Stop fucking around with my emotions.

*Jack' pov*

I had always liked Alex. Ever since I had first laid eyes on him. I was always there for him. I had never let him down. I loved him. I know it's cheesy or what ever but I could not imagine my life without him. Without being able to hear his voice every morning. Without playing with him at a show. With out hugging him when I am so close to falling apart. Alex is my everything. I want to be with him- scrap that- I need to be with him. And every second that I spend as his best friend, and nothing more, kills me on the inside. And I just can't bear being what we are now. It's not enough.

Alex's smile, it gives me butterflies, and if it's directed at me, I just have to stop for a moment, and marvel at how beautiful he is. I have to physically restrain myself from running my hands through his caramel hair every other second. I have to stop myself from kissing his perfect lips each time he talks to me. And I do get sad sometimes, that he won't ever feel the same towards me. I feel bad that I'll end up dying, having never gotten the other half of my soul back, that Alex so rudely stole when I first met him. I just want him to be happy. I want to make him happy. I want to be with him every darn second that he is breathing. Alex is perfection. It is actually so saddening that he doesn't realise how perfect he is. I want to scream it to the world, and make sure that every single person on this planet know, how much I love Alexander William Gaskarth. I would do anything, at all, for him. I would die for him, and I would give every single ounce of my happiness to him, just so I can see him genuinely smile, with no hint of depression behind his eyes. I love him.

My heart was doing somersaults as I looked deeply into his eyes, and it was like I was seeing into his soul. We could kiss, it was so close to happening. Time had long since stopped and this moment was lasting forever. I moved, just a tiny bit closer, and he did not pull away, or seen disgusted. It was now or never.


*Alex's pov*

Yes, I knew I was gay. And I had known for a while. And I needed to break it off with Lisa. She was a great girl, and was extremely beautiful, but I don't feel anymore love for her, and I can't stay in the relationship, it wouldn't be doing my condition any favours, and I would always feel very guilty that I was leading her on. But I couldn't do it over the phone, could I? I mean it would be sooooo much easier for me, not having to see her reaction. But I was the one that was in the wrong, she had done nothing bad, so she deserved to be treated in the best way possible. I did still care greatly for her and so I guessed I should wait till the end of the tour to do it. But, right now, I was with Jack, and this moment felt so right. I had not realise it until now, but I did have feelings for this skunk haired guy I called my best friend. I found him extremely attractive, yes. He always made me feel better, and he cared for me so much. I guess, deep down I had always acknowledged the way he had stared at me when I was talking to someone, or had always blushed or became flustered if we had joked about being a couple. And the way his eyes would soften when ever I would smiled. And I guess I had always, deep down, liked Jack more than as a friend. Jack had helped me in more ways than I can explain, and I love him more than I can put into words. I longed to be with Jack; I craved his touch. I wanted to know how his lips tasted, and how it would feel to fall asleep in his arms every single night for the rest of my life.

He moved his face closer to mine, so his lips were millimetres away from mine. I yearned for this so badly. I closed my eyes. It was now or never.

Notes

Title credit: This Is The First Thing by You Me At Six
I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SSORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONERR and i am not so sorry about making you wait just a little bit longer for them to kiss ehehehehe
alsO WOWIW ALMOST1K READS ON THIS THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TY TY TYYY SO MUCH!!!!
aPOLOGIES FOR ANY TYPOS, I WILL FIX THEM L8R OKEI