Jalex One Shots

If you are offended by drugs please don't read this also *trigger warning*
Title Credit: Lullabies by All Time Low

Alex’s Point Of View

Whatever my decision was I have both items sitting in front of me. A small bag of cocaine and a razor. Whilst the cocaine would help me forget about everything for a few hours I could also get addicted to that. I've seen it before; someone thinks that they're only going to try coke once because its a cool and fun party drug but they don't realize that their life could become dependent on it.

I flush the contents of the bag down the toilet and then do the same to the bag. Now it’s gone and it can’t fuck up my life.

Now I'm only left with one choice, cutting myself to relive the pain that nothing else seems to get rid of; not even Jack's hugs could fix what I'm feeling right now. I walk back to my bunk but I'm stopped but a recognizable lanky figure in front of me.

"You okay Lex? It's 4 in the morning what are you doing up?" Jack asks me with his sleepy voice.

"I had to piss.” I almost stutter, I do that when I lie but I think he’s too tired to notice. “Night Jack." I give him a smile and then get into my bunk and wait for the bus to become silent again.

I pull the clean razor out from under my pillow and look at it. What the hell am I doing? I don't need this.

Yes you do Alex, you're worthless and your girlfriend dumped you because she hates you. They all hate you. The voice in the back of my head says.

"Shut up." I whimper as I pull at my hair.

The voice was right though. I pull my black skinny jeans down to my knees and rest the sharp side of the blade on the skin of my upper thigh. I don't need this I'm stronger than this.

No you're not Alex, they hate you.

Fuck.

-2 Months Later-

Jack's Point Of View

Alex has been rather distant lately. His quiet at signings, he doesn't go to bars with us anymore. He just gets back to his bunk and shuts himself in there until we have another show. We only get to see him for the couple of second that he takes to walk to and from the toilet when he needs to piss. This needs to stop.

Alex's Point Of View

The voice has consumed me. No matter how hard I have tried to ignore that voice it doesn't go away. It's louder. It controls every action that I make.

Don't go sit with them Alex, they hate you.

They're not really your fan, you sound like shit and you can't sing Alex.

You have no talent; why are you still alive?

And it's not just when I'm awake, it's even worse when I go to sleep. I'll have nightmares and wake up covered in sweat in the middle of winter.

That razor; it became my best friend. This is an addiction worse than cocaine. I can't stop.

I look over at my phone to see what the time is. It's 9:34pm and my wallpaper is still Jack and I. I miss him; I haven't talked to him in weeks. But I need someone's help and I don't know how else to get it. I step out of my bunk and then realize that they're actually at a bar right now like they are every night until 1am. I sigh and leave my pants off [still wearing underwear of course] and walk into the kitchen to get some orange juice.

"Alex is that you?" I hear Jack's voice from behind me and I drop the glass in my hand.

"Shit sorry." I hurry to pick up the smashed glass on the floor that reminds me so much of myself.

"Here." Jack hands me a dustpan and brush type thing which makes it easier to clean up. I throw out the broken glass and see that Jack is still standing there.

"Jack can I say in your bunk tonight?" I ask him.

"Only if you tell me what's going on." He says with his arms crossed.

I let out and sigh and walk into the back room of the bus.

I tell Jack everything. The coke, the cutting and even the voices.

"Alex I'm going to help you through this but you need to want to get better." Jack puts his arm around me and we get into his bunk.

"Can we start tomorrow? I'm tired Jack." I let out another sigh.

"Okay. Try and get some sleep Lex. Wake me up if you have any bad dreams." Jack tries to wrap his legs around mine.

“Not tonight, my legs still hurt.” I say quietly.

“Sorry Lexy.” Jack places a small kiss on the top of my forehead. “Sweet dreams.”

"Thank you Jack." I nuzzle my head into Jack's chest and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

*Later on that night*

Jack’s Point Of View

“Jacky are you awake?” I hear a scared Alex ask me. I open my eyes and look over at him. His body is shaking and he’s crying.

“Yeah, Lex what happened?” I pull him into my arms and his crying becomes silent. I can still feel his tears soak through my top.

“I can’t feel anything anymore Jack, I’m done.” Alex says emotionlessly.

“What can I do to make it better? Alex I need you here.”

“I-I just- leave me alone.” Alex tries to push me away.

“I left you alone last time Alex and now you’re covered in scars and bruises. I’m not going to sit here and watch my best friend destroy himself.” I say truthfully. “And I know that you don’t like people touching your hair whilst you’re like this but I can’t see your beautiful eyes.” I reach my hand out and brush his hair away from his eyes.

“Alexander, talk to me, please. I want you to get better.”

He just stays silent.

“Alex come on, please.” I put my arms around him and hug him tighter to my chest.

“But I want to die Jack, I can’t think about anything else.” He says just above a whisper.

Tears start rolling down my cheeks and I don’t know what else to say. My best friend doesn’t want to be alive anymore.

I quickly think of something. We’re playing here again tomorrow and everyone else should still be asleep because it’s 3am.

“Here put these on.” I hand him a handful of clothes and then quickly change my clothes.

We walk out of my bunk and I lead him off the bus and we start walking until we arrive at a park. I sit down on one of the swings and Alex just stands there with the same expression on his face; nothing.

“Sit.” I say pointing to a swing opposite me. He sits down on the swing and looks down at his feet.

“Why do you want to die Alex?”

“I can’t deal with what my head keeps telling me.” He lets out a small sigh. “Jack it’s killing me.”

“What does your head keep telling you?” I ask him.

“That I’m a talentless, worthless person.” A few tears roll down his cheek so I wipe them off.

“Sing me a song Alex.”

“Why?” He asks.

“Just do it, for me?”

“Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye -

It could be for the last time and it's not right.

"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.

Alone and far from home we'll find you...

Dead - Like a candle you burned out;

Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.

Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;

Throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,

Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around

It’s like a piece of me is missing.

I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?

Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?

Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,

Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Sing me to sleep.

Sing me to sleep.

Sing me to sleep.

Sing me to s...

Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)

I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),

Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” Alex sings everything perfectly.

“Alex that was perfect, and if you don’t believe me then believe the fans that we have. We’ve been a band for 10 years and we wouldn’t be where we are today if you weren’t here Alex. Imagine how all the fans would feel without you. Imagine Rian and Zack waking up every day knowing that you’re not coming back. Who am I going to fight over hairspray with? Alex whether you like it or not we all want you here. You’re one of the best people that I know. Alex please just try.” I struggle to hold my tears back but fail miserably. I place my head in my hands. I’ve pretty much lost my best friend.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. “Jack I’m so sorry. Please stop crying.” Alex and I sit on the swings until the sun rises. We walk back to the bus before any of the guys can wake up and Alex and I fall asleep in my bunk.

“Can you sing again? Your voice is perfect.” I ask as I place my head on his chest.

“What song?” Alex asks me.

“Therapy.”

Alex sings the lyrics softly and we soon fall asleep.