You're Good At Smiling.

The first few weeks were awkward, but that soon drifted away. In all honesty, I had missed Alex. Ryan and Zack kept an eye on me and reminded me that I’ve came very far and I was on my way to getting better. And it was true, I was now 95 pounds and proud to be that. It was difficult, and it was a hell I had to fight on my own, but in time, I will be able to be more normal and I have Billie to thank for that. I blazed it a lot, to be honest, and it helped for the most part. Alex wasn’t super keen on me smoking weed, but at the end of the day, he knew that it was purely in order for me to handle things.

My affair with Whiskey also came to a screeching halt. It was either the weed or the whiskey, and I ultimately picked weed. Seeing Alex with Lisa hurt like a bitch. And when he proposed, it killed me a little bit inside. The few days after that were rough on me, but Billie reminded me to keep going and keep doing well. Vic even called me and offered me a shoulder to cry on if I ever needed it. I thanked him for it; I was glad we were cool with each other now.

Despite it hurting, I had to be the bigger person. I congratulated Alex and wished him a long happy marriage, on social media. All the people who once believed in Jalex were kind of pissed but they let it go.

I mean it’s still hard to watch Alex love someone else, even after how much he made me believe he was in love with me but its time for me to move on. Jalex was a ship that ultimately sank, and instead of being a causality, it was time I got on a lifeboat and made it out alive. No one would save me, except me. It was time I saved myself from my own misery and move on with my life. Being this unhappy was something I did not enjoy.

At the end of the day, Alex being happy is something I would not take away from him. If Lisa was the one who made him happy, what could I do? She was there to pick him up now. He had no use for me and, I’ve slowly come to realize that, that is okay. She’ll be the one to mend him, and I’ll be able to mend myself. Alex will forever be my best friend, but he will never be my lover. Having to understand that was hard, but once I did, I was able to live with it.

I no longer felt the pain I did from seeing them together. It still stung, but he was happy, and that made me happier. When he asked me to be his best man, I felt that our friendship was finally recovering, and it was. We were able to joke and be ourselves. There were times that we were awkward a little bit, but I’d crack a joke and we’d move on.

Moving on was something that I do not regret doing. There would always be a part of me that loved Alex, but it was time for me to go my own way. And once I did, I met the beautiful person that was currently laying in my arms.

Luke was a bit younger than me, but he was still pretty awesome. We’d met awhile back. His band had been a fan of ours, and we met at some point and, Alex began to mentor Luke’s band and then somehow, Luke and I hit it off.

He knew about my struggles, and supported me nonetheless. He too had his own struggles and understood. We’d yet to go public but I wanted to someday. Luke was perfect and I was in love with him. Alex would always be my first love, but I hoped Luke would be the one I would stay with for a long time.

Alex supported Luke, and me and that made me happy. Vic also knew, and told me once, “I am glad you finally found a guy that loves you real good. I will always love you, and care a lot for you, but I I’m glad we both found happiness eventually. By the way, when I Marry Danielle, because I really do want to marry her, I want you to be one of my groom’s men. Mike is my best man, but you Jaime, and Tony are gonna be my groomsmen.” It made me laugh a little bit. Vic was absolutely crazy for Danielle, and she was crazy for him too. Knowing he was happy, and in good hands made me feel better. I’d met Danielle once before, and I soon realized that her and Vic were perfect for each other.

The four-month tour slowly came to an end, and by the end of it, I was almost at my goal weight of 100 lbs. Luke had been very supportive and so had been my band. The fans had been incredible, and I had an absolute blast.

The next few months were spent recording a new album, which I helped a lot on. We entitled it, “Future Hearts.” I was proud of it. It meant a lot to me, and I was proud of how it came out.

It was later released that same year. The fans loved it. After it’s release, we set out on a huge tour. We started in the UK and ended in the United States. It was an amazing tour. I met a lot of nice people and created a lot of memories.

Last year, if you told me that next year, I would be on track to be healthy, and happy, I’d laugh at you and say, bring me more weed. But I’ve truly gotten better. I no longer needed weed to help me eat. Luke was a massive boost to my self-esteem. He made me feel good about myself, and that was a major help.

I was no longer a walking skeleton, and that was a huge improvement. I’d always been thin and lanky before, but now I had more to me and my bones didn’t stick out. Billie Joe would send me texts every so often asking how I was. It was pretty chill to know that the guy I spent my childhood looking up to, cared about my well being because we became friends.

Hell, Mikey Way even texted me at one point. That was pretty fucking cool. Mikey and I had hung out a few times a long time ago, but we’d stopped talking for the longest time. He told me that he had gone to rehab, and worked through all of his addictions and stuff and was back on track as well. He like his brother, had a drug problem at one point, and he had worked through it and overcame it.

It took a long time, but I was finally okay. Loving someone who loved some one else hurt but I let go. I moved on and I was glad I did. I met Luke who was amazing and literally perfect. Kissing Luke’s forehead, I mumbled Good night and fell asleep.

Notes

OK so this is not how it originally was planned to go. tbh it was going to be reeeealllly sad and emotional. like it'd be sad as hell and then it ended happily but i lost everything when my laptop crashed.

i ended up just wanting to finish the story so it wraps up like this. the last chapter is going up next.