Thinking of You

Arianne’s Perspective

Two weeks passed. Things gradually became more complicated. Zack was lovely, but also very, very busy. I mean, I expected that, but not to the degree where I’d go days without hearing a word from him. I had to rely on his Twitter, Keek, and Instagram to make sure that he was alive.

I understood that when he was touring, it was a full-time job. I understood that he had to update his social network pages to keep connected with the fans. I understood that music came before anything else.

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t difficult. I quickly became used to the sound of the dial tone, again and again, until I was put to his voicemail, whose greeting message I’d memorized to an almost creepy degree, from his cadence to when he inhaled and exhaled. I got used to staring at the Skype calling screen, listening to the dumb beeping until I’d finally hang up and vow to try again later.

Until one day, when he actually answered on Skype.

“Arianne!” His face lit up when he saw me on the screen. I immediately started to feel bad about what I was about to say. “What’s the matter?” He asked.

“Zack...I don’t think this can work.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you never call or text, and I just miss you so much…” I whispered.

“Arianne, this is my job. You know it comes first,” he said sternly.

I sighed.

“I know, but something tells me you’re not that great at multi-tasking,” I said sadly.

“Come on, Ari. We’ll be back in America in four days!”

“Being in the same continent isn’t going to change anything! Look, I just think that we should call it quits now before one of gets hurt!”

“Ari, please. We’ll be back in Maryland in May and then we’re on break for a while!”

“That’s over a month away.”

“Why can’t you just wait?! See, what I don’t understand is that you knew what you were getting into with me, yet you’re acting all surprised, like I should just pack up my dreams and come home to you!”

“I never said that.”

“It’s written all over your face! You may as well say it.”

“I--”

“Fuck, Arianne, just say everything you’ve been holding back!”

“Fine. I hate that your dreams take you far away from me, and that some days, I don’t even know if they even include me.”

“Come on, Ari. You know that you’re already so important to me.”

“Do I, Zack?”

His jaw tightened.

“Fine then. If you won’t believe me, then there’s nothing I can do to convince you. I think we’re done here.”

“I agree.”

“Okay. Goodbye, Arianne.”

Zack hung up and I immediately curled up in a ball, sobbing. I know I’d initiated this, but I regretted it more than anything. I wished I could just take it all back. I wish I could call him and say that I’d leave Baltimore to tour the world with him and his best friends.

But I couldn’t, and that was the end of us.

Notes

Title: Breathe, Taylor Swift

Ouch.

Thank you as usual to winedrunklosers for singlehandedly keeping this story in business!

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xoxo

Hayley