Everything was terrible.

I hated myself for what happened, & I couldn't stop blaming myself. I'm sure Jack was mad at me too, because I lost our baby. But I only had to wait a little less than two weeks.

The phone call between Jack & I three days ago kept replaying in my head; how disheveled Jack sounded. It just wouldn't leave.

Jackie noticed my change in mood, & she tried to comfort me as best she could, but it didn't help much. I loved that she was trying to help, but she wasn't Jack. I wanted Jack & nothing else for the moment. So I'd called my mom & asked her to take her for the weekend, & she gladly did. I hadn't told her that I was pregnant, or that I had a miscarriage, she just thought that I needed a break from her for a couple days.

So when the time came for me to get up & go do something to preoccupy myself, there was a loud & urgent knock at my apartment door. I trudged over to the door, not wanting to buy anything or listen to anyone talk about Jesus. I pulled it open & ran a hand through my hair before realizing that Jack was standing on my doorstep two weeks early.

"Jack," I whispered, & he pulled me into his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck & just let myself go. I sobbed into his chest, & he slowly rubbed my back. It was the little things he did, like this, that made me love him more than I should.

When I calmed down a considerable amount, I pulled away from him, though he laced his fingers through mine to have some physical contact. I lead him inside without a word, closing the door behind him.

"How did you get here so early?" I asked as we entered my small kitchen. I leant against the sink while Jack just stood in front of me.

"I told Matt that you needed me, so he booked me a flight," he said quietly, looking at me. I nodded & bit my lip, trying to keep myself together, but it was so difficult. I met his gaze & smiled, though it was half-hearted.

"I've missed you," I said as I shifted my eyes to the floor. I could feel the tears building, & I couldn't take it anymore. I flung myself at him & pressed my lips to his in a needy kiss. He didn't hesitate to kiss me back as he snaked his arms around my waist.

"I've missed you too," he mumbled against my lips. I kissed him harder before pulling away & looking up at him.

"I'm sorry, Jack. Everything is my fault. I fucked it all up," I said. He pressed a finger against my lips & I went cross-eyed to look at it.

"Shut up. It's not your fault; nothing is. There was nothing you could do, & I'm not mad. You shouldn't be sorry for anything," he said. I nodded & he removed his finger.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" I asked, desperate to change the subject. Jack shook his head & grabbed my hand.

"What I do want is to cuddle with you," he said, & I smiled. He pulled me into my small living room & he sat on the couch. I remained standing for a minute, just looking at him.

"When I called you the other day, I honestly thought you'd hate me," I admitted. Jack shook his head & pulled me down onto his lap.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I don't hate you, Rebecca. I fucking love you," he said quietly.

"I love you too," I murmured. Jack smiled & pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"Now let's cuddle," he said, & I grabbed a blanket from the other side of the couch. I got comfortable & pulled the blanket over us as I rested my head in the crook of Jack's arm. He laced his fingers through mine & kissed my head.

"You're amazing," he whispered. I smiled & closed my eyes, letting myself drift off.

~

I opened my eyes & realized I was alone on the couch. I sat up & rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before looking around the room. The light was on in the kitchen while it was dark in the living room. I looked out the window & saw the beautiful skyline of Baltimore. There were stars in the sky & some clouds to accompany them, making it that much more beautiful.

"Jack!?" I called as I stood up, tossing the blanket away from me. I shuffled to the kitchen & saw that Jack was making food.

"You cook?" I joked, & Jack turned around & approached, bringing me into a hug.

"Yeah I cook. You know that," he said. I grinned & kissed his cheek.

"So what are you making?" I asked as Jack's hands slid from my lower back to my hips.

"Mac 'N Cheese," he said with a cheesy grin.

"Sounds good. Did I sleep all day?" I asked. He nodded as he turned away to check on his food, & I raised my eyebrows.

"I haven't had a good night's sleep like that in a long time," I muttered, & I entered the kitchen fully. I perched myself on a counter Jack wasn't going to use, & I watched him. He turned off my shitty stove, & drained his noodles in the sink before putting them back in the pot. He put butter & milk in it, stirred it, then let it sit so the butter could fully melt.

"So... I have a question," Jack said as he stepped in front me. He placed his hands on my hips, & I quirked an eyebrow.

"And what's that?" I asked. I rested my forehead on his & waited for his question.

"Would you like to give us a second chance?" He asked quietly.

"I think it's third," I said with a smile.

"I'm serious," he muttered, looking away for a second before meeting my eyes again. I pulled my forehead off his & took a deep breath.

"Jack..." I whispered, "don't lay this all on me at once." I closed my eyes & squeezed the counter top.

"I'm not... I just.. I love you, okay? & it sucks not being able to call you my girlfriend. I want to call you my wife one day, hopefully soon. Let's just put the past behind us, please. Please Rebecca," he said, whispering that last part to me as he dug in his pocket. He pulled out the engagement ring I knew so well, & he held it up between us.

"Jack," I whispered, "I can't forget everything just like that. It's hard." Jack slapped the counter next to me, & I slightly jumped.

"Damnit, Rebecca! I know it's hard! But... I'm willing to let it all go, just forget about it. I don't care what happened anymore. I just want you & Jackie, & that's it. I'm begging you, Becca. Please," he said. My bottom lip quivered & I bit it.

"Can I think about it?" I asked, & he nodded.

"Take all the time you need, babe," Jack said, & I kissed his cheek in thanks. He returned to his food, & I watched as he finished it up & served it in two bowls, handing one to me with a spoon, because he knew that I like to eat Mac 'N Cheese with a spoon.

We ate in silence, not talking until we were both finished. I set my dishes in the sink, & Jack followed my lead.

"Wanna go cuddle again?" He asked, & I nodded. He helped me off the counter & carried me to my room despite my protests. He set me down on the bed & kissed me deeply, but I didn't mind.

I was definitely gonna marry him.

Notes

Chapter Fifty-Four!

Title Cred: Black Veil Brides

You can all stop crying now! Things are getting better! Or are they? ;)

Leave your wonderful comments down below! :)

Shout Outs:

@RememberingNeverland
@mec182
@winedrunklosers - Oh my god I'm so sorry! Here's a happier chapter! :(