POV Jack

“I love you, Jack.”

His words were circling round and round in my mind, completely taking over my thoughts… Taking overme.It just won’t go away.My heart raced rapidly in my chest, lifting with my hopes and dreams.

"Did you just... Oh my God," I stumbled over my words in my state of shock, getting up off the floor slowly.

My eyes were wide and fixed on Alex, impatiently awaiting his confirmation that he had just told me he loved me, because part of me was kind of convinced I had imagined it. (It wouldn't be the first time I'd dreamed it...)

But the way Alex's eyes widened too and he suddenly started rambling told me this time it wasn't my imagination.

"Shit, I- I didn't mean-" He quickly pulled up his pants and jumped to his feet, looking panicked. "Oh man."

I furrowed my eyebrows slightly, unsure what he was getting at.

"You didn't mean to tell me, or you didn't actually mean it...?" I tried to clarify, holding my breath naturally with the building suspense.

He hesitated, and I still didn't breathe. Then, he suddenly opened his mouth, like he was about to give me the answer that would either make me or break me... But then his phone started ringing again, breaking the high tension and making us both jump a mile in the air in surprise.

His head immediately snapped around, searching for the source of the noise that had caused us both a heart attack and ruined the intense moment. He looked lost. Like he didn’t know what to do or what was even going on. His wide eyes scanned the room frantically, before they finally settled on his phone lying on the sofa.

“Don’t answer it,” I begged quickly, finding my voice again.

Ignore it; don't ignore me.

I knew who it would be, and I didn't want Alex talking to her and forgetting about me now. I needed to know if he meant what he said… Then I could tell him I felt the same.

He looked from my searching eyes to the ringing phone hesitantly, before sighing and shaking his head, and then leaning down to pick up his phone.

His reaction told me I was right in thinking it was going to beher. My heart dropped as I watched him staring down at the phone impassively, exhaling slowly and running his fingers through his hair.

“Alex,” I spoke pleadingly, bringing his attention back to me.

Why was he even considering talking to her now? ...After what had just happened between us? Surely he wouldn't stand there and talk to his girlfriend in front of me after just confessing he had feelings for me...

“I'm sorry, I- I should probably answer it this time. Like you said, it could be important...”

His voice sounded suggestive and he was looking at me knowingly.

“Oh... Uh, is it Rian then?” I asked uncertainly, trying to act innocent like I hadn't lied to him.

But he narrowed his eyes at me knowingly, and said “You and I both know it was never Rian."

Well, shit. He knows I lied.

“How-” I began, only to be immediately cut off.

“I'm not an idiot, Jack. I saw your reaction,” he spoke flatly.

He didn’t seem angry or annoyed at me. He didn’t seem anything, actually. He seemed... indifferent about it. But I still found myself apologizing, out of guilt.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it was her, I just-”

“I know. I get it. We were both caught up in the moment,” Alex sighed.

…He doesn’t get it at all.

I wanted him all to myself. I wanted Lisa to get the fuck out of the picture. There was no room for her in Alex and mine's relationship.

I swallowed nervously before asking tentatively; "Is that why you said you loved me?”

Was he just “caught up in the moment”? Was it only a throwaway comment in a moment of ecstasy?

Please don't let it be.

Alex hesitated again, furrowing his eyebrows like he was actually thinking hard about it. Then, he dropped his gaze to the floor and mumbled "yes", before quickly lifting the phone to his ear.

To you, this means nothing. Nothing at all.

My eyes could not disguise the pain inside, but Alex even see the effect his answer had on me, because he abruptly turned his back on me.

It seems like my world’s falling apart…

Alex POV

A lie is never just a lie. There's always a story behind every one that slips from the mouths of deceitful people. A reason. A use. A fear. Sometimes people lie because they’re afraid of the truth... They have too much to lose by succumbing to it. Sometimes people lie because it’s their natural reaction to confrontation... They've built a wall inside to protect themselves from getting hurt by others.

Maybe there's no real justification for lying, but that doesn't mean a lie ever goes without purpose.

I should know; I just lied is to cover up my mistake.

“Hey. What’s up?” My voice was strained. It sounded forced, and it was. I was inwardly freaking out about what just went down between Jack and I.

“I… I have something to tell you,” Lisa greeted me in a worried voice.

Hearing her voice made the guilt suddenly flood through me like a polluted river. I had just cheated on her, after all.

“Yeah?” I urged curiously.

There was silence on her end, but I heard someone sigh right behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see Jack staring straight at me. I actually almost forgot he was here. (Lisa certainly lives up to her purpose of being the perfect distraction...)

I’ve always taken comfort in Jack’s bright eyes, but I didn’t feel comforted when I held his gaze this time; the light was gone... It had been replaced by darkness. For the first time ever I felt slightly repelled by his eyes, not immediately drawn in.

I knew that I had hurt him.

Why is everything so hard?

He looked awkward. As he stood there I could almost hear him silently asking himself, "should I stay or should I go?"

“Please don’t go,”a small voice whimpered in the back of my mind.

I need to hold onto you… I just can’t let you go.

“Lisa, what’s going on?” I questioned impatiently, shaking away my distant thoughts.

I wished she would just spit out whatever it is she needed to tell me, because I didn’t even fucking care.

“Alex, I love you…” She began slowly, clearly just building up to the main reason for calling.

Okay, why does this sound like she is breaking up with me?

“Uh, yeah, I love you too,” I replied automatically.

I found myself staring into Jack’s eyes as I told Lisa I loved her. As I stabbed him in the back...

Guilt washed over me again at the unmistakable hurt that was written all over his beautiful face. I wished he knewhe was the one I was really saying it to… The only one I actually meant it to. But of course he didn’t know the truth, because as we have established, I am a liar.

He suddenly turned his back on me and started walking away. I wanted to call him back, because it hurt so much to watch him leave like this. I wanted him to know I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t love him… And I don’t love Lisa… I never did.I don’t know what I should do now.

“Lisa, I-“

I found myself trying to blurt out excuses to Lisa so I could hang up and talk to Jack, who was now only steps away from the door. But she suddenly cut me off with a statement I wasn't quite prepared to hear.

“Alex, I’m pregnant.”

I never could have seen this coming…

Panic levels inside of me kicked into overdrive as Lisa’s unexpected words echoed loudly in my ears, almost drowning out the sound of the door slamming shut behind Jack.Almost.

In a perfect world this would never happen...

Notes

well, fuck... what have we got here..................... well shit.....