*Alex POV*

As Jack and I walked slowly across the fields to get to our destination of the stage area, there was a long silence between us, but it wasn’t awkward… It was thoughtful. I think both of us were secretly thinking about what had just happened between us. (Well, I know I was.)

I just wanted to kiss him off stage for once, away from thejudgmentaleyes of others… I craved his lips on mine. But now I’m feeling confused because the craving has not yet disappeared, like I thought it would as soon as our lips parted. The urge wasn't meant to keep lasting...

I broke away from my thoughts and stole a quick sideways glance at Jack as we walked. He had a vacant expression, like he was deep in thought too. I decided to interrupt his thoughts with mine, and speak for the first time since leaving the bus.

“I don’t want what just happened between us to make things awkward,” I said slowly, looking down and taking a sudden interest in my feet as we walked.

“Huh? Oh, no… It won’t...” Jack replied absent-mindedly, as he snapped out of his trance. He didn't sound convinced of what he was saying, so it wasn’t very reassuring.

Noticing the skeptical look on my face, he quickly added “it’s not like we haven’t kissed before, right?”

“Right. But it’s not like we’ve kissed offstage before either,” I pointed out, trying to sound casual, but also trying to find the reaction I had been expecting from Jack.

Surely he should be freaking out. Do you know what you’ve got into?

“Well, no... We haven't. But, uh, you know. It’s not like it means anything… Is it?” He replied uncertainly, looking at me questioningly.

It means I need to learn to resist my random urges.

“No… Well, not anything serious, you know?” I reassured him quickly.

He didn’t look reassured though. He actually looked a little… disappointed. Or maybe I’m just imagining things.

He didn’t say anything else and I decided the conversation had suddenly turned too serious for my liking, so I spoke again.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to save my urges for the stage from now on,” I told him with a slight smirk, pausing before adding “I’m not promising anything, mind.”

Seriously… I’m not. I don’t know how to control these urges yet.

“I think you need help," he snorted, shaking his head.

I could tell he was only kidding, but the funny thing is, I think I actually do need help; I need to learn how to deal with my urges instead of letting them take over my mind.

I had a sudden flashback to a few years ago when Jack told me when I was getting clean and sober that he would help me overcome whatever I needed help with.

But it’s different with this; he’s the one I suddenly need to control myself around, not the alcohol. It’s almost like he is the drug in my life now… But what happens if I overuse him?

This is so much more complicated.

“Well, there’s the crowd,” Jack said suddenly, nodding towards the massive field in front of us where thousands of people were gathered in front of a vast stage.

“And there’s the guys,” I concluded, looking over to the side stairs at the side of the stage, where Rian, Zack and Robbie were gathered around talking.

“Let’s get this kick-ass show on the road!”

***

All in all, the show was awesome. The crowd were energetic and so were we.

Of course I was like a magnet to Jack onstage, and he didn't protest to me taking advantage of him at all.Baby, I’m in control. I sometimes wonder why he doesn't just tell me to fuck off when I'm all over him. Maybe he thinks I'd be offended... I wouldn't, though. In fact, it would probably make things a hell of a lot easier for me if he just said "no, Alex", because I would have an incentive to stop.

We were half-way through ‘Walk Of Shame’ and I was in the dangerous mood for some more mouth-to-mouth contact, so I went straight up to Jack and planted a kiss directly on his lips once again. But this kiss was much more heated than the previous one and I found myself getting far too into it… Before I realized the kiss had evolved into a full-on make out session in the middle of the stage. Jack even stopped playing guitar and grabbed my hair
Inside me, a fire started.

After a few blissful seconds, I somehow found the strength to pull away from him, only because I figured the song might need some words and rhythm guitar to it.

But then, no more than two songs later we were playing ‘Poppin’ and I strutted over to Jack and slid my hand under his top teasingly. Judging from the way he threw his head back and his mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ shape, my hand was cold against his sweaty chest. But he liked it.

I’m about to turn up the heat…

I took my hand out from down his top and trailed it lower until it was behind his guitar… Right on his crotch. I must have caught him off-guard because he actually messed up his guitar part. I have completely abandon my guitar at this point.

While my hand was on his package, he looked me in the eye desperately. I knew he was completely at my mercy and I got off on that; there’s nothing better than being the one in control of a situation. I smiled at him mischievously, eventually removing my hand from the position in which it was slowly torturing him.Let me entertain till you scream.

I’m such a fucking tease.

Notes

Credit for title and lyrics: Adam Lambert