All My Life I've Been Searching For Something

"Jack?" I piped up. He was sat on one end of my bed and I was sat on the other.

"Yeah?"

"What's lebanon like?"

"Uhh..its alright I guess. Not too different to here I don't think"

"Oh. Well...tell me about your family then?" I heard him move to sit further back on my bed, leaning against the wall. I lay down, lying my head in his lap as he began speaking. He toyed with my hair mindlessly and I closed my eyes.

"Well..at home, there's just me, my mum, my dad, my big sister and my little brother. My dad works as the manager sort of thing of a construction company (there's a lot of construction work in lebanon) and my mum works as a kindergarten teacher in the mornings and then stays home in the afternoons which is when she cleans and cooks tea and looks after my little brother. My grandma comes over in the mornings to look after him - he's only a baby. Uhh..my big sister has moved away now; she managed to get a really good job somehow, she's a PA for the CEO of a massive lebanese trading company so she's pretty well paid...that's it really. I don't have much else to tell you. So anyway, what's it like here?"

"Oooh. Was it that hard for you to answer too?" I winced.

"Yep" he laughed.

"I don't even know where to begin"

"Its cool, I was just kidding. That's why I'm here, right?"

"Yeah, true. Hey who are you actually staying with?"

"Uhh..some dude called...jeremy mckinnon or something"

"Oh. How come you're hanging out with us then?"

"I was only in like 1 of his lessons and the head said I needed an escort sorta thing so she got Rian. Plus that mckinnon dude is a bit of a douchebag. Can't take a joke. I called him jeremy mc-klingon, y'know, like in star trek. I thought it was funny but the feeling wasn't mutual. He hates me now" Jack laughed and I couldn't help but laugh with him.

"Wanna stay with me?"

"Sure! I mean, only if your parents are okay with it"

"They will be, its cool"

"Shouldn't you like..check with them first?"

"Nah, they'll be fine"

"Woah. I'd never do that"

"What?"

"Just make a decision like that and assume they were okay with it"

"Why not?"

"I dunno, in lebanon we're kinda raised to have a shitload of respect for our parents. Doing that would show disrespect. Just wouldn't do it"

"Oh. They seriously won't mind though. They both work random shifts so whenever they're not at work they're usually sleeping most of the time so it won't really make a difference to them whether you're staying or not"

"I thought you said your mum works 9-5"

"Yeah, today she does. She'll be on night shifts in a few days"

"Oh right. So what about meal times? How does that work?"

"What do you mean?"

"How do you all sit down and have a meal together if your parents are either at work or asleep?"

"We don't. Most days I eat by myself"

"Really?!"

"Um...yeah?"

"That's so fucking weird"

"No its not?" I laughed.

"Shut up yes it is! In lebanon, its really weird to eat by yourself like what the fuck. You'd think someone was crazy. I wouldn't go near someone who was eating by themselves"

"Shit, really?"

"Okay so that last bit was an exaggeration but it's still considered strange. Wrong, even"

"Weird"

"Mhmm" he returned to playing with my hair.

"So what are we?"

"I dunno, honestly. I mean..its different with you than it is with Zack. There are no butterflies or anything with Zack, no feelings. Just fun, y'know? But you, you make me all tingly and I get this fuzzy feeling inside and jesus fucking christ its only been an hour and I already don't want to lose you and you're important to me now..I don't know whether I like you yet but..you're addictive to me"

"You're addictive to me too" he leaned down to kiss me.

"So..are you gonna end things with Zack?"

"I think so"

"Good. You're mine now. Not officially labelled, but still mine"

"Mm"

"We should go on a date"

"Now?"

"Nah, on friday. A date where you look forward to it all week, smiling when you think about it and you stress about what to wear and enlist Cass' help even though I tell you that, if I could see you, you'd look beautiful no matter what you're wearing"

"So you're a romantic, huh?"

"Absolutely"

"Okay so..whaddya wanna do on our date?"

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it. I've got it sorted" he ruffled my hair making me swat his hands away. He chuckled and grabbed my hands in his, kissing them softly. I smiled and sat up, pressing my lips to his before getting up and letting out a contented sigh.

"Are you hungry? I was just gonna go make some cheese on toast if you want some?"

"Sure, I'll come with you"

"Nah, its cool, you can stay here and just chill. Explore my room or listen to music or something"

"Are you sure?"

"Mhmm. If you come with me I'll just get distracted and end up burning them and then my mum will be mad at the smell when she gets home so"

"Okay" he laughed.

"Make yourself at home" I told him before going downstairs, almost squealing when I nearly fell down the stairs due to realising that this was his home for the next few weeks.


Whilst I waited for the grill to heat up, I got my phone out of my pocket, deciding to call Zack. I thought hard about what I was going to say but nothing sounded right. I remembered that he'd be in class anyway so put my phone back in my pocket, glad to have gotten out of it. For now anyway.

Notes

wow has it really been 19 days since I last updated? *hides away* sorRY