Me Without You

I snuggled into the warm chest I was lying on. It was nothing new to me to wake up after a hard nights drinking in bed with one of the boys. We were each other’s drunken cuddles. I pulled Jack’s arm over me to keep warm and felt my shoulder was bare. Huh? I raised my hand to my collar bone and ran along it. There was no… Oh wow. Holy fucking shit. I sat up and looked down at myself. No clothing. Nothing. No clothing. No clothing. Holy shit, had we… I ran a hand through my hair and caught a shimmering in the corner of my eye. My dress. I turned to look at the still sleeping Jack and groaned, waking him up. We hadn’t just cuddled last night. Jack smirked as he took in my bare form.
“Still the best you ever had, Roberts?” I slapped him and pulled on a shirt he had screwed up at the bottom of his bunk.
“Shut up. This is so not funny, Jack.” He raised an eyebrow and I really started to freak out. Alex, Mike. They all knew this had happened. I had practically announced it when we left the bar last night. How the hell was I gonna deal with this mess? This was one I couldn't bat my eyelashes out of. Voices started to float through the bus as everyone woke up. I lay back down in defeat and Jack kissed the side of my head reassuringly.
“It’ll be fine, Jasey. Just breathe.” The curtain of Jack’s bunk whipped open and Alex’s red face appeared next to mine.
“Jasey, get out.” I quickly obeyed. His tone of voice implied that Alex was not to be messed with today. I slid out of the bunk and quickly ran to Vic who was milling around in the kitchen.
“Shits about to go down, chica.” He sighed pulling me into his side. “And you are right in the middle of it. You’re lucky Lisa’s still asleep or this would be worse.” Mike gave me the evils as he pushed past us and left the bus. “He’s not chuffed about last night either.” I stood and watched Alex pull a now clothed Jack out of the bus and onto the tarmac.
“You slept with her!?” Jack had his hands up in surrender but Alex continued to advance on him. “You know how I feel about Jasey, Jack! Why did you have to go fuck her?” I wriggled out of Vic’s hold and ran off the bus. I couldn't stand to see the two best friends fight, especially considering it was my drunken asses fault. I yelled after Alex but he ignored me, pinning Jack up against a wall.
“Alex, please! Baby, stop!” Alex whipped round and stared me down.
“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me Jasey!”
“What is going on?” Lisa squealed from the door of the bus and Alex’s hand instantly dropped from where he had Jack pinned.
“Nothing, honey.” Jack rubbed his shoulder as Alex stormed back over to Lisa. “Everything’s fine. Jack was just being an idiot as usual.” Lisa gave him a confused look before heading inside the bus with him. I ran over to Jack and checked he was okay.
“I don’t get why he’s so possessive yet he won’t get rid of Lisa and just have you.” Jack growled as he got to his feet. “I mean come on. You’re single now. Ripe for the picking. If he wanted you that badly he could just drop her and take you.” I followed Jack back towards the bus, rubbing my hand up my arm, nervous about the commotion my drunken cockiness had caused. “I don’t get it.” I sighed and stepped onto the bus after Jack to be stared down by everyone there apart from Lisa. A blissfully confused Lisa who didn’t know why the atmosphere was so tense. I pushed past a still fuming Alex and flicked myself up onto my bunk. I was hunkering down in here until I went out to do meet and greet. I had told Matt that since I was here I was going to help out. My phone went off on my shelf and I was reluctant to look at it. It was probably a stream of hate mail from Mike and Alex.

From: Zack

He’ll calm down. Come back out.

To: Zack

It’s not that simple and you know it. No, I’m staying in here until I have to do meet and greet.

From: Zack

Coward.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my blanket up to my chin. My curtain started to rustle and I pulled the blankets over my head, wriggling against the wall. I was not coming out. A finger poked my knee and I retracted further.
“Come on, Jasey.” My heart fluttered at the voice but I refused to move. He would only be angry. “Jasey. Come out.” I lay still, hoping he would go away. I felt the weight of the mattress shift and poked my head out of my cocoon to give Mike daggers. He had ruined my comfy hiding place. He turned around to draw the curtain shut again and pulled me against him. “I promised I would still be your best friend. And even though what you did last night was the lowest thing I had ever seen you stoop to, I have to be there for your emotional shit.” I let a weak smile spread across my face as he kissed my hair. “Why did you do it?” I remained silent. He knew why I came back with Jack. Both of us knew, neither of us wanted to confess it. “Seriously, you only came back on tour because of Lisa. Now that you’re here you want every ounce of Alex’s attention. Which sucks by the way. Vic and I miss you.” I let out a sigh and moved my fringe out of my face.
“I can’t stand to see him with her.”
“And he can’t stand to see you with anyone else.” Mike laughed. “We all spoke to him. Heck, even I did. We all said that he needed to buck Lisa and grab you before you did something stupid to try get him away from her. And here we are, with you having slept with Jack, probably contracting herpes, and Alex going NATO on the situation.” He rubbed his hand up my arm. “You need to get out of you den of despair and enjoy your day with your friends before we have to go please thousands of screaming fans.” I giggled as he slipped out of the bunk and pulled me down after him. He flicked his hat onto his head and sauntered off the bus, grabbing Lisa by the arm and pulling her with him muttering about helping Vinny. You could practically smell the tension radiating off the staring contest that was Alex and Jack. I sat down next to Jack and stared at Alex. As much as I wanted to be next to him and making the most of the Lisa-free time, Jack needed support.
“What the actual fuck.” Alex whispered. I leaned my elbows on my knees and propped my chin in my hands as I waited for him to continue.
“I had to watch you and Mike every day!” Alex said pointedly as I leaned back in the chair, unable to keep still. “I spent those weeks being jealous of him having what I didn’t grab when I had the chance back in senior year. And now Lisa’s here, I pretty much want you to feel how I felt. But you wanted to play at that game too, huh? But don’t you think fucking Jack was a little too far?” I covered my face with my hands and groaned as I fell deeper into the hole I had dug myself.
“I just want you to myself, okay?” I yelled. “No Mike, No Lisa, no anyone. Just you, me, Baltimore beaches and bad songs we couldn’t find a chorus for!” I stood up pushed my hands through my hair as memories of how things used to be flooded into me. “I want to sit at dinner with your parents and make bad jokes so you snorted spaghetti out your nose. I want my Alex back. My Alex who would walk the two blocks to my house at 3am because I needed a hug and would sit on my roof wrapped in blankets finding pictures I the stars. I want it to be simple and easy again. I want the old days back. The days where we were best friends. I want my best friend back. We weren't together but our relationship was easy. But now we have Lisa and Mike and our friends who are all so involved in our lives that one slip in the wrong direction and we could tear the two bands apart.” Tears were flowing down my cheeks and I huffed when I couldn’t think of anything else to say. “Why is this all so difficult?” Alex stood up and cupped my face in his hands. He pressed his nose to mine and rocked us back and forth as my hands held onto his.
“I love you, Jasey.” He whispered to me. “I always have and I promise you I always will.”
“Don’t make-“
“-promises you can’t keep, Alexander.” Alex chuckled. “I know. But I promise you, this time I mean it. I will never stop loving you.”
“Alex?” Lisa’s voice was small and shaking as we both jumped apart and stared at the small frame in the entrance of the bus. “What is going on? Can someone please just tell me what is going on?” Jack grabbed my arm as I went to start talking our way out of it.
“This is Alex’s issue.”


I sat with my clipboard at the entrance of the venue, laughing at the crowd of screaming fans.
“We’re letting them in.” The security guard called to me and I took my post. I gave the usual spiel and checked the long line of kids I.Ds against the list. I led them into the back room and watched them all run off to their favourite band member. I got about thirty kids ask for my photo and autograph. It was still weird. It would always be weird. I wandered over to Alex as he was jumping around waving me down.
“What do you want?” I laughed as I got close enough for him to hear over the dull roar. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest, wiggling his eyebrows at the kids standing near him.
“I broke up with her.” Alex whispered in my ear before spinning me under his arm and waving me off.

Notes

So... Drama drama! I promise you... It gets a thousand times more complicated than this... just you wait. ANYWAY!
Tell me what you think!
xx