My Only One (Jalex)

Jack's POV:

I'd been texting Alex non-stop over the course of the weekend. You could tell that he was distraught but so would anyone if you'd just lost your brother not long after you started to grow close. Along with talking to him, I couldn't get the memories of our kiss to go away. It was gentle, soft and full of emotion. I liked it, I'm not going to lie, I liked it a lot. Neither of us had brought it up over the weekend: it wasn't the time but I know that we're going to have to talk about it some time. It was eating me. It was like the taste of Alex was permanently on my lips. I couldn't describe it but it had quickly become my favourite taste ever.

My feelings towards Alex hadn't decreased either, in fact, they'd probably grown stronger. It sucked though because he's my teacher. I know I'm a senior and I don't have long left in Dulaney but that's besides the point. I can't just box my emotions up and put them away until it's legal to actually act on them. I needed to talk this through with him and soon, but I can't do it now? It might take his mind off his family situation but he doesn't need a hormonal teenager adding to his long list of worries. Alex said that it's still okay for us to chat after school today (Monday) so I think I might say something then. I have to, despite how selfish that may seem.

School had rolled around without many problems. Rian and I were up to our usual tricks of pissing off teachers and making several dick jokes. I was popular in my old schools but I never considered any of my 'friends' to be my friends. They were just people who tagged on behind me so they didn't get bullied by me. It was kind of weird that I'd go into these different schools and I'd immediately climb to the top of the popularity ladder. I'd make maybe one good friend and I'd then go and talk to them and tell them more personal things about me. It'd all seem great until the tables turned and I was the one that ended up being bullied because of my so-called friends opening their mouths. Not this time though. Rian was something else, he was...genuine. There was no hidden agenda with him, what you saw was what you got and I much preferred it that way. He was lovely and I knew, for sure, that he would stick beside me. Admittedly, I didn't make the best first impression of myself when I first started here but I'm pretty sure that I've managed to turn things around. I hadn't bullied anyone as such since that day when I pinned that ginger kid up against the lockers. Since then, Alan and I had settled our differences and he was actually a really nice guy, funny as hell too.

The bell rang, signalling the end of the day. I was in Alex's class right now so I just took my time and waited for him to pack away his stuff from the lesson. A few people had commented on how tired Alex looked today, and I agreed. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair wasn't particularly styled like it usually was and he looked pale. Even in this state though, I still thought he was beautiful. He was Alex, why wouldn't he be beautiful? He'd put away the last of the music theory books and we were now walking down to his office in an comfortable silence. We soon reached his office, only to find Mr Merrick sat at the little meeting table that Alex had acquired somewhere.
"Mr Merrick, to what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Shut up, Gaskarth. I was just going to ask you if you were okay: you look a little tired today, that's all but you've got Jack with you so I'll see you tomorrow."
"I'm okay, I'll explain tomorrow or something. See you."
Mr Merrick walked out the door, nodding in my direction as he shut the door.
"Does he do that often?" I broke the silence.
"Do what?"
"Just sit in your office and wait for you to come back?"
"Yeah, a lot actually."
"Really? Maybe he's crushing on you or something?"
"Who? Zack? Nah, he's as straight as a pole...I think."
"You think? Trust me, he's got a thing for you."
"What ever you say, Jack, whatever you say."

Alex sat down on our usual talking spot, the black leather sofa, patting the spot next to him, telling me to sit down too. I did as he gestured, a comfortable silence taking over us.
"Listen, Jack, about Friday.."
My heart sank: I knew he was going to say that the kiss was a mistake and it was inappropriate and we need to draw a line underneath it and move on because his job makes it so that we can't go any further.
"I know what you're gonna say, Lex..."
"So you understand that it's not something that can happen again...in school?"
My head shot up, my eyes meeting his. His eyes did hold a significant element of sadness in them but they were still as captivating as ever, the caramel flecks showing even more than usual.
"Are you saying that there's a chance that we..."
I tailed off, not being able to find the words to complete my question.
"Yeah, I am, Jack. I though a lot about it over the weekend. Texting you and us sharing little details about ourselves felt so right, so natural. It made me want to get to know everything about you, and by everything, I mean everything. I want to know your every secret, I want to know of your most favourite memories but also the memories you want to forget. I want to know how your body works, I want to know what calms you down, what turns you on, what you hate, what you love. I want to know everything about you, Jack."
Alex had reduced me to a blushing mess. My heart was thumping in my chest, my hands a little clammy.
"I want the same thing...I want to be able to sense when something's wrong and know what will make things right again. I want to know how your mind works, Lex. I want to be able to lie awake all night and take mental notes on how you sleep, as creepy as that sounds. I want to know your kinks and your quirks. I want to know you, Lex, I want to know all of you."
Alex smiled, his dimple showing again. Silence washed over us again. We sat next to each other, our thighs brushing against each other, sending shivers up my spine every time our legs brushed if one of us shifted slightly. The thing I liked about spending time with Alex was that there was often no need for words. We could sit in complete silence for hours but it'd feel like a thousand words had been spoken between us. We just understood each other. We were perfectly happy in each other's company.

"How have you been holding up, Lex? I don't really want to put a dampener on things but I'm just concerned..."
"I think I'm doing okay...I mean, as well as I think I could. I had my first panic attack in years yesterday when my mom rang me, telling me the details of his funeral. That's why I'm so tired today, it's normal after an attack for me. I don't think I'll be going to his funeral though..."
"Why not, Lex? It might help you have some closure."
"True, but it's in England. He's my half brother so his mom has organised everything back in the UK. My mom accepted him and treat him as one of her own but his mom has the right to organise it. I don't have the money to fly over and with work, I just don't have the time. I'm too busy and I don't think I'd be able to cope. I'd break down and I'd probably have another attack beforehand. I don't know...the funeral's next week too so it's a bit soon to be booking flights etc. Plus, his mom and I never really saw eye to eye..."
I wrapped an arm around Alex's waist, pulling him into my side for a hug.
"I'm sorry, Lex. I wish I could help more but I don't know how. Maybe you could hold your own little ceremony for him? Have some closure of your own."
"Jack, you're doing more than my own mother is doing for me and you have no idea how grateful I am for what you're doing for me. I don't think I'll ever be able thank you enough. I like that idea though... It's more personal that way too."
"You don't have to thank me, Lex. You can do it your own way then. From what you've said, although you two only started to rekindle your relationship, you were pretty close. You can do what he wanted, not what his mother thinks he wanted."
"Very true. For a young man, Jack, you really are very mature. I'm going to do that...but ca-can you maybe be with me?"
"Of course, Lex. You don't even need to ask."
Alex leaned into me a little more, the heat from his body radiating into mine.
"Thanks, Jay..."
"Jay?"
"Um, yeah... Sorry."
"Hey, don't apologise. I like it, Lex."
"That's good. I know Dan would be happy for me to have some support along side me, especially with it being the guy I've been harping on to him about."
Alex blushed at his confession, hiding his face against my body.
"You've talked to him about me?"
"Um, yeah, I did. I didn't say much, only that I was helping you and then as we talked more, I started talking to him about how I felt... I didn't say anything specific but he already guessed how I was feeling."
"Oh."
It was all I could say: I was stunned. He'd talked about me to his brother. That made me insanely happy. It made my heart swell and my stomach flip.

We stayed in our embrace for a little while longer, both of us enjoying the little time we had with each other every day, neither of us wanting it to end. Small talk was exchanged between us, mostly about how I was feeling and Alex planning his own little farewell to Dan.
"Jay?"
"Yeah?"
"Um, tell me to fuck off here but you've never really told me what happens at home. I know that something goes on, I'm not stupid, but I've never really pushed for you to tell me."
I sighed, it dawning on me that I never have actually explained it.
"Um, well, my mom works a lot. She's rarely at home and when she is, she's either cleaning or sleeping. My dad owns a big law firm so he's rolling in money but he's a greedy bastard. He spends his money on expensive whiskey that he drinks every night till he can barely stand. I don't know why though. I mean, there's no need for my mom to actually be working because of the amount of money that my dad earns for doing fuck all, but I'm pretty sure she does it just to get away from it all. When he's drunk, he's not the nicest person to be around. If I so much as put one finger out of line, he flares us. He's hit me before and it's not unheard of for him to throw me against walls. I'm a disappointment to him because I don't want to take over the business. I'm not particularly smart and I have no intentions of going to college. He resents me. He's told me before that he wishes that I was never born. My brother and sister, Joe and May, are at university right now doing law so they can join the business but I've got no interest in it... They just hate me."
I started to cry, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. This time, it was Alex who was doing the comforting, stroking my hair and whispering nothing in particular in my ear. I composed myself fairly quickly.
"I'm sorry. I'm not meant to be the one crying."
"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Jay. It's my fault for asking."
"No, it's not. I've never told anyone what really happens at home before though...I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest."
"That's good then. You know you can tell me anything, Jay. I think it's pretty clear that neither of us are particularly happy right now but that'll change. We're here for each other and that's all that matters."
Alex hugged me into his side even tighter than before. I relaxed into the contours of his body, resting my head on his shoulder.

"We better go, Jay, before they lock us in here. I'll drive you home again, although I'm not that happy about letting you stay there now I know what goes on...I mean, I'd let you stay at mine but it's risky..."
"I know, Lex. I understand. Don't worry. I've dealt with him before. Besides, my mom is home tonight so I need to see her and catch up with her. Plus, if it gets too much, I can always go and stay at Rian's."
"Promise me you'll ring me if anything happens?"
"I promise, Lex."
"Good. Come on."
Alex slung his bag on his shoulder and walked out of his office, holding the door for me. He locked the door before walking beside me out to his car. We were walking close, our hands brushing against the other's as we walked. I had an urge to hold his hand but we were in school, there might be teachers or students around, although that would be highly unlikely, and I wasn't completely sure on what we were.

We made it out to his car and we were now driving back, New Found Glory filling the silence that had settled between us. We pulled up to my house all too quickly. I sighed before unbuckling my seat belt, my hand going to open the door before Alex stopped me by grabbing my wrist.
"Wait...can I try something?"
I furrowed my brow, confusion and excitement cursing through me.
"Yeah..."
Alex leant over the centre console towards me, his hand coming up to cup my jaw again. He pushed our lips together in a slow kiss. It was rougher than our first kiss on Friday but I liked it all the same. Alex ran his tongue along my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I granted straight away, desperately wanting to know what Alex truly tasted like. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, it instantly rubbing against mine. We skipped the teasing and the little kitten flicks and went into a full on battle. Our tongues pushed together with force. I, somehow, managed to dominate the kiss, rubbing my tongue against the roof of his mouth, making him moan into my mouth. It was one of the most amazing sounds that I had ever heard. It was like music to my ears. I pulled away a few seconds afterwards, my lungs panting for air.
"As much...as I...liked that...I do not...need a boner walking...into my house with a drunken father."
"I don't need a boner either. Visiting your mom with a boner is not the best of greetings."
I chuckled, grinning at Alex.
"You know, Jay? I don't think I'll ever get used to kissing you."
"I don't think I'll get used to it either. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Of course, it's my favourite part of the day."
"Mine too. Bye, Lex."
"See you, Jay."
Alex pressed his lips against mine for a quick peck. I got out of his car and walked up to my house, waving to Alex as I shut the door behind me.

Notes

Hey,

I realised that there was a shit tonne of mistakes in the previous chapter so they're now sorted :/ sorry

Thanks for reading/voting/commenting/being rad, I love you guys a lot.

There won't be a chapter tomorrow, sorry. I'm literally playing concerts all day so whatever I write will just be complete crap. I'll definitely update Friday though :)

Em x