I Feel Like A Hero

I quickly collect everyone in a panic. Thoughts of what could’ve happened while Jack was out partying, scares me. He could’ve almost died.

“Where are we going?” Matt asks when we get on the bus.

“This address.” I say, showing him. He reads it over and his face drains. “What?”

“That’s a hospital.”

“What?” I ask him.

“This address. Yeah. It’s a hospital.” He says. I feel my stomach drop as we head there. We get there and I run inside. Brendon, Spencer and Jon meet us there and Brendon is flipping out.

“What happened? Why did Jack want us here?” Brendon asks.

“I’m wondering the same thing.” I say. I walk up to the desk and ask for Jack.

“Two at a time. A lot might overwhelm him.” She says. I nod and Brendon decides to come. We head to his room and I open the door.

“Jack!” I shout. He looks at me and I walk over hugging him. “Where’s Ryan? Is he okay?”

“Actually… no.” He sighs, tears brimming his eyes. I look at Brendon. “He died… I think an OD of Heroin.”

“Fuck… Ryan… I’ve told him to be careful with it.” Brendon says. I hug Brendon and he takes a deep breath. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

“What about tour?” I ask. We all shrug.

“We’ll have to plan it in Nevada. We’re going there next.” Brendon says. “We should get planning then. When do you get out Jack?”

“Probably in a few hours after they run a few more tests to make sure I’m okay.” Jack says. I sigh and rest my head on my hand, staring at him. Hasn’t he learned his lesson yet?

“As soon as you get out we have to leave. We have some sold out shows.” I say.

“This was poor planning Jack.” Brendon says. Jack sighs. “I’ll go tell the guys.” Brendon leaves and I sigh. Jack looks at me apologetically and I give him a look.

“Jack… haven’t you learned anything yet?” I ask him. He shakes his head and sighs. “Obviously not. Jack… you’re not only hurting yourself, but you’re hurting me. Haven’t you realized that yet? I can’t handle this and pretty soon I’ll be as broken as I was before.”

Not true. I’m handling myself pretty well through all of this shit. Maybe scaring him will make him realize what he’s doing. I know it’s bad, but it’s the only thing I can think of. He’s scaring me and if he doesn’t realize or care that he’s hurting himself badly, then he obviously doesn’t know my pain.

“Alex… I… I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“You’re never thinking these days are you?” I ask him. He sighs. “Look at where your ecstasy took you Jack. You’re in the fucking hospital. Those drugs may have given you bliss that you haven’t been able to get without them, but they gave you a one way trip to the hospital. If you had taken just a little bit more of that shit, then you’d be joining Ryan in a casket.”

“I said I’m sorry.”

“I’m just trying to give you a taste of reality. If you don’t care then continue taking those drugs. Death will be knocking on your door shortly.”

“Alex!” he says. I look at him realizing now that I’m just rambling and I sound really stupid. “I want to recover! I do! Drugs are addicting! Just like self-harm! I thought you of all people would understand!”

I sigh and run a hand through my hair, my sleeve falling down a little revealing different colored scars. I look at my arm, running a finger over the scars. He’s right… I shouldn’t be yelling at him. I should be trying to help him and understand what he’s doing.

“Now I’m sorry.” I sigh. I lean over to give him a hug, but he kisses me instead which I’m perfectly okay with. “I feel like a jerk.”

“You should.”

“You know what, Jack?”

“I do.” He says. I smile.

“I’m with you through everything. I promise.” I tell him. He smiles and hugs me. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

Notes

GUYS HOLY FUCKING FUCK! I'M SOOOO SORRY!!!!!! HIGH SCHOOL IS A LOT FOR ME RIGHT NOW AND I JUST STARTED BABYSITTING AND I'M SEEING BVB FIR AND SIO IN ABOUT TWO WEEKS AND I REALLY HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR NOT UPDATING IN A MONTH AND I'M REALLY FUCKING SORRY OMFG!!!
Title Credit: Time of Dying by Three Days Grace
-Jenna<3 (the worst updater ever)