Dear María

The next weeks we travelled around Europe nonstop. Unfortunately, we didn’t have any shows in Spain. Right now we were in Mato Grosso, Brazil and I needed to see María and tell her in person I loved her and I meant what I think I said in my drunk state.
I looked at that goddamn magazine every fucking day. How could she, of all beautiful people in this world, do that to herself? Just-how? Why?
I’ve been watching her newest videos, yes, she still uploaded videos, and some of her fans’. There were some fans of hers in the equestrian center she was in who basically seemed to be recording everything she did. I watched one in which she was talking to a girl who had fallen from a small horse and lots of theory classes. Also, I watched some scenes of María being carried piggy back on top of either Oriol or another guy running up and down the small arena whilst some kids did some random activities. She looked so happy without me.
Then I came across something I wish I hadn’t. It was an old video and it seemed to be taken from a security camera or something. It showed the Stella’s paddock and I clicked in to see what was that about.
At the bottom left of the screen appeared the date and time. In the video, it was 3am and the video was taken three years ago, when María was 18-19.
María walked with a bottle in hand into Stella’s paddock. Stella walked to her and made her drunk friend sit down to curl up beside her.
Then the time changed to 3:45am. Stella seemed to be asleep and María pulled away slowly from her and looked like she was crying. She looked for something in her pockets and pulled a silver object. She slowly walked away from Stella and sat down next to the sprue. She dragged the silver object across her arms and she let one of them into the water. She let out a cry and Stella woke up.
She went to her friend and pulled her arm out of the water and kicked something beside her and all alarms were off and she stood beside her friend. A few minutes later there were some lights in the distance and Stella stood up and started to do that weird horse scream and put herself on two legs and soon the police appeared in the picture and called for an ambulance.
I didn’t notice I was crying until the video finished. How did these kids get such information? I read the description, in which the girl who uploaded this stated that appeared on TV two years ago but they only showed it in Spain, so María wouldn’t have to deal with other countries.
Okay, now I understood why Stella was such a protective bitch and why Oriol and María seemed to have a certain story going on. And maybe that also explained why Stella hated Mikel so much. There was a link to another similar video, but this time a younger version of Mikel appeared aswell. It looked like María was running away from him when she entered Stella’s paddock and she beat him up.
Now I wondered why Stella let me touch and kiss María in front of her. Did she think I was good enough for her? Or was she getting soft? I doubted that, but I didn’t really think she thought I was enough for her little girl. She acted like a mother to her.
Then something else crossed my mind: why hadn’t I heard of María’s parents? I mean, I knew what happened between María and his dad, everyone knew thanks to some interviews about Stella, but her mother? Her siblings? I heard they were close, but who knows.
Jack you should turn the Internet off, this is killing you.
I know, but I need to know what’s going on with her.
Well, you have her phone number, don’t you?
I turned to my phone and dialed her number. Please pick up.
“Jack?” she said with a sleepy voice.
“I love you” escaped from my lips, but I didn’t regret it.
“Jack, are you drunk?” she asked still sleepy.
“No, but I love you and I want to make sure you know before I lose you” I said with tears filling my voice. She was silent for a moment but I felt her frown and give me a weak smile.
“You know what time is it?” she chuckled.
“Well, where I am is 8pm” I said looking at the clock of the bus.
“Well, where I am is 2am” she answered with a laugh. I smiled hearing her voice. A comfortable silence started to grow between us when I decided to break it.
“I love you” I said controlling my voice, “I don’t want to lose you” I sniffed. She was quiet for a second.
“I love you too Jacky, I just need some time” she said with a thick voice.
“No, you don’t understand. I want to be with you, baby. I don’t care if you’re okay or not, I want to be there for you” I said with a begging tone. She went silent after that. After a few minutes she finally spoke up.
“I love you too, just let me fix myself a bit” with that she hung up.
What did that even mean?
I’ve never been in a commited relationship, I’m the one night stand type of guy and suddenly when I meet this girl, an interesting girl, sexy as fuck, pretty, funny and nice girl, my world has to turn around. I didn’t mind, since I knew I loved her, but I was afraid I’d fuck up or she’d forget about me.
This was so confusing.

Notes

I thought Jack's POV was missed so there :)
Thanks for those almost 2,400 views and 18 subscribers!

Title credit: Don't Pray For Me by Asking Alexandria.