It is no use. I just can't fall asleep, I am lying there and shiver under my blanket but that is not because of the cold, it is the fear. I get up and take my pillow and carefully feel my way through the darkness to the guest room while my heartbeat is pounding in my ears.

I can only make out a dark shape on the bed and reach out my hand to feel where he is at. "Alex?" I get a grunt as a response, he is a deep sleeper. I try to slide into his bed as slowly as possible so as to not wake him up. He shifts around until he lies comfortable again and throws an arm around my waist as we lie there spooning. I let out a breath relaxing and as crazy as it sounds it only takes minutes and I am falling asleep.

I awake the next morning because there is the sound of somebody moving around in the house. I lie still and listen, it is not Alex as he is still fast asleep behind me but I can hear footsteps.

Suddenly the door to the guest room is pushed open and Tony is standing in the doorframe. I want to sit up with a smile when I see his eyes go wide with shock.

"What the fuck, Gi! What are you doing? Why? Can you tell me?" Tony's shouting woke up Alex and he looks at me surprised and then at Tony before he seems to understand the situation and he suddenly sits up.

"Hey, Tony." He gets up holding his hands out as to calm Tony down. "Don't jump to conclusions."

Tony looks from Alex who is in a shirt and boxers to me as I am wearing my PJ. But the fact that we are both dressed doesn't seem to relax him.

"I drove the whole fucking night to be able to spend a few hours with my GIRLFRIEND." He stresses the word and gives me a death glare. "Only to find her in bed with her Ex. What should I make of that, tell me Alex since you are so clever!" Tony paces the room fuming.

I jump out of bed and try to stand in his way. "Tony, you are not really suggesting that, are you? Tony please, I love you."

I try to hold him by his arm but he yanks it out of my grip. Meanwhile Alex got dressed and is about to leave. He turns around at the door though and stares Tony down.

"I tell you what you should make of it. You shouldn't have left your GIRLFRIEND alone in the state she is in. Did you really think the traumatic incidents Gi has been through would leave her soul without a trace?
She has developed anxiety and whatnot. Fuck, she nearly had been killed twice what do you expect? This girl doesn't need your shit Tony, this girl needs therapy."

With that he turns around and leaves without another word.
Tony stares after him, his jaw slack then he looks at me with furred brows. "Is that true? Do you have anxiety?" I nod looking to the floor.

"But you don't trust me enough to tell me, instead you talk to Alex about it and ask him for help? This is so unfair. I have been there for you every time. Gi, I can't deal with that right now." He runs his hands through his hair and leaves the room. I can hear his footsteps on the stairs and then I hear the front door slam shut.

I sit back down on the bed. Fuck! I messed up bad this time. Okay, I scold myself this is all your fault so don't sit around sulking. I get up and the tears are streaming again, I am so sad but also so mad at myself that I punch the wall. My hand hurts like a bitch but that's what I deserve for hurting everybody around me, especially for hurting Tony. I slide down the wall and bury my face in my arms and cry. I don't know how long I have been sitting like this but eventually my tears run dry.

I drag myself up and into our bedroom. I take out my bag and start to pack, I don't know if this can ever be fixed but right now I think it is the best if I leave, luckily I still have my apartment.
I just throw in the things I find and then take my stuff from the bathroom to place it on top then I knee onto the bag to squeeze the zipper shut.

I drag the bag down the stairs and take Mayhems collar and leash when Tony storms back into the house and stops dead in his tracks when he sees me in the living room and he looks from the bag to me and back. He looks as if he has been crying as well.

He clears his throat and crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Good, you have packed already." I nod and make my way to the door when he grabs my hand and pulls me along. I hiss at the touch because my hand is swollen by now and really painful.

He notices and looks down at our hands, when he sees my now forming bruise he let's go of my hand and stares at me in disbelief then he wipes his face and groans shaking his head.
Next thing he bends down and grabs my bag and takes my other hand to drag me out of the house, locking up after us. I look at him worried, what is he up to?

He opens the door of a car I don't recognise, it is probably the one he has been driving here, and shoves me and Mayhem inside. Then he walks around to the drivers side and gets in as well.

"You are coming with me."

It takes a moment until I react. "WHAT?" I look at him as if he went nuts. What does he mean?

"You are coming with me on tour, there is no way I am gonna let you stay by yourself." He answers looking grim.

"But Tony, that is not gonna work! What will the boys say? You just can't - " I don't understand why he is doing that when he interrupts me.
"Gi, I am not going to discuss this with you now because I am still mad at you and I don't want to say things I might regret later."

He looks away from me and seems to concentrate on the traffic so I shrug and keep quiet leaning my face against the cool window and cuddling Mayhem for some well needed warmth and affection.

Notes

I wanted to cut the chapter to make it a cliffhanger, but I could do that to you guys. Or maybe I should have?