Sing It Out

Jack's POV:
I run into the practice hall and see that all the doors are closed and hear music coming from each room. Fuck. I really need to practice, I still haven't touched my guitar, I haven't even gotten it out of its case since that night. I walk down the hall and looked in the small windows for each room, people practicing in each one. I hear a piano playing in the final room at the end of the hall, whoever is playing it is amazing. I reach the door and slowly open it, seeing Cassadee playing with a concentrated face. She stops and glares at me, "sorry. Um, your really good." I close the door and I hear her play again. She's really good, I wonder what she sounds like when she sings. I hear my phone go off and I pull it out of my pocket. 'party tonight in the west wing teachers and guards not there tonight'. Its a text from Alex, we recently exchanged numbers. 'ok, i'm in'. 'awesome'.
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Me and Zack make our way into the west wing of the school, Alex is right, no guards and teachers. Music is blasting from a unknown source, people are drinking and dancing. Some people are dancing more professional then others, I'm guessing their the dance students. "Rian!!," I yell over the music and he looks up. He walks over and him and Zack high five. "Haven't seen you around lately man." "Yeah I been busy." "Like always." "So how is this party happening? How did people know there won't be any teachers and guards?" "This wing is completely empty, only a few classes here. So their all less worried about this area. The other places are more guarded." "Dude, I heard Cassadee play earlier in the piano practice room." Rian sighs and looks down, "was she amazing." "Yeah." "I wish I could have heard it." Zack laughs and pats his shoulder, "you been crushing on her way to long."

"Didn't think you would make it," I hear Alex laugh behind me and we wraps a arm around my shoulders. I smile at him, "well I'm here." "Well I didn't know if you were a party guy." Alex's breath smells of alcohol. "I thought we weren't allowed to drink." "Not if you don't get caught." "You don't drink Jack?" I shake my head, pulling down my sleeves a bit. Alex looks down at my arms and he stays quiet for a bit. I take a step back from him and run my hand through my hair. "Well you don't need to drink to have a good time, lets dance!!"
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Tears are streaming down my face, I try to run as fast as I can back to my room. Your a dick. Your here having fun and making new friends, this is something that May is supposed to do as well. Not just you. Your so selfish. Only a hour into the party and the voice came up, I had to tell Zack that I wasn't feeling well and ran off before he could answer. I finally reach my room and struggle with the key a bit and then I finally unlock the door and run inside. I slam the door to close and quickly grab the box holding my razors. Your so fucking selfish. May deserved to live not you. I open the box and quickly grab a razor and drop the box on the floor. I lift my sleeve up, staring at the rest of my scars. FUCKING DO IT. I let out a sob and press the razor to my skin.

My door slams open, "JACK DON'T DO IT!!" He wraps his arms around me tightly and I start sobbing, dropping the razor to the floor. I drop to the floor and he drops with me, holding me to him. I hold his shirt and bury my face into his chest, closing my eyes. He rubs my back and doesn't say a word. I slowly stop crying and he lets me sit up, I look at him and stare in shock at Alex. He looks at me worried, "Why are you staring at me like that Jack?" "H-Why why are you here." "Jack, I want you to see something." Alex lets go of me and pulls up his sleeves, revealing white scars that covered his wrists and lower arms. I quickly grab his arms and stare at the scars. "Few years ago I was cutting, memories from my past had taken over again and I was scared." "What were the memories?" "I don't wanna say right now. But I had a feeling you were hiding scars since day one because I saw you wearing a hoodie on a really hot day and you kept pulling down the sleeves like you were hiding your wrists. I been paying attention since then and kept noticing you always did that with your long sleeves. You did the same thing I did."

I stare at him shocked, I never thought that Alex would cut. "When Zack told me that you weren't feeling good and ran off, I knew something was up because you were fine an hour ago. And you didn't drink." I let go of his arms and look down. He grabs my wrists and stares at them, tracing some with his finger tips. "Why did you follow me Alex." "Because I wasn't about to let you make the same mistake that I made."
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"Will you one day tell me why did you cut." "I don't know, I never told anyone. People know I have scars, you seen me wear t-shirts and tank tops. But I know people see my scars and just keep it to themselves. I think its because people are shocked that I even have scars." "Does Lisa know?" "No, she doesn't." "But she's your girlfriend." "Yeah you think I would tell her, but part of thinks she won't understand." "Why?" "I don't know, maybe its because she never actually felt lost and weak in her life." "That's a little harsh, isn't it?" "I don't know," Alex sighs. "Recently I been wondering why I'm with her." "Why are you with her, you seem annoyed whenever she's around." "She's always around, she acts like if she doesn't see me that I'll leave her for someone else." "Does she know your with me?" "Yeah, I told her I was going to see if you were okay." "...Are you thinking of breaking up with her?" "... Yeah. I think I am." We both go quiet and I look down at the floor.

"Why?" "I'm just tired of being with someone who doesn't get me. She thinks she does, but she really doesn't. I rather be with someone who does." "Well I get you. Finally." "Why you say that?" "I never got to know you until earlier this week. We been here for two weeks now." "That's because of Lisa holding me back." "When are you going to break up with her?" Alex shrugs, "don't know. I just know I'm tired of being with her." I hear my alarm and look at the time, my alarm goes off every hour with a light beep. "Three a m, we should get some sleep." "Yeah. We should. We get up off the floor and I walk him out of the room. "Jack, I want you to promise me that you'll try not to cut anymore." "I don't know if I can." "I know you can. I know there's a voice in your head telling you to cut, and the only way it goes away is when you do cut. I want you to fight back and find something else that will make the voice go away." "How do you know I have a voice in my head." "Because I had one to." Alex walks off and I close the door. I stare at the razors on the floor and I pick them up, laying them in my palm.

I close my eyes and try to picture May, I picture her eyes, her warm smile. She wouldn't want me to cut. I open my eyes and drop them into the trash can.

Notes