Me Without You

I sat at the table stirring my tea. Last night hadn’t gone very well. Alex hung up immediately after I revealed my thoughts and I could safely assume he had told Jack. And I hadn’t heard from any of them. I kept unlocking and relocking my phone, just to check that I hadn’t missed any non-existent messages. Liana placed a small plate of toast down in front of me with a gentle smile and squeezed my shoulder.
“It’ll be fine. Just breathe, kiddo.” She sighed as she sat down opposite me. “Everything’s going to be just fine.” I lifted the teaspoon to my mouth and tapped it against my lips.
“I don’t think I’m very hungry.” I whispered and stood up from my chair, leaving my dishes on the table. I pulled the dressing gown I had borrowed from Ciara tight around my shoulders as I took the stairs two at a time. Shutting the bedroom door behind me I quickly distracted myself by pulling together a quick outfit. I pulled on an old pair of faded black skinny jeans and a plain white singlet underneath my new cream crewneck sweater I bought with Ciara yesterday. I was halfway through brushing my hair when a loud knocking at the front door made me jump. I shrugged it off and left it to Liana. I let my hair fall down over my shoulders and made the decision to not leave the house today and to therefore give my skin a make-up free day. My door flew open and I whipped around to see Ciara looking like she’d seen a ghost.
“Jay, you’ll never guess who’s downstairs.” I shrugged and leaned against the chest of drawers.
“Who?” Ciara fidgeted for a second and her yes darted quickly around the room. “Why do you look so nervous?”
“Maybe it’ll be better if you just take a look.” I followed her down the stairs but she blocked me just before I could reach the bottom. I tried to peer past her and see who was talking with Liana in the living room but the words that floated through the hall made me fall back against the stairs. Ciara ran a hand through her hair and slumped down next to me. “He just showed up.” I tried to steady my breathing as the small talk flowed through to me. He was here. Sitting in my aunt’s living room, talking about the weather. There was a period of whispering which I couldn’t make out and then some shuffling about before Liana appeared in the hallway.
“Oh, Jasey.” I gave her a half smile, explaining that I knew he was here. She took Ciara’s hand and pulled their jackets off the hooks. “Ciara we’re going out.” She gave me a small smile and quickly ushered Ciara out of the house. Oh god, that was it. I’d have to go in there. We were going to have to actually talk about this. I dusted myself and started to pace around the hall way. I was dragging this out, I was making this worse. I needed to…
“Hey there.” I whipped round to find a nervous Jack shuffling in the doorway. “Alex said you weren’t coming home.”
“I…” I couldn’t speak. I could feel tears prickling at the corner of my eyes. “I’m… I’m sorry.” I stuttered rushing past Jack so I could collapse onto one of the small leather couches. Jack followed me in and crouched down in front of me, pulling my hands into his.
“Jasey, I get it. I really do.” He cooed, tracing small circles into the back of my hand with his thumb. “I understand why you want to stay. But please, don’t make any hasty decisions.” I slowed my breathing as I tried to stop myself from crying. “I don’t want to have to move here, but if moving to Ireland is what it takes to keep you, then goddammit I will do it.” I cocked my head as I tried to process what he had just said. It wasn’t that he’d let me live here and visit, he had just said he himself would move here. For me. “I will not be separated from my kids. Whether they turn out to be my blood children or my step-kids. I will follow you to the ends of the earth if that’s what it takes to make you happy.”
“We can move to Ireland?” I choked and Jack gave me a soft smile as he moved a piece of hair off my face.
“If that’s what will make you happy, yes.”
“But what about Baltimore?”
“We can have a house here and keep my house there. There’s no harm in swapping between the two.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’ll still need somewhere to stay on small tour breaks.”
“Jack, that means you’ll own three houses.” I had momentarily forgot about the apartment he owned in California. Jack let out a laugh and twisted himself so he could sit next to me on the couch.
“I’ve already paid off both of them and if it becomes too much of a hassle we can always sell the apartment. Jasey, I will do whatever I have to to make you happy.”
Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out the single piece of jewellery I had been missing most. He turned it around in his fingers a couple of times before holding it out to me. “I still want to marry you.” I bit my lip as the words slowly sunk in. “Please tell me you still want to marry me.”

Notes

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