Circles

Soon as the door shut when all three of us were in there I looked at Jack sulking in the bathtub which made me point, and nod to Jake we just burst out laughing maybe I can find out what's up with Jake too.

"Hey Jake umm got a question why were you acting so weird all day?" What do you mean Shay? "Just you would be so nice then yelling at me then when moron over there" as I jabbed my thumb towards Jack as he looked up While I continued. " hurt my feelings you've been giving him the death glare, and were staring at me a lot I'm 19, and I know I am young, but not blind by far! so what was it all about?" he stayed silent for a bit I looked over to Jack with his headphones in I wonder when he did that I just walked over, and sat on the counter, and looked at Jake he finally said something after about 10 mins of being conflicted from what I could see I wonder what's so bad.
" Okay here it is. I like you, and I know I shouldn't plain, and simple me, and Ella are having problems, and I am starting to like you which never should have happened so there." he said as he slid down the door I couldn't even speak besides saying "wow" I thought for a minute or, two on how this kinda explained how he was acting towards me, and everyone else I turned back to him got off the counter, and crouched down in front of him with my hands on my knees, and the skirt tucked up, and said "That explains a lot Jake, but I told Jack this all I do is hurt people as you can see how that turned out when he didn't listen" I let out a sigh letting my head fall and my fringe hang in my face. "Trust me Jake you are better off without me everyone is I keep saying after tonight you guys are gone, and you all will never see me again ever just to rationalize myself so I don't fall all over you guys, but you are a great guy I don't want to bring you down because I am not a good option Jake I am not by far. You have Ella shes amazing, and I won't be a relationship wrecker I like you, and Jack it will never be for anyone here anyone who likes me is best to move on and forget me like Jack is I guess trying you should to, but anyways since he seems to hate me now I am not gonna let all this affect you, and Ella she doesn't deserve that, but if you are ever single, and state I move to Cali if my deal that Shane has struck for me takes off then we can try I guess, but thats up to you in the future, and is only an option if you are single doesn't mean break up with Ella, and I live out there but think Ella is a Woman and I am a girl I don't know how to deal with what she does trust me I am clueless I am sorry why do you think I didn't say yes to Jack" I finished breathlessly, and turned to Jack and sighed.

Jake nodded at me pulling me in for a hug which I gladly returned after he took out his headphones leaving me with my thoughts this is a lot to think about both Jake, and Jack like me after about five minutes, or so I decided thats it I am gonna talk to Jack I tapped Jake on the arm, and motioned I was gonna talk to Jack, and I need him to keep the glass door shut on Jacks side he just nodded I waited for Jake to get up soon as he was up we walked over opened the glass as Jake blocked the other side still with his earbuds I nodded to him with a sad smile as a thanks. I got in the tub, and closed the door I looked down at Jack as he looked at my legs, and sock clad feet while having his arms folded over his knees, and his head resting on them just staring straight forward I went to sit down, and he backed up, and went to turn to get out when he realized Jake was there, and just grumbled a bit, and went back to his original position so when I took a seat he was staring straight at me I decided now is a good time to chance talking to him. I asked him what my ex had said to him, but no answer I saw him turn up his music up on full blast ignoring me it was so loud I bet even Jake could hear it over his own. I got kinda pissed after a moment, and ripped them out of his ears he looked pissed, and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT YOU WHORE? CAN'T YOU SEE I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE LIKE FUCK YOU ARE A GOD DAMN BI" He didn't get to finish cause I slammed my hand on the tile near him in the shower to get him to stop. ouch that kinda hurt I thought to myself I started to cry a little from the pain, and what he had said to me. this was a hero of mine my crush. Jack looked at me, and mumbled an inaudible sorry, but it didn't matter we had 5 more minutes so I had to talk, and fast "Jack you know what I was gonna tell you I had decided to give you a chance and ask you what truthfully happened that I wasn't that kind of girl who would do something like that I don't play games, but you're never going to believe me no matter what I say to you are you?" "not one bit"
"I thought so but I like you Jack a lot and I don't want to get hurt but I was going to tell you yes I would give you a chance because I thought after today what's my chance of happiness little to none so why would I lie to you this is why I told you not to do anything because he would do this and what is happening right now would happen hell I didn't expect you to be here tonight I expected you, Rian, and Zack to be on the bus gone and why you listen to me? You think what you heard is right its fine Jack but promise me you will think about it because I will get you proof ask Alex, CC, Juliet, Sammi, Jinxx, and even Sever, Mercedes, and Phoenix what they saw in that purse, and you will know I wasn't lying to you he was that picture was fake I can email you the real one when I am home Ri is my ex boyfriend I dumped him when I found we were growing distant when you, and I got close because I didn't like him anymore so why lead him on that picture was me, and Scott the night Ri caught him cheating, but the pic was of me and Scott kissing in winter look behind there is snow, and yes it may not looked photoshopped. but Scott worked for the same company and he was a hacker, and expert at photoshop who better to know that me. Just please believe me I don't want to lose you as a friend, or what ever we are becoming"
"Listen nothing you damn well say is going to change my mind you lied you never told me you are anorexic or cut that you were the one who cheated you lied to me I can't trust yo...." I was wondering why he stopped when I heard the door creak. I turned to see why he stopped Alex had come to let us out, or stop the yelling match I opened the shower door, and ran to him, and cried he took me out, once I stopped crying, and shut the door leading me back to the group.

I heard Jake, and Jack yelling, and everyones eyes on me " So how much did all of you hear?" Andy looked up, and said "not much besides Jack yelling at you him being cut off with a loud bang noise then it was all quiet we were kinda scared he hit you, but we didn't hear Jake freaking what happened?" "well umm you see he didn't hit anything, but I did" I said while looking down at my hand. I turned along with everyone else, and an upset looking Jake walked out I owed to ask is he was alright. "Jake are you alright?" "Yea I am just fine, but what about you, and your hand? that had to hurt." I sighed looking at my hand "I'm fine Jake it's just sore, but it shut Jack up in a hurry." Jayy gasped, and said "you hit Jack." I went wide eyed, and just started laughing like crazy everyone was looking at me like I went mad when Jake said "no, but she hit the tiles right by him pretty hard tho I've never seen someone shut up so fast in my life." laughing while he finished. everyone else started laughing while Alex looked at me, and pulled me back to his spot between Skye, and Austin they both smiled at me meekly I was done with all the drama so I decided it was time to get this party going again so I got up plugged my iPod in, and put on sexting everyone looked at me weird I just said "What I thought we were partying pass the Alcohol here."

I need to get wasted soon as possible as the alcohol was passed to me I moved it to blame it Aaron, and Austin got up decided they wanted to Sing their version, and the tensiondisappeared thank goodness I grabbed Hayley and Skye and dragged them up to dance soon enough everyone was up while Jack was still Sulking in the bathroom until about an hour later when Jayy had to pee just as he was coming out the song changed to my Favorite dance song Whine Up by Kat DeLuna youtube.com/watch?v=rsZlXmw21Z0
I know that song by heart I got up on the bed as drunk as I was pulling Alex, Austin, and a few of the girls while I stood in between Alex, and Austin I looked down seeing Jayy with my camera again well looks like this is being filmed I said to them "I wanna make Jack jealous one of you want to help?" Austin just smiled, and stepped behind me as the music picked up Jack looked over at me, and I licked my lips, mouthed "this could be you hunn next dance is you if you want? He just nodded, and watched as I looked up at Austin he nodded to start it was coming up to my favorite lyric where it says "Boy keep doing what you're doing get me hot, Winding up your body you don't have to stop, my temperature's rising I want you more than before, its and animal attraction whine your body up" I also mouthed winking at Jack he just stood there watching Austin, and I started to grind on him then turned, and grinned that way facing him turned my head, and swung myself down a bit with my arms around Austin's neck he looked shocked so did a few people no one knows, but I took hip-hop, contemporary, Belly dancing, and Jazz growing up so this was nothing I kinda feel bad for Austin this can not do a guy good in the pants situation the song was almost over at this point when I did that I turned around, and dropped on the last lyric with my head down I got up thanked Austin for his help because Alex came over high-fived me pulled me in for a hug, and told me how jealous Jack looks score! By this time I am completely hammered. I can't believe I am even standing.

I jumped down, and walked over to Jack still staring at me oddly grinning "you like that Jacky that could have been you, you do know that right?" he just rolled his eyes as Amnesia came on I went to walk away, and he grabbed my waist roughly, and pressed me to him starting to sway both of our hips what's up with him? Alex looked over, and mouthed you good I just nodded. Maybe he was as drunk as I am cause I am just past hammed I have to be to dance like this, and not care, but I thought Jack hated me he bent down to my ear, and slurred "you don't know how hot you look right now, and that up there wasn't fair at all, but its my turn now." with that his lips were on my neck god damn it why did Jack do this maybe making him jealous worked to well, but I might as well have some fun cause he will hate me again tomorrow.
He's gotta be in between hammered, and just drunk because Alex said he was only like this when he's at that point. About 2 songs had passed, and Jack hasn't let go we both had our bottles in hand just drinking away while dancing things were kinda starting to get hazy so I put my bottle down. Jack moved slowly somewhere when I realized we were in a closet I kinda got scared of what was going to happen I could hear the music thumping, and someone ask where we went, but Ashley just said maybe they made up, and are fucking. Then everyone carried on next thing I knew Jack turned on the light while moving closer to me I backed up against the wall, and felt my phone screen dig into my hip I thought I heard a light dial noise, but it must be the music because I have a few songs that have that. Jack was staring down at me with quite the difference in height me only being 5'6, and him being 6'2 he was like 8 inches taller than me he leaned down by my ear again "you don't know how bad I want to believe you, but I just can't not after Holly I like you, and I want you right now so bad." he slurred then quickly pulled my close to him, and kissed me it was nothing like the first time we kissed he was so gentle, and passionate , but still had a rough edge to it. Now its just a sloppy drunk mess, but I couldn't help, but kiss back he looked so good in the dim light. the way his cologne smelled mixed with the alcohol it was intoxicating he started to run his hands down my sides I pulled away look at him "Jack we can't be like this its not good you'll just forget all this in the morning and hate me again I don't want it to be that way, but it will, but I hope you will remember in the morning, but there is one thing I am going to do to make sure you do know what happened right here, and now." "Whats that?" he asked in a deep hushed tone I leaned into his chest, looked up and lightly kissed his neck leaving my lipstick mark behind with a small hickey he moaned lightly. That's payback for the like 5 on my neck already kissed my way up his neck leaving more lipstick marks up it, I reached up bringing his head down to mine while I got on my tippy toes, and kissed him one of his hands traveled down to my ass while the other one went to the back of my neck tilting my head up further as he stepped forward making me back completely up to the wall again I lightly bit his lip he just smirked into the kiss I wrapped one of my legs around his pulling him closer while he squeezed my ass I gasped lightly he took the chance to slide his tongue in my mouth this time I am determined to win dominance after a little I managed to win dominance leading while making out he removed his hand from my neck sliding it down to my breast slightly squeezing it then sliding his hand under my shirt along my ribs tracing my scars I pulled away from the kiss looked into his eyes seeing he is still in there, and still wants me is just hurt while still tracing the light scars.He leaned down started to kiss my neck lightly this time I could feel his smirk against my neck when I moaned lightly he started to bite lightly on the spot where one of the hickies are he tilted his head back up kissed me lightly again then pulled away from my face leaving his hands where they are. We just stared at each other in silence for a few minutes in the dim light while he traced the scars under my shirt on my ribs while the other traces the ones on my hips under my skirt.

The silence was broken when he chuckled lightly "Shay you honestly don't know how beautiful you are I saw when we were up stairs on the roof you don't have to be ashamed you have scars everyone does. You are still beautiful its a painful, and devastatingly beautiful the kind you don't want. Many of us think you are fuckin beyond gorgeous, but you being so insecure and the fact you cut, starve, and whatever else you may do to yourself its not worth it trust me you need to put it behind you. You are killing me its been only like a month an a week that I've known you, but you've got me so freaking messed up over this I don't know what to believe, but I want to believe it its just who is right I'm not sure, and I like you a lot Shay you don't even understand yea I was jealous about you having to kiss everyone else, and then dancing with Austin like that who wouldn't get jealous seeing you move like that." he said I interrupted him. "Umm does this have a point." I said a little impatient he's stalling. "Yes there is I was meaning that you are beautiful in the worst way I wish you could see it, and that I want you with me, but you are so damn scared, and that you are trouble in the best way." he said he is so confusing cause he is drunk. He kissed my cheek then pulled fully apart, but still keeping his hands where they were after a moment he slid them onto my waist he looked down. "Now what were you saying Shay" he said I just nodded
remembering what I wanted to do.

"This give me your left arm after I do this." I took out my sharpie, and wrote on his neck across the lip mark with small hickey it said read your Left arm then wrote vertically on his arm after rolling up his sleeve "I am sorry Jack, but when you see this tomorrow you will be on the plane, or changing to leave I may not be here when you read this. I hope you remember tonight, and the fun we had kissing, and dancing despite all the shit that happened in the last few days I am going to miss you please don't forget that I am your friend, and maybe more if you ever choose to believe me. Its 1:30am we are in a closet, and actually talking so please think I know you weren't drunk earlier when I told you everything if you were ask Jake today he will tell you what I had said because I know he is still one of the most sober ~forever and always your friend Shay I hope you will always be there for me like I am for you never forget that Jacky. <3
I pushed him out of the way, opened the closet door, and left, but not before I kissed Jack one more time like it will be the last cause it might very well be. I then turned, and walked fully away to where Alex was looking for us soon as he saw me he pushed through to me and pulled me in for a hug asking me is I was alright besides sore hips from Jack gripping me so right, and my hand from earlier, so I just nodded told him to pass me my drink, but moved my shirt and wrote on my stomach you danced with Austin to make Jack jealous it worked you and Jack kissed, danced, and he wants to believe you, but can't trust cause of his past he said devistatingly beautiful about you how what I do isn't worth it. have patients. So that way in the morning I could remember what happened with us. We all got really hammered, and passed out anywhere we could find Sammi, and Jinxx went back into their room same with Andy, and Juliet I made a couple teasing jokes as they left I crawled on to the bed with Austin, Jake, Alex, Zack, and Jack I just decided to lay across the five with my head on Alex's stomach my feet on Jac with Austin, Jake, and Zack between them and Jack after Zack so if anyone gets kicked its him oh well sucks to be him, but I need him to see the note, and remember on his own, or be told by Jake since he seen everything, but what happened in the closet.

Notes