“Let’s get her out of here,” Tay suggested as she and Zack got my things outside.

“You’ll make a new life with Tay,” he told me, “And we’ll be only a phone call away if you need anything. You’re not alone.”

“Bring him back to me,” I told him, “I want Alex back as soon as you can manage it.”

“I promise to bring him back,” Rian promised, “And I will kick his ass for abandoning you.”

I got into the car and Tay started the engine. We pulled out and away from my house. We headed out of town. I stared out the window, clutching my package from Alex in my arms. My tears never stopped flowing down my cheeks as we left Maryland. My innocence died that night. I wasn’t going to let anything hurt me like Alex did. I built up walls around my heart. I wasn’t going to move on. I was going to wait for Alex. But I was also going to live my life. The only difference is that I won’t fall in love again.

Notes

There's one more chapter. It's the epilogue. Then I will begin the sequel.