Sing It Out

Jack's POV:
How can you be having fun. Shut up, leave me alone. Your here and having fun, while your sister is dead. Leave me the fuck alone. She's dead, while your living. Its your fault she's dead. "I said leave me alone!!," I yell and hold my head. I curl up on my bed and close my eyes. That voice has been in my head ever since that night happened. It yells at me when I'm starting to enjoy myself, reminding me that May is dead and that its my fault. "I'm not gonna listen to you... I'm not gonna listen to you..." Good thing Zack is gone right now, he usually just goes off on his own. You know there's only one way to get rid of me. "I'm not cutting.... I need to stop..." You made a promise to her that would feel the same pain that she felt. Your breaking that promise. "May wouldn't want me to cut..." She hates you. I open my eyes and I feel tears run down my face. "No she doesn't." She could have lived longer. She could have gone to college. But you ruined that for her. "SHUT UP!!" I get off my bed and I find myself holding the small box that held the razors.

My heart beat picks up, I hear the voice laughing at me, because it knows it won. I slowly open it, the light bounces off the shiny razors. I start to pick one up and I hear the door open. I quickly close the box and set it back down on my desk. "What are you doing?," Zack asks confused. "Um, nothing." Zack rolls his eyes and drops his backpack down. "I'm sorry, but did I do something?" "Look, its nothing against you. Its just that I need to work harder then some of the other people here." "What do you mean?" "I'm on a scholarship, and if I don't work hard enough I don't get it again. Most of the people here are rich and can have their parents afford it." "Trust me, I'm not rich. My dad runs a car shop and my mom is a waitress. I had to get a scholarship to." "I should of known why they put us together as roommates." "Why?" "They always put the scholarship kids together. Sorry that I been rude." "Hey, its fine. I almost didn't come." "Why?" "Dad. Me, my mom, and my uncle had to tell him I'm staying with my uncle this summer in Vegas."

"Is your dad strict?" "Yeah, he wanted me to stay in Towson." "Towson, hey isn't that near Baltimore?" "Yeah." "You a Ravens fan?" "Course I am." Zack smiles at me, "same." "No way." "Yeah, I have my Ravens gear with me." I laugh a bit, "same." "Hey, maybe you should come with me real quick." "For what?" He pulls out a skateboard, "I have another if you wanna join." "Yeah, sure."
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Zack starts blasting his portable stereo, Blink-182 blasting. "Nice choice in music." "You like Blink?" "Like? More like in love with." Zack starts laughing and starts skateboarding. I get on the skateboard and do some tricks, while singing along to Blink. "Hey nice choice!," I hear someone yell over the music. I look up at the person and trip over my own feet and land on my stomach. Alex runs over, "hey you okay?" "Yeah. I just tripped." I get up and look around for the skateboard. "Its over-" "ZACK WATCH OUT!" Zack runs right into the skateboard but he manages to stay on his feet unlike me. I shake my hair a bit and look at Alex. "I was just saying nice choice in music." "You like Blink?" "Their my gods," Alex grins and I start laughing. "Same." "So are you here in scholarship?" "Yeah, why?" "Just wondering, since you room with Zack." "Are you on scholarship?" "No, my parents are some of the partners for the school." "So you basically go here for free." "Kind of," Alex shrugs. "I just hate it sometimes because I know there's some kids who can't come because they couldn't get a scholarship and can't afford it on their own. And they might be really good, since they got in."

"That was almost my problem, I didn't get told I have a scholarship before I had to leave." "Shit man." "Yeah, and my mom had the check written already. Thanks to my uncle helping out." Alex runs a hand through his hair and sticks his hands in his pockets. "I was wondering if you were free sometime, that if you could hang out." "Yeah, sure." "Awesome." "Alex!," I hear a girl yell. I look over and see Lisa waving. "Gotta go, see you around." Alex walks off and gets to Lisa, she quickly holds his hand and they walk off. "Lisa is so protective of Alex," I hear Zack scuff. "What?" "She acts like Alex is going to leave her, even when it comes to guys." "Guys?" "Alex is bi. And Lisa is well aware of this." I watch them walk off, "he seems just be annoyed by her." "I don't blame him. They been dating since their second year here." "Damn." "Yeah." "Hey, do you know a guy named Rian." "Rian... Wait the one who's always playing with his drumsticks." "Yeah, him." "Yeah." "He told me about them to, its like everyone knows about them." "Welcome to L.A. man, everyone knows about your business here."

"Hey... Thanks for inviting me to skate." "No problem." Zack skates off and I look down at my wrists that are covered by my long sleeves. "Thanks for stopping me from cutting...," I whisper.

Notes