POV: Alex

Oh dear God. I cannot sleep in the same bed as Jack! It’s hard enough being in the same ROOM as him. This is just torture! How can I ignore my urges and resist him when he’s lying so close to me? Fuuuck.

I was slowly and silently beginning to panic as I lay in the double bed of the hotel room, right next to Jack (who, might I add, was wearing nothing but boxers… like he’s TRYING to entice me.) I had my back to him, lying on my side with my head pressed against the pillow and my eyes squeezed shut to try and block out my surroundings.

It had already been at least an hour since we turned out the lights and all said goodnight to eachother. Rian was snoring softly in the corner of the room, which told me that was already fast asleep. Next to me, Jack wasn’t snoring, but I knew he was asleep from the way he was mumbling every so often words I could not decipher. Both Jack and Rian were blissfully oblivious to the fact that I was freaking the fuck out.

I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and drift off into a land where I could have a break from constantly battling with myself over my own inappropriate thoughts of Jack. But the voices in my head wouldn’t shut up and it was becoming increasingly difficult to resist temptation taking over my mind…

"You need him... He's your drug... Yours."

No, he's not fucking mine!

It was painfully obvious to me that I was still being controlled by my Goddamn urges towards him. This addiction will continue to haunt me forevermore.

I’m not entirely sure why I couldn’t bring myself to say no to sharing a bed with Jack; it clearly was not a good idea and I knew it wasn't from the start. I’ll just keep telling myself that the reason is that I didn’t want Jack and Rian sharing the bed. Who can blame me for being reluctant to let them share after they went behind my back and kissed? I definitely don’t trust them to sleep together like this.

Yeah, that’s the reason I chose these sleeping arrangements…

It has nothing to do with the fact that my thoughts are blurred from the insanity going on in my head, but what I feel in my heart is clearer than ever, and it still beats for Jack…

Of course it can’t have anything to do with me not wanting to miss my chance to sleep right beside him, which is where I belong and constantly dream of waking up in the morning, opening my eyes and seeing his beautiful face only inches away from mine…

The time on the alarm clock said 11 o'clock. It was an extremely early night for us, because we were all extremely tired. But tired or not, I knew I had no fucking hope of falling asleep yet.

Maybe I should get dressed and go for a walk or something to clear my head...

I heaved a sigh and was just about to throw back the covers and climb out of bed when, suddenly, an orgasmic moan fell from the lips of the man next to me.

My hand froze on the covers and my heart skipped a beat as the sound continued to echo in my ears. Any ideas I had of going for a walk completely disappeared from my mind within seconds and I slowly turned over in the bed to face Jack. I found him lying on his back, breathing heavily and wearing a look of intense pleasure on his face. It didn’t take a genius to tell he was having a sex dream.

I watched him closely, captivated by the soft moaning noises he was making and the way his body was writhing slightly. I was rapidly getting turned on and desperate to join in. I wanted to be the reason he was making those beautiful sounds, but I knew I could never be the one to make him moan that way ever again. We're just friends now and friends do not give eachother that sort of pleasure...

I doubt Jack even still thinks about me in a sexual way. I mean, he has a girlfriend now and-

“Uhhh, Alex,” Jack moaned again loudly in his sleep.

Wha... what was I saying?

Holy fuck. He’s dreaming about me?!

My heart stuttered excitedly inside my chest at the realisation that he was having a sexy dream about me. I thought he said he was over me... He doesn't sound over me right now!

His moaning was getting louder and more frequent and I knew it was only a matter of time before he woke up Rian.

Oh God, I can’t take much more of this… The urges just reached a WHOLE new level.

Before I knew it, the urges and my desperation suddenly got the better of me and I was reaching over to caress Jack’s bare chest under the covers. His chest was hot with sweat beneath my fingers and I could feel his heart beating unusually fast under my touch. My fingers traced blindly over his chest, gradually going lower and lower...

Before I knew it, my hand was hovering directly above the thin material of his boxers where it was all too clear to me how turned on he was and just how badly he needed my attention… Fortunately for him, I was completely willing to give it to him. Just wanna touch you for a minute…

I took a deep breath as I sneakily slipped my hand inside his boxers. I convinced myself half-heartedly that what I was doing was not wrong, because Jack was having a hot dream about me… So, it was almost like it was my duty to get him off. I’m on a mission and it involves some heaving touching.

My fingers were trembling from the intensity of my desire as I loosely wrapped them around Jack’s erection. I bit my bottom lip to hold back a moan and started stroking him slowly. I felt so dirty, but I was fucking loving it.

His heavy moaning and breathing suddenly changed pattern; he went completely silent for a second, as his breath seemed to catch in his throat. Then, he suddenly started stirring, falling back into a disorientated reality.

Fuck. I didn't mean to wake him... But then, who the fuck sleeps through a handjob?

This time my breath got caught in my throat in anticipation to see how he would react to this unexpected sexual encounter.

“Wha-?” He made a small, questioning noise, before moaning slightly.

My hand froze instantly, reluctant to stop touching him, but equally reluctant to keep moving in case he didn't want me to.

“I- I’m sorry…” I stammered, eyes fixed on his face.

He finally opened his eyes and squinted through the dark, searching for me.

“Alex?” He croaked, sounding sleepy and confused. “W-what are you doing?”

Shit. What AM I doing?! This is so wrong, holy fuck...

“I just… You- You were moaning my name… I- I couldn’t help myself,” I stammered quickly.

Couldn’t fight the overwhelming urge…

He was quiet for a moment and I realised how fucking awkward this situation was.

“Huh... Shit,” he mumbled flatly.

Another uncomfortable silence followed, because my thoughts seemed frozen, just like my hand. I couldn’t form a one goddamned sentence. And Jack seemed pretty much still half-asleep... But then finally, he sighed slowly and rubbed his eyes, blinking them a couple of times to wake himself up properly. And then, he turned to back to me and our eyes locked through the darkness.

“If you’re gonna jerk me off, can you just do it?” He asked bluntly, taking me by surprise.

You’ve indicated your interest.

My hand was itching to move again, but I was still having doubts. Really, this was NOT my greatest idea.

“Um. Are you sure you want me to?” I questioned uncertainly.

I was expecting him to be a little more angry with me for completely anihilating the 'just friends' rule.

“Alex, I’m too turned on to even care right now. I just dreamt about having sex with you,” he revealed shamelessly, and I was slightly taken aback again by his honesty and attitude of nonchalance. “But you woke me up before it was finished and now I need to get off, like, desperately… Yes, this is fucked up, but either jack me off or move your hand so I can do it myself!”

Man, he sure is grouchy when he’s horny…

I was still in a state of mild shock at Jack’s abrupt declaration that he was having dream-sex with me, but my hand snapped out of its idle state and gradually began to move again, up and down his shaft in smooth motions.

“Well, seeing as I woke you up and deprived you of dream-sex with me, I guess it’s only fair that I make it up to you,” I whispered with a small, arrogant smirk.

Jack didn’t reply, he just sighed softly in pleasure.

I started off quite slow, but Jack was already too far gone to cope with teasing; he wanted the job done properly. He demonstrated this by pushing his boxers down to give me easier access and bucking up into my hand slightly, hinting that he wanted me to speed things up.

But being the bitch that I am, I didn’t go faster. I wanted to stretch it out for as long as I could… It's not like we do this all the time. We should savour the moment.

“So… You know how dreams convey our deepest desires…” I breathed suggestively, my lips so close to his ear he could feel my hot breath. “You must really want to fuck me.” I smirked again in satisfaction, more pleased with this revolution than I should be.

That's right; if Jack can be so casually blunt, so can I.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he groaned in what seemed to be pleasure and frustration mixed together. “Friends don’t do that.”

Well, we’re ‘fucked up friends’, not ‘just friends’. It’s complicated and stupid.

“Friends don’t do this either,” I pointed out, finally increasing the speed of my hand on his dick to reinforce my point.

Jack didn’t have an answer to my statement; he just arched his back slightly and another moan ripped from his throat.

“So… Was I a good fuck?” I continued nonchalantly, causing Jack to look at me with burrowed eyebrows for a second, before his eyes fell shut and he parted his lips letting a soft moan escape.

Do I even need to ask? I heard the noises he was making.

“Oh, uh… Yeah,” he responded slowly, breathing heavily. "Not bad."

"Not bad?" I repeated, arching an eyebrow questioningly and also slowing my hand movements considerably.

"Alright, you were good," Jack whined, lifting his hips off of the bed impatiently, arching up into my hand. "Fucking good."

I smirked smugly, “I always am.” I’m educated in sex.

I kindly resumed to jerking him off at a more satisfying pace, instead of teasing him

“Ugh, cocky motherfucker,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut and chewing on his bottom lip.

I watched him with eyes clouded in lust and I suddenly had a growing urge to attach my lips to his. I want it bad.

When I didn’t say anything for a few moments, he opened his eyes again to look at me through heavy eyelids and I found myself suddenly being pulled in as if by a magnetic force straight to his lips. But as I leaned in to kiss him, his eyes widened slightly and he turned his head to the side sharply.

“No... No kisses,” he mumbled feebly. “They’re too intimate… We can't.”

Oh, and my hand on his dick isn't too intimate?!

I wasn’t expecting him to deny my kiss, because he’s never been able to before. I was shocked and disappointed, but I knew that he was right. Kisses are too personal. I fall for him harder every time our lips collide.

I guess if we’re going to do this, we should have some kind of rules… Let’s play a love game.

“Okay, no kisses,” I repeated, failing to hide the discontent in my voice. My urge was undefeated and the void inside me was incomplete.

Fuck. I wanna kiss you, but if I do then I might miss you, babe.

"Do kisses on the neck count?” I wondered aloud in a hoarse voice, asking for his permission to kiss him there instead.

He said nothing; he tried to sigh but it just came out as a moan.

Then, suddenly, he turned back to face me and just put a hand on the back of my head, pulling me in closer, guiding my lips towards his neck.

He's always been a whore for neck kisses.

I attached my deprived lips to his neck immediately, going straight for his sensitive spot and attacking it with kisses. My hand increased the speed of its expert wrist actions on his dick and he responded by moaning in satisfaction and tugging lightly at my hair.

I went lower, kissing a line along his collarbone. This lasted a few seconds before I felt him becoming increasingly restless, writhing underneath my touch and cursing non-stop. I knew he was getting close and I wanted to see his face when he finished, so I managed to tear my lips away from him and pull back to look him in the eye.

The intense look of desire in my eye seemed to push him over the edge. The eye contact was broken as he squeezed his shut again and his mouth fell open into a perfect 'o' shape.

“Ugh, fuck… Motherfucker...” he panted in between loud moans. “Alex.”

Hearing him moan my name gave me endless satisfaction. I kept my hand firmly wrapped around his length, pumping slowly to let him ride out his orgasm, and I brought my other hand up to press my finger against his lips in an attempt to make him quieter. I swear, his noises were loud enough to wake up the entire hotel, let alone Rian who was asleep only a few metres away.

After several seconds, he finally stopped moaning and just continued breathing heavily, so I decided it was fine to remove both of my hands and collapse onto my back, lying flat in the bed beside him, exhaling in content.

Mission to get Jack off? Definitely accomplished.

“Fuck, that was good,” he murmured in a hoarse voice, reaching down to pull up his boxers. “But it kinda defeats the object of us being ‘just friends’."

I knew just how he was feeling; shamefully satisfied and guilty as fuck… I understood completely, because I felt the same. It was so wrong of me to be all over him like that, but I couldn’t help myself, and he didn’t try to stop me… So, it happened.

I watched Jack as he ran his fingers through his hair absent-mindedly, listening to his breathing gradually returning to a slower pace.

“Well, let’s be honest; I don’t think we’ll ever be ‘just friends’. But we can try to keep pretending, if that’s what you want...?” I offered, even though I knew we didn’t really have a choice... We simply can’t be together, because I’m married now and he’s with Jade.

Everything was suddenly silent in the room, except for Rian’s quiet snoring. (I’ll never know how he managed to sleep through that, but thank God he did… He would have gone fucking mental at both of us if he knew what we were doing!)

Then the temporary silence was broken by Jack declaring with a heavy sigh, “That’s what I want.”

I didn’t know if it was genuinely what he wanted, but I didn’t really want to know either. I decided that in order to pretend that Jack and I were nothing more than friends, I needed to believe he didn’t want to be anything more now.

But then, sometimes we want the things that are not always what is best for us... And this is definitely an example of that. I want Jack more than anything else, but I know that he's no good for me; he taints my self-control and makes me forget my responsibilties in life.

“Okay,” I breathed.

I’ll keep living this masquerade… But how long will it be before this addiction overpowers me?

Notes

I feel like you guys needed this....also i feel like i might take a break from this story, at most 3-4 days. but forget that. i told you it would get better in time. and it only gets better from here, soo like one more 'down fall' ;) then you guys get your wish!! (if you remember what it was ;D) Also the next chapter will be big! i already have like half written but it is like... the rising action. and the next one BOOOOOM THERE GOES THE DYNAMITE!! literally cant wait to see you flip! dontforget to comment, rate and Subscribe
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