My Only One (Jalex)

Alex's POV:

The past few days came and went in a blur. Understandably, Jack was a mess. He hardly slept at night, he hardly ate, he never smiled and it was a rare occasion that you'd find him without tears in his eyes. It hurt me so see him like this. All I wanted to do was hug him constantly and plant soft kisses all over his face but he'd always push me away whenever I tried to do anything of that kind. He had been staying with me though and despite him distancing himself from everyone during the day, he'd always cuddle me during the night. Whether he knew he was doing it or not, was a different story but I don't care: it feels nice to have his body pressed against mine.

I wasn't mad though, I was far from it. I knew exactly how this felt, to lose someone to close to you. I, too, distanced myself from everyone who loved and cared about me. I just wanted to be alone when Dan died and I guess Jack's feeling the same. Joyce's funeral was only a day away and I could tell that the proximity of the looming event was bothering Jack. It'd bother anyone but it was really hitting Jack hard. I think it was worse that she actually woke up. She'd awoken to her son and daughter. They'd exchanged happy conversation and everyone thought that she was in the clear. The doctors had told me that she wouldn't make it, but I already knew. I was told by someone else...someone no longer here on earth.

See, I'm a medium. I can communicate with people who have passed on. It's kind of hard to explain. I can see them, I can hear what they're saying and I can communicate back but I can't feel them. My mom took me to therapy when I was around fourteen because she used to catch me appearing to be talking to myself, only having a one-sided conversation. It made it worse when I said that I was seeing people. She and my dad had me pegged as being a little screwed up. I'd get bullied for it too. I never told anyone but kids tend to pick on the weird kids, especially ones who will randomly start talking to thin air. A lot of children say they can see spirits but, more often than not, they grow out of it. Not me though, this gift stayed with me. When I was in the hospital with Jack and May, an elder woman with grey hair appeared by Joyce's bedside. She had an accent, but knowing that Jack was originally from Lebanon told me that that's where the accent came from. This grey-haired woman looked a lot like Joyce. She had the same facial features, the same wide eyes and the same smile. It wasn't hard to tell that this was Joyce's mother and Jack's grandmother. I knew Joyce wouldn't make it as soon as she turned up. I broke my heart, that's why I excused myself to go the bathroom: I knew what was going to happen and I couldn't bare to see Jack and May in a state. I'm yet to tell Jack this but, right now, I don't think that it's the right time. He's in bits as it is without me telling him that I saw his grandmother appear at his mom's bedside hours before Joyce actually died. I'd have to tell him one day though: I can't keep this information to myself. I have to tell him because it involves his family and he has a right to know. It might help him to know that she didn't go alone and she was happy.

-

It was the morning of the funeral. Jack hadn't slept at all last night and I hadn't either because I'd been trying my hardest to ease his pain and stop the continual sobbing. Jack emerged from the bathroom, his hair was styled, but it was nowhere near as perfect as usual. He'd pulled one his best suit and put on his dress shoes. I couldn't help but admire how hot he looked. Situation aside, I genuinely thought he looked perfect. The messy hair suited him and the suit did wonders for his figure. It made me wonder if he'd look like that on our wedding day, if we ever get that far. His eyes were tired though and bloodshot from a night of crying. Hopefully today will help bring some closure for him and he'll start to get over his mother's death. He'll never fully get over losing his mom at such a young age, for both him and her, but he'll eventually stop grieving. He'll miss her like hell, sure, but he'll move on and become happier again. After all, that's what she'd want for him.

"You ready to go, Jay?"
"As I'll ever be."
I held out my hand for him to take and walked out of the bedroom and out to my car. Because it was only going to be a very tiny affair, with only Jack, myself, May, James and Joe, the eldest Barakat sibling going to be there. This meant that it was safe for me to be there with Jack. Even if it wasn't I'd find a way because there was no way in hell that I was going to let him go without me to be there to support him. We arrived at the crematorium, meeting everyone else there. The coffin was already in the room, there not being enough people to carry it and Jack and May thought it'd be nice to come in to her already being there and situated in place ready for the curtain to be drawn around the wooden coffin. We all greeted each other with sad smiles and small hugs before walking into the room with our heads hung low.

"We're all here today to celebrate the life of Joyce Marie Barakat. Joyce was a very happy woman and she always managed to see the positive side in everything. She was well-loved and it seemed that everyone that knew her loved her dearly."
I stopped listening to what the man was saying, him reading every word off a piece of paper in front of him. The words were true, May had written them, but they weren't true coming from him. He didn't know her. Yes, what he was reading was mainly true, but it felt wrong that those words were coming from someone who she didn't know.
"Would anyone like to come and say a few words about Joyce before the curtain is drawn?"
The room was silent for a few seconds before a raspy voice spoke up from beside me.
"I w-would."
I squeezed Jack's hand in reassurance, silently telling him that he can do it and that I'm incredibly proud of him.
"My mom, she was amazing. I'm not going to stand up here and bullshit though. She had it rough. My dad was a man that she'd been dreaming of meeting for the whole of her childhood. He was sweet to her. She'd frequently show me old photographs from their many dates when they were young. They were in love and you could see it in their eyes. Over the last few years though, they fell out of love. My dad, Bassam, became head of his law firm and the importance of his job went to his head. The money he was earning didn't though. That went to alcohol. He became a monster. He treated May, Joe, Mom and myself like shit. But, she never gave in. She persevered and dealt with it. She used to comfort me at night when he'd stumble in late at night. She became my rock in everything. I loved her dearly, I still do. I j-just want to say that w-we all love you, M-Mom, and you're g-going to b-be missed a hell of a l-lot. I lo-love you so m-much, Mom."
Jack broke down in tears, his sobs echoing. He left the front of the room and returned to his seat next to me. He continued to softly cry throughout the rest of the funeral, his tears soaking my shirt but I didn't care.

I saw Joyce smile from behind the man doing the service. She had tears running down her face. She made her way over to Jack and sat next to him, taking his hand in hers. Although his hand didn't move, she still had it placed in hers. Jack visibly shivered, his face going slightly pale.
"Why is it so cold, Lex?"
"It's your mom, Jay."
Jack smiled slightly at me before cuddling back into me, his eyes locked onto his hand that she was holding though. The curtain was being drawn now, the coffin soon to be taken away, along with Joyce herself.
"Look after him, Alex. He needs you. Tell him I love him."
She went. There was no poof of smoke, no sudden vanishing. She literally walked through the curtain that was hiding the coffin containing her body. I felt her presence leave, indicating that she had gone completely. She'd passed over now. She wouldn't visit again in spirit form unless she had to, a lot like her mother did.

We all left the room in a long line, tears in everyone's eyes and the occasional sniffle breaking the silence. We all gathered outside, where the flowers that we had placed on top of the coffin before the funeral had started had been laid out on the grass. We all took a few moments to compose ourselves. I felt the tension leaving Jack. I knew that this day would be a big step for him.
"I'm so proud of you, Jay. I love you so much."
I kissed his forehead through his fringe.
"I love you too, Lex."
That was the first time he'd said those words to me and there was some other emotion behind them other than sadness since the night Joyce left us. I took his hand in mine, said our goodbyes to everyone and walked over to our car. We didn't mean to come across as rude but I had something else planned and Jack was starting to get a little agitated being at the crematorium, as was I.

"Lex? This isn't the way home, where are we going?"
"You said 'home'."
"Oh. Sorry, Lex."
"Shut up. It is home, you're right. It's our home."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"True. We're going to the forest clearing, remember the one we went to when Dan died?"
"Yeah, but why there?"
"I like it there and I need to explain something to you and there just feels like the right place to do so."
"Ermm, okay?"
"Don't worry, it's nothing bad. It might take a bit of time to get your head around it but it's nothing bad."
"That's good."

-

"So, you're saying that you can talk to dead people?"
"Yeah, they can talk to me and I can talk back. I see them too."
"So back then, earlier, when you said it was my mom that was making me cold, you saw her?"
"Yeah. Do you want me to tell you what I saw?"
"Could you?"
"Yeah. She appeared just before you ended your speech, just as you started to get all choked up actually. She was crying but she had a smile on her face. She looked healthy though. None of this white glow shit around her, she just looked like she was a normal person. She then came and sat next to you just after you sat back down, again, walking like a normal person would, no floating. She took a hold of your hand and held it in yours. I saw you shiver and I knew exactly why. When you asked why you were cold, I wasn't lying when I said it was your mom. It's common for people to go cold. Then, just as the curtain was closing, she walked back. She told me to look after and for me to tell you that she loves you. Then she walked through the curtain and I then felt her presence disappear."
"Oh, wow. I felt my hand go funny, almost like someone was holding it, but I didn't say anything in case you thought I was mental."
"I'd never think that you were mental. You know, when my mom kept finding me talking into thin air, having one sided conversations with myself, she took me to a therapist. It took a while for her to understand but she did in the end."
"I can imagine that."
We sat on the mossy log seats a little while longer, a cool breeze making the plants and trees sway slightly. It was peaceful. Beautiful, almost.
"You knew, didn't you?"
"Huh?"
"You knew she was going to die before she even woke up, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I did. Has your mom's mom died?"
"Yeah, she died quite young. I've never met her. I've heard really nice stories though."
"Well, a grey haired woman appeared by your mom's bedside. She looked very similar to your mom. You've all got the same eyes actually. She was talking to you mom. Telling her to not be afraid to let go. You grandmother took her with her. She was happy, Jack. She was happy that you were happy, that May seemed happy, she wasn't surprised that Joe didn't come but she knew it was because of his job. She went with your grandmother, chatting away like women over a cup of tea and a slice of cake. She wasn't sad, Jack, and that's all that matters."
I saw tears in Jack's eyes. I pulled him onto my lap and hugged him tight into my chest, kissing his hair in random spots. He relaxed into my body and soon his breathing had evened out into a steady rhythm. I peered around his head to see his eyes closed, his eyelashes resting on his cheekbones slightly. He hadn't slept properly in days so I let him sleep.

I stayed sitting in the forest with a sleeping Jack on my knee for a few more hours. I never got bored or tired though. I kept reminiscing about the things that myself and Dan would get up to in this very clearing. The Pokemon games we used to play and the games of hide and seek, although they were short lived because only having to find one person in a forest clearing kind of sucked after a few turns. I could just make out the carving that Dan had made in the big oak tree just across the clearing from the seats we'd fashioned out of fallen branches.
'Dan and Alex
1996-TBA'
I smiled at the memory, it being fresh in my mind like it happened just yesterday. I'd never really thought of the small memories like that very one before but now I had to opportunity to, it made me happy but it also made me miss the days where everything was so simple.

The air had started to get a little too chilly to bare so I decided to go. Jack was still asleep in my lap so I carried him to the car, setting him in the back seat so he could continue to sleep. I drove the short journey in complete silence, my mind still swimming with old memories and the events that had unfolded today. I was surprised at how well Jack took the whole 'me seeing ghosts' thing. He didn't seem deterred by it and I was glad. I'd had one boyfriend before Jack and one he'd found out, he treated me like I was some inmate in a mental institution. I was glad that Jack didn't do the same. To say I was relieved, was the biggest understatement of the year.

Back at the house, I carried Jack straight to our bedroom and laid him in our bed. It felt nice to say that it was our bedroom and our bed. I undressed him, leaving him in his boxers and tucked him in. I joined him shortly afterwards. We'd both naturally assumed our position of spooning, Jack being the big spoon, and drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Hopefully things would start to look up now.

Notes

Hi,

Firstly I want to apologise for probably making you cry over the last few chapters, I've been crying whilst I wrote it so maybe we could all cry together? Like a crying party.

Also, if any of you are confused about the whole medium thing, message me. Basically what Alex described is what I experience. Yup, I see dead people. Weird, I know. If you're confused about anything though, just drop me a message and I'll try to explain.

Thanks for reading/voting/subbing and for getting this around the midway point on the first popular page, it makes me very happy to see that.
Em x