Therapy *Sequel to Circles*

a week later
Shaden's P.O.V.

"So Shaden we have to run tests again because it seems you're not well to say it in the easiest term happy, sleeping right, or coming out of your shell plus you're still losing weight some how." Doctor Annes told me looking at my papers. "Well it could be my Metabolism pills I have two of them my green tea ones, and my Forskolin pills, plus vitamins which are my B-12's, Calcium, Iron, Cranberry, Omega 3-6-9, Evening Primrose, Magnesium, Vitamin C, and Biotin (Hair, and Nail Growth) Pills, and my pills for my heart murmer oh and well me working out two hours a day almost since I have nothing better to do." I told her calmly leaving out taking weight loss pills but what she said made me a bit angry causing me to make a fist because I have been getting better its been like almost two and a half months now I've been here. "Alright, but here is the good news we think it maybe that you just need meds for your umm problems as you call them so after the tests we are going to put you on meds since you do seem to be doing so much better with everything after three weeks of the meds and your still doing well you can be released with the other three." She told me brightly. "Oh my goodness you're kidding right no more being here I can do what I want and everything. I'll be free to go back to the studio, hang out, enjoy life again?, but just with the help of pills how high a dose are we talking? and how many? and for what?" I questioned. "Well no in three weeks all four of you will be released we think you're all ready, and yes you will be able to go back to sobriety and just enjoy life I know you miss your sister, but we do have to still talk about this un-named guy who flipped your world around before we can actually release you. In medicine wise we were thinking of putting you on stuff for you, Night Terrors, Insomnia, Anxiety, Depression your ADD and Autism, and get an Epipen for your allergies and up your dosage for your heart." She said smiling. " Well that means I'll be on.... 5..12....18.... like 18 pills in total do I really need any for the ADD, and Autism I never really needed them even when I was younger?" I asked looking at her trying to avoid the whole you know who story she knows of everything, but of why I went back to it all after I was clean for a bit well all of it. "Well no not necessarily the most important ones are the Depression, Insomnia, Night Terror, and Heart meds so we can possibly cut out the Anxiety, ADD, Autism ones if you would like?" She said staring at me with an odd uncomfortable look. "Thank you it would be way too many to keep track of and well some I have lived without so I know how to deal with." I said with a grateful smile.
"Now onto this guys I need to know about it so we can help you how did he make you spiral what made it finally I hate these words what made you finally break or as you called it snapped." She asked holding her clipboard she asks me this at least 3 times a week never in group will I talk about it never will I talk to anyone, but Terry, and Garrett about it.

"I guess well its time to tell you all about my history with well you know who since you know everything about my bullying, abuse, parents splitting, thinking my dad was dead meanwhile he was alive all my life, getting into drugs, being raped, blackmailed, child loss, and my engagement falling apart losing everything.." I said she nodded for me to continue. " Well it started with a contest to sing with my favorite band one that saved my life basically I became friends with them after winning, I met the lead guitarist who was just a celebrity crush since I first heard of them so when he told me he liked me the day we met in person we kissed I told him now I can't be with him because he will never be around, the next day my x was in the crowd and well Jack kissed me that's his name Jack the reason I guess I slipped. So umm after Scott my x found him at the signing made a pic up to make it look like I was nothing, but a well excuse my language throughout this explanation but anyways to make me look like a well whore Jack believed him and stormed off Alex the singer or the band who is like a brother to me found me at my really close friend Austins set, by then I had made up my mind to give Jack a chance so I went to find him, but my good friend Jake who is the lead guitarist and who is a big part of this because I was confused because well I like him to he is so perfect, but he found me freaking out when I had looked everywhere for Jack. I broke down crying on him when Ash and Jinxx well Jeremy other words the bassist and rhythm guitarist came up were asking questions when CC came by and saw this then asked me and held me he is my other best friend and the drummer of black veil brides so Jack was calling my name, but I was still crying I heard CC call him over, then I was picked up and handed to someone I guessed Jack and was right we went to the bus and well we got into an argument and I got up and ran when the guys came back then a lot happened when I found Skye's bus I performed another few times that day and then as I was leaving Scott found me after Cc left me for the bathroom Scott and I yelled a bit he gave me my prom purse and well what was in it started me back at this?" I said shivering as the past of what was in there.

"What was in it?" She said curiously looking upset herself. "Well a pregnancy test picture with me pregnant at prom with him and a box of pills I used to take and a thing of razors he told me I'd need them for now on the just left when I broke down. CC found me brought me back to well Asking's bus another set of friends of mine who well got me drinking the way I did, but I met Juliet Simms of Automatic Loveletter and well The Voice and well She is Andy the lead singer or Black Veil Brides girlfriend, Her, Alex, CC and I were in the back room she saw it and so did the others Alex made me show them my arms and well after that the boys left I told Juliet everything, and well Sammi Doll of IMAX and well My Satellite and well Jinxx's wife at the time plus him open the door seeing my arms that night after Skye Mercedes, and Phoenix showed up us 6 went to the river dumped everything in the purse in the lake we went to the hotel partied and well it was truth or dare after some crazy dare to have me be made over then go skinny dipping with Jack, and my crazy ass Friend Dahvie while Jayy tapped it then Ash dared me and Jack to spend an hour alone in the bathroom Jack and I shouted then Asked a few of the big guys to help since Jack is a fairly tall man himself to help he just got up and ran, but ashley wasn't done he made Jake go in too I talked to Jake while Jack hid in the tub sulking turns out Jake was having second thoughts about his fiancee and he liked me I told him no and there is only a chance because I like him too if he was single and I live in LA then I talked to Jack he yelled I slammed the tiles then cried after all that Alex rescued me from the bathroom Jack, and Jake yelled Jake came out asked if I was okay esp my hand I told him I was fine to ease the tension well I put on a song that Jeff, Jayy, and Dahvie made called sexting and ened that Jayy about an hour later kicked Jack out of the bathroom to pee and well I danced with Austin like really dirty I am almost ashamed of it to make Jack jealous it worked to well we ended up about thirty minutes later in a closest making out and I wrote on him then just left." I said sighing not wanting to go further.

"Wow that's a lot and I am guessing there is more if you don't want to finish we can end the session?" She said noticing I how overwhelmed I was. "If I don't finish now I know myself and I will never finish so umm basicall they went and finished warped while since Courage My Love and Sumo Cyco were only playing Toronto we all went back, but I got my record deal was recording when I was suprised by all five members of Black Veil Brides and well three fourths of All Time Low who was missing well the one person I wanted to see Jack Bassam Barakat. When explaining my song which you heard before umm it was about him he yelled then left I recorded the song that day with Ashley, then the other with Alex and then one with Andy the next day and was told baically I had no choice I was going on tour with CML and SC for three months I told my family a few days later my step dad disowned me and unwelcomed me from the family and my moms home so I drove home to my apartment called Alex because I didn't trust myself alone they came comforted me even Jack I talked to him then Joked around I ripped him out of my bed ran and hid with Matt their old tour manager who I am insanely close with my Mickey" I laughed shaking my head at his nickname. "then well they left Jack and I alone which lead to us being hot and heavy after showing him the scars because he saw them when we had to skinny dip plus the cuts I was clean at the time well we got into it like we were pretty close to having sex and it was cause we had a fight got violent and I dared him to make me admit I love him because well he kissed me while I was crying and then layed on me jokingly but kept turning me on we got into the argument which made us wnd up to the whole I dare you he got my house coat belt I admitted I loved it like that and that rough and wel it got to us doing that when I remembered Taylor my boyfriend and I freaked got away from Jack went to my alcohol cabnet got my vodka and started chugging while we had an argument like all messed the guys came in Alex freaked on who we looked I yelled went to bed woke up to Jack hugging me asleep I freaked thought we had sex I asked Matt, Rian, and Zack if we had sex the said now he just held me while I cried in my sleep them I took them for breakfast the left that evening and well I went on tour started to do weed again and other things drink worse and all even tho I was one of the managers so I was parting with Of Mice & Men which is Austin's band and well Alan is a huge pot head like my sis was and I was and we smoked more than enough I also had some drugs and way too much to drink to this day I got no clue if Alan and I slept with each other we ended up somewhere else in the hotel away from everyone weeks before I ended up same state but on my bus and slept with my friend Mike of Peirce The Veil this one I know happened cause well I thought I was pregnant nope late becausee of the drugs but they were Jacks best friends I met my dad for the first time a week later after seeing Mike then the next day him and my mom saw Shy and I perform with Black Veil Brides and on our own doing well some covers and when they left the next day ended up with Alan then three weeks later we met up with All Time Low in England spent four days with them on the second day well a prank war between Jack and I that why I ended up with blue hair when I got here not the white I had from Dahvie and Jeff but after that we ened up partying on the thrid day and well I slept with Jack I made it a final good-bye which ended rough again the next day I was onstage perfoming my whole EP and then with them so I was doing don't walk away and Jack started to sing with me not Alex and after when it was time to leave we got into it and I can never forget what he said its been in my head worse than what Scott said to me about asking if I knew who I was." I said starting to cry.

"What did he say Darling?" She siad leaning forward handing me tissues. "Thanks and he asked if this was a game all of it I told him it wasn't then well it escalated quick to him then saying after I admitted I loved him after sleeping with him and I meant it when I said it which he already loved me and meant it when he said it first and well I told him I slept with Alan, and Mike in the heat of the argument which caused the whole scene which I will just pretty much tell you all that happened and the actions." I said trying to control my breathing and calm down before continuing.

Notes