This Ones Different

*Alex POV*

“I know you never meant to hurt me” Jack gave a small smile

“That’s why I came back”

“Jack I am so sorry, I don’t know how many times I have to say it but I am!”
I am so glad Jack came home, I’m happy he knows I never meant to hurt him. I feel really bad for putting Jack through this. I can’t believe he forgave me so fast, I’m surprised. What do I do now; I have no clue what to do.

“Jack I’m just so happy you came home” I threw my arms around him and gave him a beg hug, “I’m so happy you forgave me and came back” Jack pushed me away

“Forgave you? I didn’t forgive you; I came home because I knew you didn’t mean to hurt me. I also knew that if I didn’t come home you would end up like I did.”

Jack doesn’t forgive me? Of course he doesn’t I knew it was too good to be true!
Frank was right! I ran away from love and now I am going to slowly loose him; you always care once it’s too late. Why do I keep thinking that things will go my way?

“D-Do you still want to be with me?”
Jack sighed
“Alex I don’t know right now. Yes I still want to be with you but the last time we shared feelings you flipped on me. I just want to make sure that you’re sure you love me. I just don’t want to go back to you and then you hurt me again.”

“Jack I didn’t mean to hurt you! I thought about it and I do love you! I was just scared an-“
“Alex would you please stop with the ‘I was scared’ because to me it sounds like you still are. I told you, if your scared come to me and I can help you. Please just stop lying to yourself.”

“Jack I do love you, I’m not scared anymore. I’m just kinda nervous; you know this is a whole new thing for me. Its not my fault I was scared”

“You didn’t have to be scared Lex, I was there for you!”

“You’re making it sound like I shouldn’t have been scared at all! Jack I didn’t really have time to ease into my feeling, the freaking hit me like a freight train!”

“Alex please stop I don’t want to fight again!”

“Then let me love you!”

“Why so you can hurt my heart all over again!”
“I won’t hurt you again!”

“Why should I believe you?”

“BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT LOVE IS!” I yelled at Jack. Jack was frozen, trying to say something but no words came out.

“That’s what love is Jacky, Its choosing that person over everything, always thinking about them first, always believing what they say, even if it sounds stupid. Forgiving them if they hurt you, because you would rather be hurt and go back to them. Then be hurt and leave them because leaving them would be the most painful thing you ever did.”

“Lex I love you, I… I just need to make sure you love me, like 100%”

“WHY DO WE EVEN TRY ANY MORE?”

“W-What do you mean?”

“Jack, why do we even try? No matter what happens it’s like something is always going to stop us from being together. Our relationship is doomed” I sat down on the floor, Jack knelt beside me.
“Lex don’t say that. Of course we can be together. Nothing can stop”
I looked up at Jack, “Oh really? Then date me, right now.” I am so romantic when I ask people out, don’t you agree? Jack sighed and looked away and sat down next to me “Lex it isn’t that simple.” “Yes it is, Jack I love you and-“ Jack looked back at me “Do you really?” I raised an eyebrow. “Do you really love me?” I cupped the sides of Jack’s face and brought him close to me. I nodded “Yes Jacky, I love you very much.” Jack closed his eyes and rested his head on my hand. Jack looked so beautiful. Jack opened his eyes and smiled. I pulled Jack closer slowly closing the gap between us.

*BANG BANG BANG*

“ALEX! ALEX OPEN UP ITS SHAUN!!!”

*BANG BANG BANG*

I opened my eyes everything was so bright and my head really hurt! My eyes focused and I saw the ceiling I looked down at my body and saw that I was laying on the kitchen floor. I put my head back down. “Damn it” Was that whole fucking thing a dream? Jack never came home and I just pasted out drunk on the floor?

*BANG BANG* “ALEX OPEN UP!! PLEASE!”

“Shit.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes and walked over to the door. “What?” I’m not really in the mood for communication with other people. “Alex you have to help! It’s Jack he’s missing!” That woke me up immediately.

“Whoa, whoa okay slow down, What do you mean he’s missing?”
“I mean I can’t find him. HE’S GONE! I just woke up and he wasn't there!” Why is Shaun coming to me yelling saying Jack is missing? How would He even know?

“Wasn't where? Shaun why are you so concerned about Jack’s whereabouts? Jack isnt home, he left last night. He's not missing he just went somewhere last night.”

“Alex, he was at my place last night, He told me everything. You crying to him about Lisa, you guys hooking up, you breaking his heart, yadda yadda yadda. By the way nice going dude, he was your best friend.”

“Shut up! How is Jack missing?!” Shaun turned back into panic mode, good because Shaun can be a dick sometimes.

“We were talking last night and Jack was really depressed and upset, I told him he could spend the night with me. You called and I heard the whole conversation. When Jack hung up he said ‘sometimes I wonder if he even wants me around anymore’ I told him not to think like that he said ‘I’m going to bed, I don’t want this’ I don’t know much about people who run away but I think that you something to do with it!”

Jack ran away?!?! Holly fucking tits NO!! Why, oh god WHY!

"I never wanted Jack to run away! I called him last night because i wanted him to come HOME!"

"Well he didnt and now i dont know where he is. I just dont want him to do anythinf stupid"

“D-Did Jack take his car?” If jack took his car he could be anywhere, if he was on foot he couldn’t have gotten far.

“No, He didn’t even take his cell phone!” Shaun was flailing his arms around like a mad man
Looks like Jack really doesn’t want to be found, oh my god! Jack is missing!

Jack ran away, because of me! Because of what I said to him! He and I making up was all a dream! If I could just take it all back, I wouldn’t have flipped out on Jack saying our feelings were wrong, I wouldn’t have lied to him when he asked me if I felt anything in the kiss, and I especially wouldn’t have stormed out and drove away. I am the author of my life unfortunately I am written in pen and can not erase my mistakes. Though I wish I could, I can’t go back and relive the past. I can’t change it and make it better; I have to live with this bullshit reality, where no one gets a break, which I’m stuck in.

“Shaun? Where do you think he is?”

“I honestly don’t know! I don't want him doing anything stupid! I just hope he isn’t hurt, or dead”

The idea of Jack dying hit me really hard. What if he is dead? What if he killed himself because he rather die than live without me? Frank said no matter how much they hurt you, you always go back to them because it hurts so much worse living without them. Did Jack think I was going to continue on without him? I hold him over the phone I lobe him! He is the one that wouldn’t listen! My eyes began to burn and Shaun’s face became blurry I felt a tear drip down my cheek. My chest started to collapse in on its self and I felt like I was going to puke. My stomach turned into a big knot and I feel to my knees hyperventilating. It was getting so hard to breath. What if Jack ran away because he didn’t wan to see me ever again? What if it’s me he is trying to get away from? Run from your problems, but you can not run from yourself. I felt Shaun put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him everything around him was white I couldn’t see anything. I could see Shaun’s lips moving but I couldn’t hear a word he was saying, he looked like he was yelling. Shaun started shaking me; my eyes became very hard to keep open. My entire body fell backwards onto the floor. Jack is gone, because of me.

Notes

I know its short but i had to update

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