Wow. It's all I can think of. Wow. The summer went by so fast I can't believe it's already the morning of the first day of school, and to think that it's my last year too, really, wow. As I scurry around gathering my things I see the yellow school bus pass right in front of my house, no big deal, I live on a dead end street anyway, it'll pass by again in a minute or so.

"Bye mom!" I shout hurriedly stepping out before hearing her answer, I walk down our driveway and to the other side of the street. I'm thankful for the loudness of the engine, getting closer and closer, hopefully it's loud enough that no ones going to hear my heart racing right now. Just before the driver opens the door I take a deep breath and whisper to myself "this year is going to be the best one yet." Cheesy eh? Yeah, that's how I roll.

I keep my eyes down, looking at my feet trying not to trip while getting to my seat at the back. I probably look terrified right now, I mean, I am terrified but I don't want it to actually show. I force myself to look up, my eyes meet several others but no one seems particularly interested seeing as we've been taking the same bus together for the past four years. I finally slide into my spot after what felt like way too long and I remind myself to breath. I can do this.

I close my eyes and let my thoughts drift towards my music. It's playing loud enough in my earphones to cover up the noise of my surroundings. I love the way the simple lyrics can create such complex stories and meanings and how every time you listen to a song you can find something new about it.
My biggest dream would have been to be able to create music myself but that's like saying I wish I could grow up to be an astronaut or a cowboy, it's a little kid's dream, nothing more.

I imagine what it would be like to be a rockstar, to have crowds chanting my name and to have the spotlight on me, or most importantly, to have the spotlight on me and not panic. Ugh, if I get nervous doing a presentation for school in front of twenty students then there's no way I'd ever be able to stand up in front of a crowd. Ever.

I feel someone tapping my shoulder and jolt out of my daydream, "can I uhh- can I sit here?" A girl asks. I just nod and take my bag from the seat before placing it onto my knees, she smiles and whispers a soft "thank you" and sits down. I just shift closer to the window and stare far away until we reach Dulaney High, or as I like to call it, hell, disguised as compulsory education.

I'm well used to how things work at this school so getting to my first class is quite easy, English And Literature, good, something interesting. The teacher, Mrs.Crawford makes us stand by the wall and points out each of our seats in alphabetical order, checking her attendance sheet at the same time. Once we're all settled I notice there's someone missing, an empty desk next to mine. I wonder who it is, who misses the fist day of school? That's like the most important day if you want to make friends with the jocks or cheerleaders or whatever... Oh well, I'll find out soon enough I guess.

I refocus my attention on the lesson, nothing too deep seeing as we're all still getting used to being here again. Ms.Crawford tells us about her class rules then talks to us about some of the projects she's planning for us this trimester, I honestly can't wait for some of them, I love writing stories and poems, it's kind of my thing. Most of the time in class when I'd get bored I would just start doodling random little ideas on my desk to pass the time, at least in this class those doodles were considered work and we were graded on them. I hear the usual classroom chatter getting somewhat louder and realize our teacher gave us some free time to talk to our friends. great.

That's one of the things you need to know about me, I don't really have any friends here. Surprised? I would think not. for some reason no one's ever really taken a liking to me and neither have I. Some of these people are nice but I just don't feel like we have anything in common, other than classes of course. These guys are all super popular, they talk about sports and play for school teams and they have massive parties almost every weekend, oh and of course they get all the girls.

Meanwhile, I talk about comic books and space, I hang out with my older brother on the weekends and blast music on our old radio while driving around town. I'm not super buff and I'm not rich either. Oh and if I had a party at my house my parents would probably murder me, okay maybe not murder me but I'd be grounded for a pretty long time. So guess who doesn't get the girls like ever... Yeah, me.

So when everyone in the class went to gather with their cliques I stayed sitting in my spot. I took out a note book to try and look busy, time was going by so slowly and I was getting impatient. Impatience, maybe that's why I snapped when I should have kept my mouth shut. Maybe that's why when Josh threw me that stupid paper plane I sent him a glare. Maybe it's why when him and his gang started calling me names and laughing at my clothes I told him to 'fuck off'. And that is why now I'm sitting outside the principal's office after the first forty five minutes of the very first day of school. God damn impatience.

---

"Well I'll let you off easy today, seeing as it's the first day back. But don't be fooled, this behavior is completely unacceptable and I hope I won't be seeing you in my office again anytime soon. Understood?" He looked at me from over his thick glasses waiting for my answer. I always did find our principal sorta nice, he had a zero bullshit attitude and didn't waste time getting to the point. "Yes sir. Thank you sir." I answer, feeling like in those military movies as I did. He pointed towards the door and I gladly let myself out.

The rest of the day went by without any problems, Josh had easily moved on after our little 'argument' this morning. He wasn't the bully type, he just liked to be annoying. I went from class to class avoiding as many people as I could, just trying to go by unnoticed. Way to go retard, getting sent to the principal during first class definitely didn't help you go unnoticed, I groaned. Well if I pretend it never happened people will surely forget.
Hopefully they'll forget I even exist.
But is that really what I want?

Notes