This Ones Different

*Alex POV*

Jack has been really sweet lately, kissing my forehead, cuddling me, holding my hand. I’m really glad I have Jack. I don’t know what to call our relation ship, I mean we kiss and all but we haven’t made it official. I don’t want to make it official I am kinda done with relationships at the moment. I’m good with this perfect amount of affecting I’m getting. I don’t really want a relationship I just really want Jack. I was in my room writing lyrics. Most of the songs I write are meaningful, isn’t that what a song is? A story with music, well this one is about Jack, I guess?


You showed me love
And I wasn't quite sure just what to do with it
You saw my pain and you took me in with open arms
I'm not sure just what you saw
Maybe the better parts of me
All I know is that what I have
Is all I'll ever need

Now I'm livin' a life worth livin'
It's bright enough to see
That all I want, yeah all I want is you

Took your time
And you didn't give a damn just what they thought of it
You eased my mind
And I never been sure how to do that myself
I don't know where you came from
Did you fall right out the sky?
All I know is what you fell upon
It finally feels alive

Now I'm livin' a life worth livin'
It's bright enough to see
That all I want, yeah all I want is you
And even if the world was in my hands
Well, I'd just want you to know
That all I want, yeah all I want is you, is you, is you

There was only so much I could take
You opened up and made me change
Yeah, you always held me through
And I'll do the same for you
I'll do the same for you

Now I'm livin' a life worth livin'
It's bright enough to see
That all I want, yeah all I want is you
And even if the world was in my hands
Well, I'd just want you to know
That all I want, yeah all I want is you, is you
Yeah all I want, all I want is you


I heard a knock on my door; Jack came into my room and sat down right next to me. He started messing with my hair. “Yes Jack?” Jack put his arm around me “I just wanted to be with you”

Do you se this? Do you see how cute he is being? Jack started to kiss at my neck, god this feels good. I’ve always been a whore for neck kisses. I tilted my head to give Jack better access but he stopped kissing “Jaacky don’t stoop” I whined Jack laughed at me; Jack has been really touchy feely I don’t really mind, I love this constant affection it made me important and special.

I like being here with Jack, but sometimes I get this weird feeling in my gut. Sometimes I feel like I’m questioning myself. I don’t know what exactly I am questioning I just know it’s about me, I think. Sometimes the feeling gets really strong when I’m around Jack. I think part of me thinks I’m cheating on Lisa? I don’t know.

“Why can’t I stop?”

“Because it feels good and I don’t want you to stop” Jack flipped me over and got on top of me straddling my hips. Well that escalated quickly, I fucking love it when Jack takes control like this.

“Don’t tell me what to do” Jack grinned down on me; I let out a small moan. Jack laughed “Loser” I smiled up at him and he grinned down on me again; I could feel myself starting to get hard. Do you see this?! Two grinds TWO fucking grinds and I’m hard, do you see what he does to me? One second he is cute and cuddly witch makes me want to bake him cookies and cuddle while watching movies. Then in 0.5 seconds he can change everything and I want to well….pin me up against a wall and fuck me so hard I can’t walk for 3 days.

“I like where this is going” I winked; Jack turned his face to the side and blushed. He is so cute when he does that. “Jack you’re such a teddy bear”

Jack grinned down on me and again and I let out a loud moan. “Fuck Jack stop teasing” Jack got off of me and stood up.

He fixed his hair and walked out of my room. What, why the hell is he leaving? Who gave him permission to leave me here, a lying hard mess? “Jack!? Where are you going come back!?”
Jack walked down stares and went into the kitchen. I got up and followed him
“Jack why did you stop?” honestly who the fuck told you, you could leave? I would really like to talk to this person because excuse me? They’re fucking wrong!

“Because I knew you didn’t want me to stop” Oh so Jack told Jack to leave. Well um excuse me Jack, You’re fucking wrong.

“Jack you’re such a fucking tease, this is the third time you have left me hanging.” This isn’t funny anymore; once or twice okay I get it you are building me up but a THIRD TIME! That’s not okay, I promise!

I walked up behind Jack and wrapped my arms around his waist; it’s my turn for revenge.

“My dreams of you are getting really naughty Jacky” I could feel Jacks heart start to beat faster. “Lex, stop it” Oh Hell NO! “Why Jacky?” I trailed my fingers down Jack’s back and squeezed his ass. Jack got all tense.
“Because I don’t like being controlled” I turned Jack around and pinned him up against the sink. “But, why?” Jack snapped

“BECAUSE VENN” He pushed me off him and I stumbled backwards. I was shocked, Jack just pushed me!

“Lex I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

“Fine then” I walked up stairs and sat back down on my bed. What an ass, don’t get me wrong I kinda like having this sort of friendship with Jack. Well I have never done any of this with a guy, I never thought of it. It kinda sounds wrong, being with a guy, it sound taboo and wrong. OH MY GOD, I never thought about this, this is SO wrong. Jack is my best friend! Jack’s a GUY TOO! Oh no this is so wrong, I can’t believe I ever though this was a good idea.

Yeah I know I feel different around Jack but it’s because he is my best friend not because he is lover. I can’t believe I was so blind! I can’t do this, this is wrong! Can’t Jack see how fucking wrong this is! I have known Jack since I was young he is like a god damn brother to me! Not some guy I meat on the streets and fell for, but someone I grew up with! It’s like dating your mother! Jack is like a brother to me, this is technically incest!
I’m so scared; I actually liked the things Jack did to me! I feel so, guilty! Not only did I KISS Jack, he freaking SUCKED ME OFFF! This is so wrong, so very very wrong! Why did I ever have feelings for Jack? I am NOT gay, especially not gay for Jack! Of all people! I heard a knock on the door.

“Hey Lex I’m sorry” Jack walked into my room and sat next to me on my bed. “It’s okay Jack, it’s my fault.”

Please no not right now Jack Don’t tease me, this is wrong and I’m scared.

“No Alex its not your fault its mine, I was being a really big tease” Shit please Jack no I’m begging you!

“Its okay Jack that’s in the past now, let’s move on from it and forget it ever happen, forget all of this ever happen!”

“Well, Okay but I want to make it up to you.”

“L-Like how?” Jack smirks at me. “You know how”

Jack leaned down to kiss me but I push him away. “Lex? What is it? What’s wrong? Is it something about Lisa?”
Jack grabbed my hand and I moved my arm away. “Lex, Look at me” I looked up at Jack, Jack checked out my face and went to go push the hair out of my face and I stood up to get away from him.

“Jack do you now wrong this is?” Jack looked worried and confused,

“How wrong what is?” I threw my arms up, can he not see?

“This” I motioned to us. All the color in Jack’s face drained.

“W-What?” Jacks voice was quite and shacky.

“This Jack, Us! It’s wrong so very very very very VERY wrong! You are my best friend and a GUY, you’re like my brother! How can you not see how wrong this is! It’s like incest for crying out loud! Jack open you eyes and look at what’s going on! Our honry-ness has gotten the best of us!” I was pacing around the room ranting at this point.

“L-Lex…pleases d-don’t say t-that” I looked over at Jack… He, he was crying.

“Jack why on earth are you crying?”

“Because Lex, I fucking love you. I told you I love you! I have loved you for years! Finally I have you, finally I get to tell you about my feelings, finally I get to act upon my feelings, and now you are here talking about how wrong it is! How wrong it is? Don’t you think I fucking have thought about how wrong it is?! You don’t think I thought to myself how fucking wrong it was all the time?! The thought never left me! I have feelings for my best friend, strong feelings for my friend, who is a guy. It torn me apart for years! I would have fucking emotional break downs about it because I felt like it was so fucking wrong and that I was some kind of psychopath! I had to call the hospital because it would get to the point to where I couldn’t breath! I wouldn’t sleep for weeks at a time because of these fucking feelings that would kill me! So yes Alex, I have thought about how fucking wrong it is. It’s so wrong that it felt right!” Jack was crying really hard now.

“I-I couldn’t deal the F-fact that I knew I couldn’t be with you. All I want is you; all I ever wanted was you. D-do you understand that what you are saying to me right now is hurting me more than a-anything I have ever experienced? I love you Alex. I fucking love you; you remember that month I didn’t talk to anyone and no one saw me? Do you want to know what happen that entire month?”

I remember that month, Jack just disappeared off the face of the earth, we all knew he was at his house but no one ever saw him leave it. The curtains where always shut, the doors were locked, and then out of nowhere, Zack found Jack Naked in his pool. He was drunk and looked like he just got off a survival TV show. He was super skinny, dark bags under his eyes; Zack took Him to the hospital because he was in such bad shape. How Jack found his way into Zack’s house and in Zack’s pool no one knows. Zack said he was so drunk he couldn’t ever remember his own name!

I nodded, I do want to know.

“My feeling for you started to get so strong I just gave up, I gave up on everything! I-I didn’t wan to be apart of anything. I stopped eating; I would only have small bites of things because I knew I would die if I didn’t. I stopped sleeping; I couldn’t bring myself to sleep, I would try so hard. I tried almost ever sleeping remedy I could fine and none of them worked. The only time I would sleep was when I was drunk.
I would have emotional breakdowns almost every night. I would just cry a-and shake and scream even. I would cry to the point were I couldn’t breath and sometimes puke.
I looked like death, and I felt like death.
That whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about you! I knew I wasn’t gay, I’m still not gay.
Tits are fucking awesome you know that, but when I see you, all I want is you; I get a feeling that no one has ever made me feel before. I felt so bad, I felt like I was a fuck up. I felt like I was cursed because I fell in love with my best friend! I hated myself; I put myself down because I was confused! At the end of the day I realized I wasn’t confused, I was in love and it was okay to love, hard, but okay. I found my one and only and it just so happen to be my best friend.” Jack stood up.

“Alex I didn’t fall in love with your face; I didn’t fall in love with you because you are a guy, I fell in love with you because of who you are! I fell in love with your personality. It wasn’t love at first site Lex.” Jack took a step closer to me.

“I grew to love you; I fell in love with you when I got to know you more. I just fell in love with the person you are, Perfect.”

I took a step back; I didn’t want to be around Jack. “But Jack…… It’s so wrong”

After hearing everything Jack said I see now how badly this is going to hurt him. My mind hasn’t changed I just feel so bad about this. I don’t want him to go back to the way he was before.

“Are you saying all that stuff that happen that month was….was because of me?”
Jack nodded

Are you saying I’m the reason Jack was a fucking utter and complete mess? Why didn’t he just tell me I was hurting him? Well I guess he couldn’t come and talk to me when what he needed to talk about was me. I feel bad that I couldn’t be there for him. I never wanted to hurt Jack; I care too much for him. And yet here I am standing in front of Jack watching him was his world comes crashing down before him. I’m a really bad friend.

“I never meant to hurt you Jacky” Jack shook his head.

“You didn’t hurt me. I was hurting myself, over you. It was all me, all of it! Getting drunk all the time, breaking things, melt downs, even ending up in Zack’s pool, it was all my fault. I should have learn to control my feelings but I fought it for a long time, and I guess I just snapped.”

Well that didn’t make me feel any better.

“Jack I’m so sorry, I don’t think I feel the same way you do. I-I can’t do this. I just can’t. I don’t know I’m sorry.”

Jack pushed his eyebrows together gave me a mean glare.

“Fine then, if you don’t know we’ll just have to fucking find out.”

“What do you mean Jack?”

Jack too a step closer to me.

“Kiss me and tell me you don’t feel anything”

WHAT?!

Notes

Sorry it took so long to update!! I'm back now!

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