This Ones Different

*Alex POV*

I dropped my head back on the floor and sighed, Rian got off of me.

“Are you going to go after him?”

I laid there, not making a sound. Rian got up and left the room.

What have I done? I cant believe I just beat up Rian… I cant believe he only punched me once! Is that blood or tears running down my face? God what am I going to tell Jack… this is all so fucking fucked up! I’m fucked up!

Rian came back with baby wipes. He was wiping the blood from under his nose. He threw on of my wipes at me.

“Are you going to go after him?”

I sat up and wiped the small tears on my face away, along with some blood. “No Rian, He’s right. I lied, I have to deal with the damage I’ve done. I just wanted to make Jack happy and I thought if I didn’t hurt him again… He would be.”

Rian’s crossed his legs and sat in front of me. “Alex, Jack has been coming to me talking about you for 2 years now. When you guys got together it was the happiest time of his life, he really does love you. I’m not going to see it all get thrown away.
You are going to man up, find Jack, and kiss ass like you’ve never kissed ass before. Don’t do things only because you think he is going to leave, give him a reason to stay.”

“Thanks Rian.” Rian and I stood up, I have him a hug. “Go get ‘im tiger”

I smiled and ran out the door.

Shit…. What do I do next? Jack remembers the night… but only that night and he didn’t seem sad just pissed off. I need to tell him, I need to tell him everything I hid from him everything I lied about. I need to tell him I truly love him and that I don’t want to be with anyone else. First I need to find him…. I know exactly what I am going to do.

I pulled out my phone and texted Jack.

Where are you? We need to talk.

I’m at the park where you told me I fell. If I even did fall here.
Jack I just really need to talk to you, can I come?

Yeah whatever… come.


I closed my phone and started running to the park, it wasn’t that far from Rian’s house.

________________________________________________________________________


I finally got to the park, out of breath and panting like an animal. I looked up; Jack isn’t here… where is he? He said he was going to be here!!
I looked around panicking I looked on the slide and on the bars, behind the rock and through the tunnel. I went to the side of the park. There he was, softly swinging with his back turned to me kicking the girl below him.
I walked up to Jack and sat down in the swing next to him.

Sitting there, swinging right beside him looking down at my feet just like him. I don’t know what to say, I mean I do but I don’t know how to start off the conversation.

“Jack, I’m sorry”… Jack didn’t say a word “All of this is my fault, not Lisa’s not Rian’s not yours, but mine.” I stopped and waited for Jack to say something.

“Go on...” Jack said

“I shouldn’t have lied Jack, ever! I’m sorry I hurt you, sorry I lied to you. I can’t say thing that will make you forgive me for what I have done to you, but I can say this.
Jack, I love you, I love you more than I have ever loved someone. You make me so happy when you’re around; I always want you next to me. I can’t imagine you not being around; I wouldn’t be able to live without you.
All I want to do is hold you and kiss you. My goal everyday is to make you smile because that is my favorite thing about life, hearing your beautiful laugh and seeing you smile.
I would do anything in the world for you; I would walk through a desert if it meant I got to see you. If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t have stuck around for so long. All my favorite moments in life are when I was with you. …
Jack, you mean more to me than life itself. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. I just want to be with you. I-I
I want to wake up in the morning and hear you singing in the shower.
I want to come home and hug you because that is where I feel the safest… in your arms
Hang out and drink beer and when we’re drunk, have a sloppy make out session on the kitchen floor.
I just want to come home and see those beautiful eyes of yours.
Come home and make you a nice dinner because you deserve at least that.
I want to fight and then have angry makeup sex on the couch.
All I want is you Jack.
Jack, I will love you still my final breath. I don’t want you to leave me; I don’t want you to leave me life. I can’t imagine life without you. I would lay at night think about all those words I never said, on my lips taste like regret. Promises I never kept, all the times I lied to you. After all that we’ve been threw. I would still miss you, I still miss you.
And in the middle of the night when I feel you by my side and its nothing but a memory.
If I never said goodbye if I never made you cry! Jack, all these thoughts are killing me!
Jack you are my best friend and I would die for you! It’s so hard to explain! Whenever you’re gone I just wish you where with me.
I love you Jack, the way I feel is so hard to put into words!”

I sighed.

“If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, and then you would realize how special you are to me.”

I let go of the swings chains looking down at my feet letting my arms hang at my side.
Sitting there lightly swinging waiting for Jack to say something, anything!!

“I know” Jack said letting go of one of the swings chains.

Jack slipped his hand onto mine and intertwined our fingers. I looked up and him in shock and he smiled at me. “That’s why, I love you”

I smiled and held Jacks hand, Jack looked back down at his feet and so did I.

And there we sat. On the swings.

Two best friends, in love, holding hands, lightly… swinging.

Notes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!!!

I really like the ending of this chapter, i thought it was really cute! Just imagine them swining on swings holding hands. SO CUTE!!
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