The days fly by and it is time for Tony to pack. Tomorrow morning the bus will pick him up. I sit on the bed and watch him gather his stuff. He seems somewhat off but I am too, so I don't question his mood.

We have planned a nice dinner and a quiet evening so when the packing is done I go to the kitchen to heat up the meal we have prepared together this afternoon. I don't need my crutches anymore and even take Mayhem out for little walks once in a while.

Tony sets the table nicely, placing and lighting a candle in the middle and opening a bottle of wine for us, still he is unusually quiet, even for him.

"Tony, what is it? You have barely said a word this last hour, Turtle." I ask when I bring in the casserole.

His head snaps up, he seemed to have been deep in thought. "Oh it's just, - I'm worried about you, Babe."

"Don't be!" I come over to him and take his face in my hands kissing him softly. " I will be fine, I am a big girl now. And I want a big girl desert." I add stretching up to kiss his earlobe.

He pushes me down to sitting and kisses my cheek softly. "Let's eat before it gets cold, Babe."

I frown but start to eat and we actually manage to have a convo over dinner. Afterwards we sit on the couch cuddled together watching some movie. I don't pay attention but take in Tonys scent and feel his warmth and his heartbeat. My hands start to roam his body and it takes a while for him to react by taking my hands in his and holding them in place.

"Tony" I whine "Let's go to bed."

He looks at me sternly. "What are you implying?" He raises his brows at me.

"Don't play stupid, Tony. You are leaving tomorrow for two weeks! What do you think I'm implying?" I get a bit annoyed at his distant behaviour.

"Gi, I don't think this is a good idea." He says with a pained expression on his face.

It shows that I am slowly back to my normal self when I can feel my anger rising and I get up from the couch and turn towards Tony.

"What? Are you kidding me? What's wrong with you? Believe me I never had to beg for sex before! But okay, fine! Is it because of my scars? Does that turn you off?" I pace the living room getting more and more annoyed while he just stays seated on the couch watching me with an expression on his face I cannot decipher.

I have blurted out one of my deep fears here, up to this point I have not been able to look at the bullet wound and the scar from the surgery. I am simply afraid it will look horrible and also it will be a constant reminder of what happened. Something I am trying to forget.

Tony has jumped up from the couch as well and he looks pretty pissed. "Is that what you think? Don't you get it? YOU NEARLY DIED! For Christ sake! The doctors said it was a close call, they told me you need to rest to recover!" He shouts back. "I don't want to loose you! I'm horrified you could get sick again!" He adds with a sob. "Don't you think I have been missing you. Missing being with you. Believe me it's all I can think about."

When I realise what he just said my anger vanishes and I have to shake my head at how stupid we both are. I take his hand and tell him. "Tony, don't worry, I will be okay and we will be careful, I'm not made of glass I told you." With that I pull him towards our bedroom.
We are careful, taking it slow and making love rather than having sex and it is awesome because not only our bodies merge but our souls and minds touch.

When we lie in each other's arms afterwards. I look up to his face and kiss his lips once again.
"God, I love you, Tony."

He sighs and smiles back. "Gi you have no fucking idea." He places his face in the crook of my neck and soon after his slow breathing tells me he's been falling asleep.

Notes

:)