I lay in the bed, my fingers trembling. What the hell is wrong with Alex?

Trying to pull that ‘We should hang out tomorrow’ crap. I’m trying to keep him happy. I’m a freaking time bomb set into motion. One wrong move and I explode.

And to make matters worse, he wouldn’t leave. Less than five inches away from me is Alex, snoring ever so lightly in my ear. He said he was afraid that I would kill myself, so he stayed over to make sure it didn’t happen.

It felt weird and not because of my little difibler that kept me breathing at night, but because his warmth kept my warm, despite I’m already in four different blankets.

These blanket never kept me as warm as Alex’s warmth does. And although this is so awkward and weird, it felt……at home.

Alex played around with our laced fingers as we lay tangled between the sheets. I had a prominent blush on my face a I would laugh at whatever stupid joke Alex made because love made me like this.

I’m in love with Alex and I just can’t picture my life without him.

“I think I’m falling head over heels for you.” He whispered in my ear. “It’s weird because we used to be best friends.” He began kissing behind my ear, his hands moved from mine to holding my waist.

I close my eyes waiting for the rest to come, but it never did. Instead he focused his attention back on the ceiling, a smirk playing its way on his lips. He did the same thing earlier and it did nothing but made me more frustrated than I already was. So with I huff, I gave up.

Snuggling up to the blanket, I rolled further onto my side away from Alex. I was cold and probably would be 100 percent comfier if I just turned and cuddled with Alex, but he doesn't get that after earlier. I'm too sexually frustrated.

"Maria," he noticed, rolling onto his side so he was facing my back. His fingers trailed up my arm, leaving goosebumps.

"I'm sleeping, shh."

"No you're not," his hand ran down my arm again, trailing over my fingers. Then they moved down to dance around the little bit of skin that was exposed because my shirt rose up, making pleasureful shivers come over me.

I whimpered, "I'm still mad at you..."

His throaty chuckle was deep in my ear, "I bet I can change that.."

I felt his body press up against my back, lips going down to lightly place a kiss under my ear, then suck and bite his way down to the soft spot on my neck while his hand slid under the waistband of my pants. My eyes fluttered close and I bit my lip right after the second whimper came out. "Lex..."

"Sh, baby, gotta stay quiet," his breath was hot on my neck, reminding me that the rest of his family were sleeping. "Let me make you feel good." I nodded, hand clasping around his bicep as his found his way to my panties. He rubbed on the outside of the fabric, making me gasp, gnawing on my lip to hold the noises inside. "So wet.." He growled into my ear, his voice only making it worse.

"Alex.. No teasing, please," I was breathing hard, having a hard time to focus on how to do so when all I could about was Alex's hand. Thankfully he listened to me, sliding his hands under the fabric, running his fingers slowly up and down my slit. A growl was playing at my throat and I did as much as I could to hold it back, but it slipped out with a gasp when Alex grabbed my hips and moved me so I was on my back and he was hovering over me. His lips moved down my jaw, neck, and collar bone until he looked dead into my eyes as he sunk lower on me.

He didn't break the eye contact as his fingers hooked onto my shorts and panties and started hiking them down, pulling them off my feet and tossing them in the corner of the room. His warm hands ran up and down my legs while he leaned up to attach his mouth onto each thigh one at a time. My whole body and mind were infested with him and his touch was electric on my body.

And then before I knew it, his head was between my begs, breath hot on my core. My body was trembling with anticipation and I pressed my head back into the pillow, squeezing my eyes shut while my hand found his hair, tugging on it to get my message across. I heard his chuckle right before my gasp and moan interrupted him when he latched onto me, sucking hard.

I arched my back and lifted my hips, wanting more.

My hand was tangled in his hair, tugging, making him growl against my core, sending a vibration through me. I was panting because I had to try and hold my breath each time I felt the need to scream. Especially when Alex's tongue darted out and started moving in little circles.

He kept this up and made new motions against my sensitive nub, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. My whole body was tingling with a magical sensation, but then I was burning hot when Alex took one of his hands that were holding my thighs spread apart and slid one of his long, slender fingers inside of me.

"Oh God.." I moaned lightly, feeling his finger pump inside of me while his tongue still worked. My breath caught in my throat as he added a second finger, pushing them in deeper. He looked up at me as his tongue danced over me; giving me a look that drove me wild. "Alex!" My body was shaking and I couldn't help but let my hands get tangled in his hair. Alex placed his other hand on my lower stomach to hold me down, working faster with his fingers and hands.

I was panting and to Alex's obvious satisfaction; squirming underneath him. I felt a thin layer of sweat on my forehead and my toes were curling. I needed a release. Now. “Cum for me baby,” Alex whispered against my skin. His deep voice sent shivers down my body. I tilted my head back, feeling as if I was going to explode. “It’s okay, let it go.”

My chest rumbled as my screams were silenced when I turned my head and buried it in the pillow. My body quivered and shook hard as my orgasm hit me. Alex didn't stop, just held me down tighter while he continued. When I was finished and panting from how exhausted I was, but feeling amazing, Alex pulled his fingers out of me and licked them off. I whimpered at how hot he was, reaching my arms out for him as he kissed the inside of my thigh lightly and crawled back up to my level. "Was that good, babe?" He asked as he kissed my neck.

I ran my hands on his back, holding onto him. "Mhm.." I smiled, feeling so much better.

"Are you still mad at me?" He left one last kiss on my neck before bringing his head up to look at me, smiling, too.

"Hm... No," I giggled as he leaned down to connect his lips with mine, both of us sighing into the kiss. I could taste myself on him. "I love you," I breathed against his mouth.

"I love you," Alex whispered

He moved so he was now at my side again, and this time I immediately curled right up into his chest. One of his hands moved to rest on my stomach, his thumb rubbing across my skin. I let my eyes flutter close as I listened to his heart beat that had become my favorite sound in the world. I let my mind wander, thinking about the past, but then smiling when I thought about what the future might hold with Alex….

I sat straight up from the bed and wiped the sweat from my face. I looked over to my left and saw Alex didn’t move an inch, but I couldn’t take this. Alex holds too many memories, majority of them being sexual and I can’t afford to have another orgasm, especially with him less than five inches away.

I breathed in and out for a little, letting the machine get the extra oxygen in my lungs before I pass out.

I got up and unhook myself from the difibler and tiptoed to the bathroom, shutting the door ever so lightly.

I put my hands on the counter and breathe in and out on my own as best as I could (which wasn’t much). I stared at my reflection.

On the outside I look normal. Normal size teeth, normal size hair. Normal. But on the inside I was anything but. My lungs are a bathtub and the tumor is the plug, keeping the water in. Heaven forbids the tumor spreads.

But what if it does? Do I want to die and hot have the chance to be with Alex one last time?Even if he is putting the offer on the table?

I’m going to hang out with Alex and I’m going to be happy.

I’m also going to put myself back on the difibler because I can feel myself getting fainter by the minute.

But just to play things safe, I’m also going sleep on the couch.

Notes