Best Thing In Town

The silence in the apartment was killing me. My forehead was burning from Alex's lips. My eyes were stinging from my pathetic tears and my throat was burning from my shouting. I was a mess.

There was only one way to solve this. The way every real woman solved her problems; because really it was the only way to get everything out of your system without physically hurting someone or shouting abuse.

I crawled back out of my bedroom an ignored Alex who was sat on my couch; he really wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t going to leave. I grabbed a bottle of red wine from the fridge, wine that was supposed to go with the meal I’d slaved over all day – but I grabbed that too, if no-one else was going to eat it, I would and I wondered off into my room still ignoring the boy. I then placed them down on my bed and to be honest, I felt like I was doing everything in a daze.

The next thing I did was grab The Notebook from my shelf; I put it into the DVD machine and turned the TV on. I may as well kill two birds with one stones here and have a legitimate reason to cry over. I wasn’t a crier, never and I couldn’t work out if I was crying over being embarrassed in front of Alex, Robin dragging up the whole situation, or the way that the two people that meant the most to me had managed to ruin my whole god damn night.

I tried to do something good for once. I’d tried my best to let people into my life, I wanted to welcome Alex into my circle of friends and instead he’d probably never speak to me again because everything was so dysfunctional and I really was the only idiot in the equation. Idiotic for even considering forgiveness, idiotic for thinking I could have a decent friendship with someone of the opposite sex and idiotic for thinking my friends would get a long for my sake.
Having nothing better to do than sob, I took a hug swig straight from the bottle of red wine, who needed a glass? I wasn’t classy. One swig became two and two become three, until the bottle was almost gone… and I was all over the place, for a lightweight drinking wasn’t going to be a good idea.

Soon I was sobbing and not quietly, I was sobbing so loud I had to muffle my face with a pillow which meant I wasn’t able to see the film or Ryan Gosling, resulting in harder sobbing and an almost childlike paddy-fit.

“I hate my life,” I cried loudly throwing the pillow off of my face, I wanted to see the film but I wanted to stop crying, clearly I couldn’t have both and chose the film.

The Notebook was nearing the end and it wasn’t even nine o’clock yet. I was pissed, upset and in the need of a damn good hug but I’m sure I’d managed to lose all of my friends. I sighed and flopped back against my pillow, feeling a fresh batch of tears brewing that was until my phone started maniacally vibrating across my bedside table. Being a little uncoordinated, it took me a while to work out how to answer the device and the text on the screen was too blurry for me to read, I just hoped to god it wasn’t Robin or Freya.

“Hello?” I slurred with a sniff.

“Feel any better?” Alex?

“Alex?” I asked in disbelief “Why are you phoning me from the other room?”

“I’m scared if I come in your room you might shout at me,” he chuckled “are you alright?” the genuine curiosity in his voice brought that horrible batch of tears back up and soon I was crying again, but silently.

Sniff.

Or not.

“No,” I mumbled pathetically. If I was sober, I’d have probably lied and said yes, but a drunken mind speaks a sober heart right? That’s how it goes, or something along those lines.
“Alex why are you still here, you’re supposed to think I’m an idiot and hate me. Why are you so nice?” and the sobbing started, I was a mess and Alex didn’t even bother answering me, instead he tried to soothe me down the line.

“It’s okay Jade,” he tried to soothe.

“I want a hug,” I admitted in reply…

There was a short pause before Alex spoke again “Give me ten seconds tops,” and he put the phone down which made me cry harder because was I really that much of a disgrace he didn’t want to speak to me on the phone anymore? Sorry for having emotions, it’s not my fault-

“GET OUT!” I screamed, literally screamed and threw numerous pillows in the direction of the door as it opened slowly.

“Jade, stop it!” I stopped immediately, that was not a female’s voice I expected. In fact I’m sure that I was just speaking to that voice on the phone moments ago? And I was! Alex slipped in through the door and took a glance at me, he then looked towards the TV and saw The Notebook playing and then he saw the now empty bottle of wine on my bedside table, it was then I remembered he’d been in my apartment the whole time and I shouldn’t really be surprised “Oh Jade,” he sighed. My bottom lip jutted out and my eyes welled up.
“No, no, no don’t cry!” Alex panicked and moved quickly across my room. He sat down on my bed and with no hesitation pulled me into his arms, I didn’t object and grabbed hold of his t-shirt, my fists gripping the material as he soothed me with light a hush and a comfortable sway “Let it out, let it all out.” He whispered.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into the crook of his neck “I am so sorry I told you to get out, you did nothing wrong! I’m such an idiot,”

“You may be drunk, but you’re not an idiot.” Alex chuckled “And don’t even dare say sorry for something you haven’t done,” I pulled away from his body and looked up at him “You’ve gone and smudged your make up,” he smiled sympathetically. His thumb swept underneath my eyes “I don’t know why you wear that crap anyway Jade,” he sighed.

“You think it makes me look ugly?” I pouted, trying not to cry again.

“Oh god no!” he exclaimed in a panic “No, oh Jade no but you don’t need it. You look beautiful with or without it, but it’s hiding you.” He then ran his thumb down my nose and smiled “See you have freckles, I didn’t know that!”

“You’re not supposed to know that!” I gasped and hid my face “Nobody likes my freckles, they say I look twelve.”

“I like your freckles, so screw them!” Alex argued back poking his tongue out. I stared at him and he stared at me, slowly I interlocked my hand with his and he smiled “Do you want to tell me about it now?” he whispered and I nodded.

Like I said, a drunken mind speaks a sober heart.

Alex fell back against my pillows and pulled me down onto his chest, his arm wrapped around my waist and his fingers tangled themselves into my hair, he started working out the knots and generally just played with it. It was relaxing.

“I’m sorry it happened,” He whispered “this is why everyone’s so overprotective over you isn’t it? Like Robin and Tony?” I simply nodded.

“You don’t need to be sorry though,” I slurred “Not your fault!”

“No it’s not but I feel like I need to apologise for that pig,” He growled in disgust “what happened?” He questioned like he was walking on broken glass. Cheating was a touchy subject really wasn’t it?

“I thought I was in love,” I scoffed “and you know you get that feeling that everything’s too perfect for it to be true? Well I got that, we all used to live here, Me, Robin, Freya and the Twat.” That was my name for Kellin.

“Freya is known for being a bit of a town bike, but she was my friend you know… I didn’t think that one day I’d come home from work to find her fucking the love of my life on our couch! We had to get rid of that couch, I had to get rid of the Twat and Robin got rid of Freya. I was a mess for weeks, but Freya was my best friend and she was going through a tough time so we made up and yeah…” I trailed off.

“Three times though Robin said?”

“Yeah…” I mumbled "Kellin let it all out when I left him too. He told me he did it because I was shit in bed and that I could never do anything right by him. He even told me I was ugly and overweight. I think I stopped showering and eating for a week when he said that,” I admitted knowing if I was sober there was no way this conversation would be happening at all.

“He really said that?” Alex asked in disbelief.

“Told all of his friends on Facebook too,” I sighed trying not to let myself cry again.

“I should have hit him,” Alex raged “you are by far the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” his voice was dripping in honestly “and as for over-fucking-weight,” he scoffed “I’ve seen kids with more meat on their bones than you,” his hand tangled itself in my hair again “don’t ever let anything he says upset you.”

“I won’t,” I said honestly squeezing Alex's side lightly.

We stayed silent for a few minutes before Alex cleared his throat “I was cheated on once,” he said quietly. I lifted my head up from his chest and looked straight into his eyes, wanting more “apparently I wasn’t a good enough boyfriend for her,” he rolled his eyes “the silly girl was banging everything with a pulse.”

“I’m sorry,” I frowned. Hey, we had something in common.

“Nothing to be sorry for sweetheart,” he smiled sadly.

“I’m pathetic,” I laughed humorously placing my head back down on Alex's chest “I’ve been so horrible to you Alex,” I frowned and was on the brink of tears again. Alex attempted to shush me, but I ignored him and continued “it’s not fair how I’ve treated you because you’ve got the biggest heart ever and I’m such a fucking piece of stone and I don’t deserve to have someone like you around and you deserve better company than me.” Alex's arms tightened around my drunken waist.

“Jade,” he muttered quietly “don’t say things like that.”

“It’s true though! I just jumped to a conclusion about you, the wrong conclusion! I’ve never met anyone like you and sometimes I get sad when I think about not having you around anymore,” I was not supposed to say anything like that “I think I’m drunk?” I frowned into his t-shirt.

“I think you are too…” he chuckled, his chest vibrated against my ear “Unless someone else has downed that whole bottle of red wine.” He then rubbed my back softly “but thank you, even if you are lying.”

“Red wine is good,” I argued. Alex hummed in agreement “and I’m not lying”.

“Robin and Freya got into a fight after you kicked everyone out,” Alex suddenly said and I sat up quickly… a little too quickly as my head was really light.

“What?” I cried in horror.

“Mhm,” he mumbled “I heard screaming in the hallway and looked outside, Robin launched herself at Freya,” I always told you Robin was dangerous “shouting and screaming for upsetting you and all Freya could do was attempt to laugh. Don’t get me wrong here Jade, but I think Robin is the friend you should care for not Freya, not if this is how she treats you because I hate seeing you like this and I honestly don’t want to have to ever think about you being this upset ever again.” I took my bottom lip between my teeth and slowly placed my head back onto his chest.

“What did I do to deserve a friend like you,” I sighed “I think you can be my new best friend Alex,” drunken mind, drunken mind.

“Really?” he laughed “I don’t know, I’m useless with girly things…”

“That doesn’t matter!” I dismissed “I’m useless with girly things too and I wear clothes that a tramp should wear so that would never be an issue.”

“I like it when you’re drunk,” Alex laughed “you’re a lot more talkative with me.” He admitted.

“I like you when I’m drunk,” I added “but I’m not drunk, shhh!” I sat up and pressed my finger onto Alex's lips. Oh god his lips, they were so soft and plump and pink. I couldn’t find it in me to drag my eyes away from them. I suddenly found myself in a position where I was literally straddling Alex, he didn’t move an inch though and his hands were soon sitting comfortably on my waist “I’m not drunk,” I whispered.

“You are,” he replied.

“Our seventh date was shit,” I admitted with a shrug.

“You planned it!” Alex gasped in mock horror and tapped my nose with his index finger.

“Don’t remind me,” I pouted.

“I’ll make it up to you.” he whispered, but I continued to pout because he shouldn’t have to be making anything up to me “You’re cute when you pout,” he said slowly.

“And you’re just cute,” I responded, somehow my hormones then got the better of me as I leaned down slowly, my lips so close to touching Alex's, so close that I could feel his breath fanning my face and I honestly just wanted nothing more than to give him everything right there and then. But before I had chance to make a move, Alex flipped us over, so fast it took my drunken mind a while to register what the hell was happening.

“No,” he said, his voice strained.

“Please,” I whimpered my eyes never leaving his lips. I could feel his body pressed against my own and it was driving me crazy. I was a damn bad drunk, and he wasn’t helping my situation at all – also, I hadn’t been touched by a boy in months… c’mon!

“No,” he said again “No Jade, I want you to be sober when or if that ever happens,” he said softly “I don’t want you waking up in the morning to regret anything.” He licked his bottom lip “I don’t want to be that person.” He said softly and I completely understood, well done brain you’re getting on the right track again.

“I think you might be perfect,” I whispered sadly.

Alex laughed and rolled himself off of me. He then pulled me against him mumbling something about how drunk I was and how he was never going to let it happen again which was complete bullshit because I love being drunk.

I then sighed and snuggled into Alex's side. “Don’t worry about your friends, it’ll sort itself out.” He whispered as I lay my head back down onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around my body. “Tired?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” I muttered back.

“Go to sleep babe,” he mumbled quietly.

“Don’t leave me,” I pleaded, yes everybody I was one of those drunks.

“I’ll be here in the morning with a gleaming smile and a hand full of painkillers for that stinking hang over you’re going to have,” there was a tone of honesty in his voice which made me smile as he flicked off my bedroom light and slipped us both underneath my quilt.

It’s safe to say I definitely was not going to be cold.

Notes

It's been so long since I updated this, I apologise!