Alex POV

“Matt who?” I demanded, standing up at once from the table I was sat at in Starbucks and heading outside, like a man on a mission. A mission to get information.

“You don’t know me,” he replied vaguely, not satisfying my curiosity at all. Funnily enough, I'd gathered that much for myself. “You’re Lisa’s husband, right?” he continued impatiently, barely even pausing for breath.

I felt slightly disturbed that he knew exactly who I was, yet I had no idea who he was.

If he’s going to refuse to tell me anything about him, I’m not going to answer his questions about me.

“What’s it to you?” I retorted sharply, genuinely wondering what he wanted.

“I’m Lisa’s ex-boyfriend,” he revealed flatly, finally painting the picture a little clearer for me.

And I sure didn't like what I was seeing.

“Uh, okay… Why are you ringing me? And why are you using her phone?” I demanded, intrigued and annoyed at the same time.

As I spoke, I wandered absent-mindedly along the busy streets of London, keeping my head down, trying to block out my noisy surroundings and focus on the conversation.

“I fancied a little chat with you,” he answered loosely, heightening my annoyance and intrigue.

My patience was wearing thin. I opened my mouth to tell him to just say what he rang to say, because he obviously didn’t ring for a juicy catch-up session, considering we don’t even know eachother, but he continued talking before I had the chance.

“I’ve got Lisa’s phone because she was foolish enough to leave it at my house when she stayed here last night,” he revealed brusquely.

This made me stop dead in my tracks. I definitely didn’t like the picture that he was forming in my mind now, of my wife going behind my back and going back to her ex while I was away…

“She stayed at your house last night?” I repeated in disbelief, hoping I had heard him wrong or he was just joking.

“Yes. I know it’s not really my place to tell you, but I’d want to know if my wife was sleeping around,” he told me openly, in a very matter-of-fact tone. He didn't sound the slightest bit sorry about dropping this bomb on my life.

I remained rooted to the spot as the world around me faded away.

“So, you're saying… You fucked my wife?" I was having trouble digesting and accepting what Matt was saying because I was in a state of shock and denial.

“Yeah. Sorry about that. But we have a history, you know?” he replied and I could practically hear the shrug in his voice. It was almost like he was bragging.

The anger began to rise up inside me like lava, but it wasn't aimed at my so-called cheating ex-wife; it was this guy. He had to be fucking joking... Trying to upset me, but he was only pissing me off.

“No, I don’t know. I think you’re full of bullshit,” I spat down the phone, resisting the rash urge to hang up the phone immediately, because deep inside I wanted more answers. “Lisa wouldn’t cheat on me.” My statement was confident, even though my confidence was slowly diminishing as the voices in my head were getting louder.

What if she did? What if she is the type of girl Jack warned you of all along and you were too blind to see?

“Wow, you’re so naïve,” Matt responded patronisingly, making my blood boil.

“Fuck you, man! Why should I believe a word you say? I don’t even know who you are!” I snapped defensively, not even caring that I had raised my voice considerably and people were now looking at me with raised eyebrows.

“I didn’t expect you to believe me, Lisa has clearly done a good job of keeping you oblivious to the whole situation. To the truth,” he replied mysteriously, practically speaking in riddles.

What 'truth'?

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I demanded frustratedly, slowly going crazy with my desperation for answers.

There was silence on the end of the line and even the voices in my head paused for a moment, frozen with anticipation as I waited for an answer… For the ‘truth’. But I never could have guessed the words that were going to fall from his lips next… I never could have prepared my heart and my back for the knife.

“I'm the father of your wife’s baby,” he announced, pushing me without warning over the edge, deeper into a state of shock and denial.

How can this be…?

Silence absorbed the phone line again and my surroundings seemed to fade out completely, the noise ceasing all around me. Even the voices in my head were stunned into silence. The only thing I could hear was the hollow sound of my irregular, heavy heart beat, echoing in my ears.

“You’re lying!” I eventually accused in a strangled voice that didn’t sound like it belonged to me.

“I’m not. Did it never occur to you that Lisa was pregnant before she started dating you?” Matt asked, forcing me to realise that no, that thought had never even entered my head.

I hesitated, considering whether it could be the truth, as much as I wanted it all to be a lie. A cruel joke.

“Well, she was. She was already two months gone with my baby,” he insisted haughtily, throwing my fragile heart out of sync, until the pain was stronger than the anger I felt.

“Why the fuck would she tell me I’m the father if I’m not?” I choked incredulously, unable to get my head around it.

“That girl is full of lies. She told me that she hates me and loves you, but I think the fact that she slept with me last night and lied to you about this sort of contradicts that statement, don’t you think?” Matt spoke gruffly.

I was officially at a loss for what to think or how to feel. I just wanted to understand why, if what Matt was saying was true, Lisa would lie to me and turn my whole life upside-down like this. How could anyone be that evil?

“Well, I'm off now, just thought you deserved to know what's up,” Matt trailed off nonchalantly, as if everything he had just said to me was no big deal. As if he hadn't just shattered the foundations of the very ground I was standing on.

And then the line went dead, leaving me feeling dead with it.

I wanted to pretend that phone call didn’t just happen… Pretend Matt was the liar, not Lisa. But I couldn’t push it out of my mind, because somewhere deep inside me there was a voice saying Lisa is the liar… Stop being blind. The voice was Jack’s, echoing in my head after all the times he tried to tell me Lisa was a fake.

In that second, it was like I suddenly opened my eyes and realised that my life was an even bigger lie than I had ever imagined. I couldn’t trust this Matt guy completely, because I didn’t even know him… But Jack? I could trust him. It had just taken me until now to realise that I should have trusted him about Lisa from the start… And now that I did trust him, it was too late.

Shaking with anger, I walked away from the busy street I was on towards an empty side-street and looked down at my phone in my clenched fist. No matter how much it broke me or how hard I fell, I needed to hear it from her… I took a deep breath to brace myself and punched in the number for mine and Lisa’s apartment. The dial tone seemed endless; my patience was being tested and it was doing nothing for my erratic state of mind.

Then, finally, the line went silent and I heard rustling on the other end.

“Hello?” my wife greeted me, although she didn’t know it was me she was talking to. She was about to find out though… I’ve got a question…

“Who the fuck is Matt?” I spat out, firing up in anger the second I heard her voice.

“W-what?” she stammered in surprise, before realising that she recognised my voice. “Alex?”

“You heard me,” I growled.

I’m not repeating myself, so answer the fucking question…

“Wha- he’s… no one. He’s no one,“ she spluttered uncertainly.

Wrong answer. The line you walk is getting thin…

“He doesn’t fucking sound like no one!” My shrill voice bounced off the walls of the deserted lane where I was standing in isolation.

“Alex, please calm down,” Lisa whispered, but her plea fell on deaf ears. I had no intention of calming down; my heart was beating too frantically for it to even be physically possible. “I - I don’t know what he’s told you, but give me a chance to explain-”

“I don’t want excuses, I just want the truth,” I snapped short-temperedly.

“What truth?” she asked fearfully.

I didn’t believe her innocence… I believed that she knew exactly what I was talking about. And I was determined to get a straight answer from her.

“Am I or am I not the baby’s father?” I questioned slowly in the calmest voice I could muster, despite how tense I was really feeling.

“Lex, please… Why are you being like this?” she cried timidly, avoiding my simple question.

Jesus Christ!

“ANSWER THE QUESTION!” I exploded, letting my stress get the better of me.

I was breathing sharply to keep up with my hard and fast heart, which was hammering painfully inside my chest. My body was trembling from the nervous tension of the situation as I waited for a reply. I’m all ears…

But there was no reply; silence consumed us entirely for a moment. Never before has silence been more enlightening. She didn’t have to answer now, because the silence had answered my question for her. All that can be heard was her irregular breathing as she cried softly.

“You bitch,” I choked out, trying to fight the tears that were welling up in my own eyes. I didn’t want to fall apart on the outside, like I was on the inside.

“I’m s-so sorry,” she apologised shakily in between sharp intakes of breath.

Well, it’s official; Lisa lied to me. Jack was right all along. And I lost him for nothing but a lie.

“How the fuck could you do this to me?!” My voice sounded strangled and that’s how I felt; my lungs were restricting quickly, narrowing my airways and making it hard for me to breathe.

Was it something I said, something I did, that made you destroy all we'd built?

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, and the sound of her crying more uncontrollably resounded in my head, deafening me.

“I thought you loved me!” I choked out, suddenly unable to stop the tears leaking from my eyes and rolling down my face.

“I do love you!” she cried desperately. “I d-didn’t want to lie to you… I swear, I told Matt the truth, but- But he said he didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby… And I panicked!”

What the fuck kind of excuse is that to lie to me?

“You ruining my life is a result of a moment of panic?” I replied in disbelief, feeling the anger start to rise again inside of me.

“I know I didn’t handle the situation very well-”

“You think?” I interrupted sharply, just about managing to hold back the tears, despite the fact that all my emotions were colliding inside of me.

I was upset; angry; confused; betrayed; but mostly, I was just broken.

“Alex, please, I only did it because I love you! And I know you would be an amazing father… I wanted my baby to have a father!” Lisa explained frantically.

I can’t believe how fucking selfish she is…

“What about me? What about what I fucking wanted?” I shouted, forcing her to think about someone else but herself for once in her life. “I never wanted to be a father! I lost everything I ever wanted because of your lying!”

All I ever wanted was Jack...

“What about me? Don’t you want me?” Lisa spoke tentatively, typically bringing the conversation straight back to herself.

Fuck this shit, time for a brutal reality check...

“No! I never really wanted you,” I revealed darkly, letting the words fall from my mouth like the deadliest of venoms.

I wanted to hurt her like she had hurt me.

“W-what?”

“Are you THAT blind that you couldn’t see that it’s never been you?” I continued spitefully. “It’s always been Jack!”

...And it always will be, even if he has moved on with his life now.

Lisa was silent for a moment while she absorbed this new information that her husband wants his best friend more than his own wife… And always that has been. I knew I had succeeded in hurting her, but I didn’t care. In fact, it actually felt good to finally get the truth out in the open after so long.

Then, suddenly, she spoke again in a small, questioning voice: “You... love Jack?”

She sounded confused, probably wondering how she had not realised this all along. I guess we were both as blind as eachother when it came to the truth… It’s true what they say; love is blind. But she was REALLY fucking blind, it's not like we hid it that well.

“Yes! Always, right from the start!” I admitted shamelessly. “But I gave him up for you… For the baby, despite the amount of times he tried to tell me you were lying! I fucking trusted you!” I yelled resentfully, feeling the tears burning my eyes again. "I broke his heart, for you!"

Fuck, what have I done?

“Why didn’t you just tell me you loved him?” Lisa asked feebly.

"Because I thought you were pregnant with my baby!” For FUCK sake, woman.

That is the only reason. And it turned out all along I was being lied to and taken for a fool. SHIT, I was such a goddamn FOOL.

“I never would have told you I was pregnant if I knew you loved Jack! You told me you didn't, you lied too!” Lisa retorted bitterly.

“Well, you shouldn’t have told me you the baby was mine, regardless of who the fuck I love!” I shouted back, feeling the frustration mounting. I couldn't be assed arguing anymore. I was 100% done with her bullshit.

“Okay, so, we were both in the wrong… We’ve both been lying to eachother...”

What she did to me was far worse than what I did to her; I was trying to keep her from getting hurt by keeping quiet about my feelings for Jack, she was only trying to protect herself with her lie. She wasn't thinking about my feelings at all.

I opened my mouth to voice my thoughts, but I didn’t get a chance to, because she wouldn't stop rambling.

“Please, don’t throw away what we have... We can work this out… Alex? You there?”

She’s returned to pleading with me? Did she not just hear me say I don't want her? Seriously, how can she honestly think we can get past this? The shaky foundations of our relationship were built purely on lies, and the truth has fucking destroyed us.

“There’s still something I don’t understand…” I began slowly, ignoring Lisa’s plea, because it had suddenly hit me that there’s a flaw in her story. Just one more question… ”If Matt really said he wanted nothing to do with the baby, then why are you still in touch with him now?”

He never would have rang me and told me everything if he was happy to sit back and watch me raise his baby.

“Well, he recently changed his mind… He said he wants me back now,” Lisa murmured reluctantly.

I wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth and I would never be sure of that again… But I had lost the will to care anymore; I had given up.

“Well, he’s fucking welcome to you and that baby,” I responded flatly.

Go back with someone else who wants you more than me.

“No, you don't understand! I - I don’t want him, Lex, I want you!” Lisa declared urgently.

Well, you fucking blew it. Last night I know who you were with…

“If you really wanted me, you wouldn’t have fucking slept with him last night, would you?” I snapped heatedly, feeling the betrayal pulsing through my veins.

Why does everyone I love betray me? I will never trust again...

“Please... I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“Course not. Well, when I cheated on you last night I knew full well what I was doing,” I replied coldly, openly revealing any secrets that were still left hidden.

We may as well get it all out in the open… Leave nothing left unspoken, because this will be the last time we ever speak.

“You… cheated on me?” she asked in a small, defeated voice. “With who?”

…Who do you think?!

“Jack."

She had no immediate response to this declaration; all I could hear was her sobbing quietly. But I didn’t even feel guilty for cheating on her anymore… How could I, knowing that she did the same to me?

“Well, we’re even then,” she replied in an ironically uneven voice.

I think the word she’s looking for is 'over', not 'even'.

She had decided to try to fight the knife that I was stabbing her in the back with, instead of just embracing it and breaking down, like I was on the verge of doing.

“I… I forgive you…”

That has got to be a lie. How can she forgive me so easily? I’m definitely not the forgiving type… If someone hurts me this bad, I can hold a grudge forever.

“Well, I don’t forgive you,” I sighed heavily. “I’m done, Lisa.”

I didn’t stay on the phone a second longer to hear her crying and begging me; I pressed the ‘end call’ button without hesitation and let my phone slip from my grasp, falling to the floor and breaking into pieces, just like my last one. Just like me.

I never wanted this to happen. Never wanted to be left with nothing. Lisa and that baby were the only things keeping me sane. They were what I had to live for now that I don't have Jack.

Where the fuck do I go from here?

Notes

I TOLD YOU THIS ALL HAD TO HAPPEN FOR A REASON!!!! I TOLD YOU AL TO WAIT IT OUT!!!! I TOLD YOU IF YOU WANTED JACK AND ALEX TO BE TOGETHER THAT THIS NEEDED TO HAPPEN!! I'VE BEEN PLANING THIS FROM THE STARTS!!!.....now i have no clue what i am going to do next......now all of you.. every single one of you needs to comment... I TOLD YOU!! NOW HERE i can hear the feels rumbling in the distance!!!
Well, the truth's out now... No more secrets... For now >=) ^_-

Song: You Me At Six