Two Kids, No Consequences
I Am No More
Alex grins at me from the passenger seat as he admires the new and improved me.
We had been bouncing around all freaking day going crazy. First, I got the piercings. Next thing you know, I was at the hair salon getting weird colored hair. It took me almost forever to decide, but I finally chose pink that would fade into purple at the ends. It looks awesome as hell. After that, we went to go shopping for a new outfit. I got a pair of shredded leggings, a giant white shirt, and a cross necklace. I also got a bunch of bangle bracelets to hide the cuts. I kept my combat boots because I don't think I will ever be able to separate with them.
"Dude. You look freaking hot." Alex laughs while staring at me as I drive.
"Shut up!" I laugh at him smacking him upside the head playfully.
I had spent the whole day with Alex and he made me completely forget about John. We were getting along like two best friends that had known each other since middle school. It felt so nice to just laugh because I really wanted to, not because I felt like I had to. It was a completely new feeling to me and I was in love with it. I never wanted this feeling to end.
"So where to next Princess Diana?" Alex asked. He hadn't stopped calling me that all day.
"Um. I really don't know anymore." I laugh. What else was there to do?
"Excellent. Can you pull over for a second?" He asked with this crazy look in his eye.
I trusted him and pulled over. As I shift into park, he hops out of the car and opens my door for me.
"Get in the passenger seat. We are going somewhere." Alex says mischeveiously.
I obey, confused as hell but definitely excited. I knew whatever he had in mind would be fine with me.
We drive for about 10 minutes before he pulls up to a loft-type building. We park outside and get out of the car.
"So where exactly are we?" I ask completely lost.
"We are where I stay for the next 2 weeks." He smiles at me. "I think you should meet the rest of the guys."
Immediately I became nervous. What if they don't like me? Or what if they think I look weird?
Alex, sensing my hesitation, slings his arm around my shoulders and says, "Don't even worry. You're just like me so they will love you."
I relax a little and walk with him up the stairs. He swings open the door and lightly nudges me inside. I walk in first looking around in awe.
His loft was enormous. As soon as I step inside, I see old wooden floors and brick walls.The lights are out and there's a gigantic projection screen that is currently playing Spongebob. I look back to see one of his bandmates sitting on the big, black couch that is right in front of the projector. He glances over at us, waves, and then squints a little more trying to see who I am.
"Hey, Jack this is Diana. Diana, Jack." Alex introduces us.
I approach Jack and shake his hand. "Hi." I manage to squeak out.
"Hey there." He smiles up at me.
Alex grabs me around the waist and shows me the rest of the loft. There's a giant kitchen with a fridge full of beer, various liquors, and leftover pizza. He shows me the 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. This place is absolutely enormous. One of the rooms had a bunch of guitars, mics, and a set of drums. He shows me his room last and I gasp as I go in.
There is a giant, rounded bed that takes up the majority of the room. On the roof, are endless tapestries with such intriquite designs. His walls are covered with pictures of him and his bandmates, some of the crowds, and many of him and what I assume are his parents.
"Wow." I whisper to myself. "Your room is freaking awesome Alex."
He laughs and jumps onto his bed. "Thanks. It's my safe haven. Hey, can you pass me that guitar in the corner?" He gestures to the heavily worn acoustic guitar and I bring it to him. "Sit down. Do you mind if I play for you?"
I shake my head and sit on the edge of his bed, not wanting to get too close with him. He lies back on his bed and starts strumming a very familiar tune to me. It's Therapy.
He plays and plays and doesn't say or sing anything. I didn't even realize it but I had a few tears sliding down my cheeks as he played. I wiped them away quickly before he noticed. Not like he could, he has his eyes bunched shut, lost in the music. I found myself singing the lyrics in my head as he played. When he finished, we just stayed there in silence, letting the last chord dissapear into the silence.
"I love that song." I say quietly. "I bought the album at your show and I haven't stopped replaying that song since. Granted it's only been a day, but I still love it." I chuckle.
"It was definitely one of my favorite to write." He puts the guitar next to him and turns on his side so he's facing me. "It's really weird that we've only known each other for a few hours. It feels like it's been years."
"I know. I can't believe it." I sigh. I don't want this day to end. I don't want to go back to that house, but I have to. "Well this was really a life changing day. I feel so much better. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me." I thank him.
"It's no problem at all. Hey, do you mind if I get your number? I don't have much time left here, but I really want to see you again." He blushes at me.
I scribble down my number for him on a notepad by his bed. "Goodnight Alex." I say to him giving him a big hug. He smells like sweat and Axe, but it smells like home already. He towers over me and hugs back, tight. I leave without looking back and get into my car. I turn my radio up and listen to Therapy one more time on my way home.
I pull up to the house and grimace. There are way too many memories here. I really hate this. I unlock the house and step inside the silence. I decide I can't take this silence any longer and run back to my car, eject the cd, and go back inside. I approach the TV in the living room and put the CD into the DVD player. I blast the TV so loud, that I think I am going to blow the speakers. I decide now would be a good time to listen to the rest of the songs. I start of with "Weightless" and make my way to the kitchen. I grab the ice cream container, a spoon, and a blanket. I run into my room, grab my phone off the charger, and curl up on the
couch. I see I have 4 text messages.
"Diana, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry again. Are you home? Or maybe we could meet up and talk?"
"Please don't ignore me, I'm sorry. I made a huge mistake, please baby talk to me."
"I need you in my life. I just want to come home and spend forever with you. Diana, please. I will never do this to you again."
"Princess Diana! What's up? Let me know when you get home so I know you are safe."
Delete, delete, delete, annnnnd reply.
"Home safe, or back to the house. Whatever you wanna call this place. I swear I need to move out of here." I hit send, and surf my Facebook. 98 notifications, all were John liking pictures of us. Ugh.
Why do I even have a Facebook? It's not like I talk to anyone here. Besides, it's loaded with pictures of John and memories of what we used to be. This isn't who I am anymore. I go into my settings, and hit "Deactivate." A few seconds later, Facebook asks me why I deactivated my account. In "other" I type 4 simple words:
I am no more.
We had been bouncing around all freaking day going crazy. First, I got the piercings. Next thing you know, I was at the hair salon getting weird colored hair. It took me almost forever to decide, but I finally chose pink that would fade into purple at the ends. It looks awesome as hell. After that, we went to go shopping for a new outfit. I got a pair of shredded leggings, a giant white shirt, and a cross necklace. I also got a bunch of bangle bracelets to hide the cuts. I kept my combat boots because I don't think I will ever be able to separate with them.
"Dude. You look freaking hot." Alex laughs while staring at me as I drive.
"Shut up!" I laugh at him smacking him upside the head playfully.
I had spent the whole day with Alex and he made me completely forget about John. We were getting along like two best friends that had known each other since middle school. It felt so nice to just laugh because I really wanted to, not because I felt like I had to. It was a completely new feeling to me and I was in love with it. I never wanted this feeling to end.
"So where to next Princess Diana?" Alex asked. He hadn't stopped calling me that all day.
"Um. I really don't know anymore." I laugh. What else was there to do?
"Excellent. Can you pull over for a second?" He asked with this crazy look in his eye.
I trusted him and pulled over. As I shift into park, he hops out of the car and opens my door for me.
"Get in the passenger seat. We are going somewhere." Alex says mischeveiously.
I obey, confused as hell but definitely excited. I knew whatever he had in mind would be fine with me.
We drive for about 10 minutes before he pulls up to a loft-type building. We park outside and get out of the car.
"So where exactly are we?" I ask completely lost.
"We are where I stay for the next 2 weeks." He smiles at me. "I think you should meet the rest of the guys."
Immediately I became nervous. What if they don't like me? Or what if they think I look weird?
Alex, sensing my hesitation, slings his arm around my shoulders and says, "Don't even worry. You're just like me so they will love you."
I relax a little and walk with him up the stairs. He swings open the door and lightly nudges me inside. I walk in first looking around in awe.
His loft was enormous. As soon as I step inside, I see old wooden floors and brick walls.The lights are out and there's a gigantic projection screen that is currently playing Spongebob. I look back to see one of his bandmates sitting on the big, black couch that is right in front of the projector. He glances over at us, waves, and then squints a little more trying to see who I am.
"Hey, Jack this is Diana. Diana, Jack." Alex introduces us.
I approach Jack and shake his hand. "Hi." I manage to squeak out.
"Hey there." He smiles up at me.
Alex grabs me around the waist and shows me the rest of the loft. There's a giant kitchen with a fridge full of beer, various liquors, and leftover pizza. He shows me the 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. This place is absolutely enormous. One of the rooms had a bunch of guitars, mics, and a set of drums. He shows me his room last and I gasp as I go in.
There is a giant, rounded bed that takes up the majority of the room. On the roof, are endless tapestries with such intriquite designs. His walls are covered with pictures of him and his bandmates, some of the crowds, and many of him and what I assume are his parents.
"Wow." I whisper to myself. "Your room is freaking awesome Alex."
He laughs and jumps onto his bed. "Thanks. It's my safe haven. Hey, can you pass me that guitar in the corner?" He gestures to the heavily worn acoustic guitar and I bring it to him. "Sit down. Do you mind if I play for you?"
I shake my head and sit on the edge of his bed, not wanting to get too close with him. He lies back on his bed and starts strumming a very familiar tune to me. It's Therapy.
He plays and plays and doesn't say or sing anything. I didn't even realize it but I had a few tears sliding down my cheeks as he played. I wiped them away quickly before he noticed. Not like he could, he has his eyes bunched shut, lost in the music. I found myself singing the lyrics in my head as he played. When he finished, we just stayed there in silence, letting the last chord dissapear into the silence.
"I love that song." I say quietly. "I bought the album at your show and I haven't stopped replaying that song since. Granted it's only been a day, but I still love it." I chuckle.
"It was definitely one of my favorite to write." He puts the guitar next to him and turns on his side so he's facing me. "It's really weird that we've only known each other for a few hours. It feels like it's been years."
"I know. I can't believe it." I sigh. I don't want this day to end. I don't want to go back to that house, but I have to. "Well this was really a life changing day. I feel so much better. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me." I thank him.
"It's no problem at all. Hey, do you mind if I get your number? I don't have much time left here, but I really want to see you again." He blushes at me.
I scribble down my number for him on a notepad by his bed. "Goodnight Alex." I say to him giving him a big hug. He smells like sweat and Axe, but it smells like home already. He towers over me and hugs back, tight. I leave without looking back and get into my car. I turn my radio up and listen to Therapy one more time on my way home.
I pull up to the house and grimace. There are way too many memories here. I really hate this. I unlock the house and step inside the silence. I decide I can't take this silence any longer and run back to my car, eject the cd, and go back inside. I approach the TV in the living room and put the CD into the DVD player. I blast the TV so loud, that I think I am going to blow the speakers. I decide now would be a good time to listen to the rest of the songs. I start of with "Weightless" and make my way to the kitchen. I grab the ice cream container, a spoon, and a blanket. I run into my room, grab my phone off the charger, and curl up on the
couch. I see I have 4 text messages.
"Diana, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry again. Are you home? Or maybe we could meet up and talk?"
"Please don't ignore me, I'm sorry. I made a huge mistake, please baby talk to me."
"I need you in my life. I just want to come home and spend forever with you. Diana, please. I will never do this to you again."
"Princess Diana! What's up? Let me know when you get home so I know you are safe."
Delete, delete, delete, annnnnd reply.
"Home safe, or back to the house. Whatever you wanna call this place. I swear I need to move out of here." I hit send, and surf my Facebook. 98 notifications, all were John liking pictures of us. Ugh.
Why do I even have a Facebook? It's not like I talk to anyone here. Besides, it's loaded with pictures of John and memories of what we used to be. This isn't who I am anymore. I go into my settings, and hit "Deactivate." A few seconds later, Facebook asks me why I deactivated my account. In "other" I type 4 simple words:
I am no more.
Notes
Hope you enjoyed (:The more and more I write the more I realize that this is going to be a pretty damn long story. Hope you all are up for it!
Thanks for all of your support
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I vote for them everyday! It takes forever but let's hope they win :) and thank you so much!! You have no idea how much that made my day. Make sure to check out (if you haven't already) the sequel Stupid and Fearless. Also, I have another story called A Walking Travesty. Thank you so much for your support it's awesome :)
5/23/13