The Good Life

*Jack*

I woke up later than I normally do, but it was probably because I was tossing and turning all night. Alex, on the other hand, slept… or I should say is still sleeping peacefully. He basically fell asleep after we had sex. I couldn’t sleep because I was overthinking everything. If I was truly ready for the baby, how could Alex and I work things out, If Camilla and José were scamming me. I’m surprised I actually got any sleep at all last night.

I got up from my bed and went to take a hot shower and hopefully clear my mind. I stayed in a little longer than I thought, but I did feel more relaxed. Alex was still asleep when I stepped out and got dressed. I let him sleep in peace and went to the kitchen to find something to eat. I haven’t been grocery shopping in a while so the only breakfast food I had was pop tarts and granola bars. I grabbed a package of pop tarts and went to watching TV in the living room. As soon as I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV my doorbell rang. I didn’t feel like moving, but I didn’t have a choice.

“Hey Vicki!” I greeted her when I opened the door.

“I brought you something!!” She said and held up a book. “It’s a baby naming book!” She cheered.

“Aww thank you! I remember you saying you wanted to get one for me.” I told her.

“Yep and I would stay and help you go through it, but Emilio’s parents are visiting tomorrow so I have to make sure the house looks perfect or else his mother will have something to say.” She huffed.

“No worries, I can look through this by myself.” I reassured her.

“Okay well call me if you need a second opinion or anything” She said.

“Will do! And thanks again!” I said.

Vicki walked back across the street to her house and I went back to my couch. I heard my shower going when I passed my room which means Alex is awake. I opened the book, went to the section for girl names, and went straight for the A’s. I had no idea what to name her. There were too many options: Ariel, Angie, Alison, Ashley, Avery, and Ana were the only names I saw that were kind of decent so far but I still had millions of pages to go. Alex walked in a few minutes later wearing my clothes.

“That’s a nice shirt you have on.” I grinned. He was wearing one of my Jagk shirts.

“I got it out of a trashcan.” He joked and I laughed.

“Asshole.”

“What are you doing?” He sat down next to me and looked at the book.

“Looking through baby names.” I felt so awkward looking at names while he was here but he didn’t seem fazed by it.

“Oh.” He nodded and took the remote to turn the TV. We sat in silence for twenty minutes I looked through the book and Alex watched Sports Center. It didn’t feel weird anymore I was actually very comfortable sitting there with him.

“Find anything you like?” Alex asked while his show was on commercial.

“I kind of like Ariel a lot, but that’s probably because I like the Little Mermaid.” I chuckled.

“I’m surprised you’re not going to name her Kevin McCallister Barakat.” He laughed and I gasped realizing that wouldn’t be a bad idea. “Jack no I was kidding. Please don’t name her that.” He said.

“Fine, but if I ever have a son that’s going to be his name.” I pouted.

“You can name her Alexandria.” He said obviously just kidding.

“Why would I name her after you? You’re not her father.” I said without thinking. Great I made things awkward all over again. Even though it was true it was still weird to say out loud.

“…So what other names do you like?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“Autumn is the last name in the A’s I like and Blair is the first name in the B’s I like.” I told him.

“Those sound like rich kid names.” He laughed.

“She kind of will be a rich kind.” I shrugged.

“Oh yeah. Hopefully she won’t become bratty or anything.” He said and I nodded my head in agreement.

“This is taking forever there’s too many names.” I cried and closed the book frustrated.

“Why don’t you download that app that like gives you random baby names and you can see which ones you like.” He suggested.

“I left my phone in my room.” I whined.

“I’ll download it.” He sighed and unlocked his phone. I liked that we were talking like two normal friends, it’s as we didn’t have sex last night. “Okay I got it.” He handed me his phone.

I pressed the random button and the first name to come up was: Nicole.

“I don’t like that one.” I said and Alex agreed.

I pressed it again: Margret.

“That sounds like an old lady name.” Alex said and I laughed.

And I pressed it again: Lucky.

“What the hell? It’s a baby not a dog!” I yelled at Alex’s phone. Alex and I went through like fifteen more names before a text message popped up at the top of his phone. It was from Lisa and I didn’t try to read it, but when it came up I looked at the notification panel and saw the words.

It said “You’re such a dog!! You fuck me one day and then go fuck your little boy toy-” I couldn’t read the rest because it was cut off, but I didn’t need to see anymore. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Here I was trying to reconnect with Alex, but he was just using me I guess. I mean why else would he sleep with Lisa and then come sleep with me.

“Jack I can explain.” He claimed and took his phone away from me.

“No you don’t owe me an explanation. We’re not dating so you can do whatever you want.” I said bitterly.

“Yes I do. I don’t want you to think I just used you.” He said. “The day before your birthday I got really drunk and I tried to call you and ask you to come over, but I accidently called Lisa. So she showed up, but I was so gone that I didn’t know what was going on. She said she took me to my room and had her way with me. I woke up the next day naked and confused. And when I told her I meant to call you not her, she went crazy.” Alex told me but it didn’t sound true.

“Why would she say ‘you fucked me’ if she quote unquote had her way with you?” I asked skeptically.

“Because she’s crazy and still believes that I wanted to sleep with her.” He said.

“…Well it doesn’t matter because we’re not dating.” I said trying to make myself feel better.
“Why do you keep saying that?” he asked and threw his arms up.

“Because we’re not together. I’m going to be a father and you’re going to continue living your life.” I hissed.

“My life is shitty! It’s like I have no purpose! My life is boring and pointless!” Alex stressed.
“I felt the same way, one of the reasons I choose to adopt so I could give my life a purpose and I was tired of feeling like I was in a rut. I was bored doing the same thing over and over again.” I decided to take a chance. “You know it’s not too late for us to…you know… get back together and raise her together.” I smiled at him.

“I can’t! I’m not ready! I’m not father material and we’re not married. What if we broke up? Then we would have to take her back and forth between us two and she might end up screwed up like me.” He put his head in his hands.

“Hey you are not screwed up you’re just very caution of the choices you make, which is normal. And no one is ever truly ready to be a parent we’ll just have to learn as we go.” I said. “We were a great couple we just didn’t agree on a lot of important decisions that’s all.” I tried to say we a lot so he could think of us as a couple.

“What if I turn out to be a terrible father?” He sighed staring me in my eyes.

“You’re one of those people who are naturally good at everything you do. So you have nothing to be afraid of. And you won’t be alone I’ll be with you every step of the way I promise.” I placed my hand over his. I could see his breathing speed up before he finally took a deep breath.

“If she ends up hating me it’s going to be your fault not mine.” He lightly laughed.

“So is that a yes?!?”

Notes

Does anyone think Alex is just doing this in the heat of the moment?