Two Kids, No Consequences
Fresh Start
I haven't stopped crying for hours. It's impossible to stop. I just look at this now empty house and feel like throwing up. I actually have thrown up about three times. I looked down at my wrist and see the fresh cuts across my wrists. Stupid, so stupid. I shouldn't have done that. He isn't even worth it.
I get out of bed for the first time in an hour. I pad my way into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. My face is swollen and red from crying, my eyes almost swollen shut. My wrist has 2 fresh cuts, one for each of the years I was with John. Just thinking of his name makes me angry and hurt. I haven't done this to myself ever. I just heard that it helps some people. It definitely didn't help me, it just made me feel silly. I know I am better than that, better than self mutilating myself for the asshole that cheated on me.
I dress my wounds and look more at myelf in the mirror. All of a sudden it hits me. I'm free. I am finally free to do what I want. I can be whoever I want to be, I can wear whatever I want. I am finally freaking free. I start laughing and smiling. I have never felt like this, so lightweight like nothing or nobody can touch me.
I quickly get dressed in a hoodie and sweats and grab my wallet. I leave my phone this time because I don't need it. I don't talk to anyone, and no one talks to me. But that will change. All of this will change.
I run out the door and jump in my car. I blast "The Reckless and the Brave" speeding to the nearest tattoo/piercing parlor. I pull up to the shop and walk inside. Everything is dirty, grungey, and creepy. I decide that I'm not going to be THAT crazy so I leave. I drive to another one about 2 miles down the road and am overjoyed when I step inside.
Everyone was laughing. The shop was well lit with white tile floors. There were tattoo designs coating the walls. It had a few back rooms that were all pretty large. There were about 5 people, all covered in tattoos from head to toe and piercings all over. They smiled at me as I came in and greeted me.
"Welcome sweetie. What brings you here?" one lady steps forward asking.
"I'm. I'm not really sure. I think I'm here for some piercings." I stammer. "I just was recentley freed so I am kind of new to this."
She chuckles. "Here, follow me to the back room. We can look through some pictures and you can choose what you want." The woman grabs my hand and directs me to the back room. "I'm Angie by the way and I will be doing your piercings."
"I'm Diana." I beam at her, more excited than ever. She had crazy blue hair and gauges the size of a quarter. She was thin, dainty, and had a certain fire behind her hazel eyes.
I follow her to the back room where I pass by someone I don't even look at. I am way too excited to care about anything right now.
"Diana?" I hear the voice say.
I turn around and see Alex. I was completely surprised and taken aback. "Hey!" I exclaimed, feeling gitty. "I wanted to tell you your show was incredible last night! I was really impressed. Not what I was expecting."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, clearly fake-hurt. "Nah I'm kidding. But I'm glad you came! I saw you while I was preforming and got really excited. I wasn't sure if you would come for sure."
"Of course I did. It was really an amazing night. I can't thank you enough for the pass." I thank him blushing.
"Well what brings you here?" He asks.
"I'm here to get a few piercings. I haven't chosen which yet." I said. "Do you wanna help me choose?"
"Sure." He says, clearly playing it cool.
We make our way into the back room with Angie and she hands me a binder full of pictures of piercings. I laughed with Alex as we saw some of the piercings. As I we looked through the binder, I realized that I didn't even ask why he was here.
"So why were you here?" I ask him.
"I actually just got this tattoo done." He shows me a freshly red rose tattood on his hand, the initials T.E.G written under it.
"Wow that's beautiful." I gasp. "What's T.E.G?"
"A long story." He replies quickly. "So have you decided which piercings you want?"
I was appalled at how many piercings you could have and where. Neck piercings, hand webs, wrist piercings? What the hell are they?
I choose hip piercings and a belly piercing for today. Better take it easy for now.
Angie starts disinfecting my skin. "Have you eaten anything today?"
My stomach rumbles. "Actually no. Not at all." I reply, remembering what happened earlier.
"Don't worry about it Ang. I'll take her to get some food." Alex jumps in quickly. "I mean, that is, if you are ok with it."
"Sure." I reply cooly, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.
We make our way out of the shop and I volunteer up my car. We drive to the closest place for food, an In-And-Out Burger. We order two burgers and two fries and sit down.
"So I overheard you telling Angie you are "freed". What is that suppose to mean?" Alex asks me with a mouthful of burger.
"Well. It's kind of a long story. But to make it short, I was dating a guy for 2 years who made me look how he wanted me to be. I never got to express myself. This morning I caught him cheating on me and ended it. It took me a while to realize it but now I can do whatever I want." I answered, trying to shorten my responce as much as possible. I reach across the table to grab the ketchup from Alex's side of the table and my hoodie sleeve creeps up my arm. Before I can pull my wrist away, Alex grabs it and looks at it.
"Did you do this?" Alex asks quietly.
"Yeah." I mumble. "It was stupid."
"It's ok. Don't worry about it. I will forget it's even there." He smiled polietly. "So what else are you going to do with your new found freedom?"
"Hopefully make some new friends. Maybe a hair dye job. I haven't quite put it all together yet." I answer excitedly. I realize that I am down to my last fry. That was crazy quick.
Alex notices too and laughs. "A girl with an appetite, I like that."
I blush and try not to make eye contact with him.
"Well I wasn't hungry anyway so let's get out of here." He says grabbing my tray and his.
We throw out the food and head back to the shop. Alex opens the door for me and it takes every muscle in my body to not run into the back room. I walk side by side with Alex.
"Will you come in with me? I'm really nervous. I've only had my ears double pierced." I begged, all of a sudden realizing how nervous I was.
"Sure." He replied.
I lie down and Angie comes in. "Excellent. So you have some food in your tummy, now it's time to get some metal on it." She grins from ear to ear. "Pick yourself some jewelry."
She shows me a case of barbells for my hips, and rings for my belly. I let Alex choose my belly ring, and I choose 2 simple clear crystal barbells. I chose not to see what Alex picked out for me until it was in my body.
"Ok. Lie back and relax. I am going to do your hips first." Angie says while disinfecting my hips. She marks two little dots on my hips where I assume she will pierce through. She grabs clamps and clamps my skin, moving it back and forth, positioning it correctly.
I wince a little and Alex grabbed my hand. I looked up at him with terrified eyes. "Don't worry. It will be ok I won't leave your side." He comforts me.
I take deep breaths and relax a little more.
"Ok sweetie now just take some deep breaths. When I say go, count to three and it will be done." Angie says looking at me. "Ok...go."
I count to three and feel the needle go through my skin. I make a little noise and squeeze my eyes shut, tight. I open them and she is threading the barbell in. "Wow." I gasp. "That wasn't as bad as I thought, but it still hurt like a bitch." I laugh up at Alex, who's face is pale white. "You ok?" I ask.
"Yeah I am fine, don't worry. You just squeezed my hand so hard, I thought it was going to fall off." He laughs.
We switch hands for the next hip so I don't break any fingers. The next piercings goes much more smooth, because I knew exactly what to expect. I admire my hips and almost cry. It's what I have always wanted.
Next is my mysterious belly ring. The belly piercing was nothing compared to my hips. I was relieved to say the least. Alex helps me up and I look at myself in the mirror. I gasp as I see what Alex chose.
It was a beautiful, dark pink stone. "Pink is my favorite color. This is beautiful. Thank you." I look up at him with my eyes full of tears.
"No problem." He grins at me. "So Princess Diana, what's next for you?"
Where do I even begin....
I get out of bed for the first time in an hour. I pad my way into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. My face is swollen and red from crying, my eyes almost swollen shut. My wrist has 2 fresh cuts, one for each of the years I was with John. Just thinking of his name makes me angry and hurt. I haven't done this to myself ever. I just heard that it helps some people. It definitely didn't help me, it just made me feel silly. I know I am better than that, better than self mutilating myself for the asshole that cheated on me.
I dress my wounds and look more at myelf in the mirror. All of a sudden it hits me. I'm free. I am finally free to do what I want. I can be whoever I want to be, I can wear whatever I want. I am finally freaking free. I start laughing and smiling. I have never felt like this, so lightweight like nothing or nobody can touch me.
I quickly get dressed in a hoodie and sweats and grab my wallet. I leave my phone this time because I don't need it. I don't talk to anyone, and no one talks to me. But that will change. All of this will change.
I run out the door and jump in my car. I blast "The Reckless and the Brave" speeding to the nearest tattoo/piercing parlor. I pull up to the shop and walk inside. Everything is dirty, grungey, and creepy. I decide that I'm not going to be THAT crazy so I leave. I drive to another one about 2 miles down the road and am overjoyed when I step inside.
Everyone was laughing. The shop was well lit with white tile floors. There were tattoo designs coating the walls. It had a few back rooms that were all pretty large. There were about 5 people, all covered in tattoos from head to toe and piercings all over. They smiled at me as I came in and greeted me.
"Welcome sweetie. What brings you here?" one lady steps forward asking.
"I'm. I'm not really sure. I think I'm here for some piercings." I stammer. "I just was recentley freed so I am kind of new to this."
She chuckles. "Here, follow me to the back room. We can look through some pictures and you can choose what you want." The woman grabs my hand and directs me to the back room. "I'm Angie by the way and I will be doing your piercings."
"I'm Diana." I beam at her, more excited than ever. She had crazy blue hair and gauges the size of a quarter. She was thin, dainty, and had a certain fire behind her hazel eyes.
I follow her to the back room where I pass by someone I don't even look at. I am way too excited to care about anything right now.
"Diana?" I hear the voice say.
I turn around and see Alex. I was completely surprised and taken aback. "Hey!" I exclaimed, feeling gitty. "I wanted to tell you your show was incredible last night! I was really impressed. Not what I was expecting."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, clearly fake-hurt. "Nah I'm kidding. But I'm glad you came! I saw you while I was preforming and got really excited. I wasn't sure if you would come for sure."
"Of course I did. It was really an amazing night. I can't thank you enough for the pass." I thank him blushing.
"Well what brings you here?" He asks.
"I'm here to get a few piercings. I haven't chosen which yet." I said. "Do you wanna help me choose?"
"Sure." He says, clearly playing it cool.
We make our way into the back room with Angie and she hands me a binder full of pictures of piercings. I laughed with Alex as we saw some of the piercings. As I we looked through the binder, I realized that I didn't even ask why he was here.
"So why were you here?" I ask him.
"I actually just got this tattoo done." He shows me a freshly red rose tattood on his hand, the initials T.E.G written under it.
"Wow that's beautiful." I gasp. "What's T.E.G?"
"A long story." He replies quickly. "So have you decided which piercings you want?"
I was appalled at how many piercings you could have and where. Neck piercings, hand webs, wrist piercings? What the hell are they?
I choose hip piercings and a belly piercing for today. Better take it easy for now.
Angie starts disinfecting my skin. "Have you eaten anything today?"
My stomach rumbles. "Actually no. Not at all." I reply, remembering what happened earlier.
"Don't worry about it Ang. I'll take her to get some food." Alex jumps in quickly. "I mean, that is, if you are ok with it."
"Sure." I reply cooly, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.
We make our way out of the shop and I volunteer up my car. We drive to the closest place for food, an In-And-Out Burger. We order two burgers and two fries and sit down.
"So I overheard you telling Angie you are "freed". What is that suppose to mean?" Alex asks me with a mouthful of burger.
"Well. It's kind of a long story. But to make it short, I was dating a guy for 2 years who made me look how he wanted me to be. I never got to express myself. This morning I caught him cheating on me and ended it. It took me a while to realize it but now I can do whatever I want." I answered, trying to shorten my responce as much as possible. I reach across the table to grab the ketchup from Alex's side of the table and my hoodie sleeve creeps up my arm. Before I can pull my wrist away, Alex grabs it and looks at it.
"Did you do this?" Alex asks quietly.
"Yeah." I mumble. "It was stupid."
"It's ok. Don't worry about it. I will forget it's even there." He smiled polietly. "So what else are you going to do with your new found freedom?"
"Hopefully make some new friends. Maybe a hair dye job. I haven't quite put it all together yet." I answer excitedly. I realize that I am down to my last fry. That was crazy quick.
Alex notices too and laughs. "A girl with an appetite, I like that."
I blush and try not to make eye contact with him.
"Well I wasn't hungry anyway so let's get out of here." He says grabbing my tray and his.
We throw out the food and head back to the shop. Alex opens the door for me and it takes every muscle in my body to not run into the back room. I walk side by side with Alex.
"Will you come in with me? I'm really nervous. I've only had my ears double pierced." I begged, all of a sudden realizing how nervous I was.
"Sure." He replied.
I lie down and Angie comes in. "Excellent. So you have some food in your tummy, now it's time to get some metal on it." She grins from ear to ear. "Pick yourself some jewelry."
She shows me a case of barbells for my hips, and rings for my belly. I let Alex choose my belly ring, and I choose 2 simple clear crystal barbells. I chose not to see what Alex picked out for me until it was in my body.
"Ok. Lie back and relax. I am going to do your hips first." Angie says while disinfecting my hips. She marks two little dots on my hips where I assume she will pierce through. She grabs clamps and clamps my skin, moving it back and forth, positioning it correctly.
I wince a little and Alex grabbed my hand. I looked up at him with terrified eyes. "Don't worry. It will be ok I won't leave your side." He comforts me.
I take deep breaths and relax a little more.
"Ok sweetie now just take some deep breaths. When I say go, count to three and it will be done." Angie says looking at me. "Ok...go."
I count to three and feel the needle go through my skin. I make a little noise and squeeze my eyes shut, tight. I open them and she is threading the barbell in. "Wow." I gasp. "That wasn't as bad as I thought, but it still hurt like a bitch." I laugh up at Alex, who's face is pale white. "You ok?" I ask.
"Yeah I am fine, don't worry. You just squeezed my hand so hard, I thought it was going to fall off." He laughs.
We switch hands for the next hip so I don't break any fingers. The next piercings goes much more smooth, because I knew exactly what to expect. I admire my hips and almost cry. It's what I have always wanted.
Next is my mysterious belly ring. The belly piercing was nothing compared to my hips. I was relieved to say the least. Alex helps me up and I look at myself in the mirror. I gasp as I see what Alex chose.
It was a beautiful, dark pink stone. "Pink is my favorite color. This is beautiful. Thank you." I look up at him with my eyes full of tears.
"No problem." He grins at me. "So Princess Diana, what's next for you?"
Where do I even begin....
Notes
Damn I have done a lot of writing today. Phew.Thanks for all of your rates/comments and subscriptions everyone! It really means a lot to me.
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I vote for them everyday! It takes forever but let's hope they win :) and thank you so much!! You have no idea how much that made my day. Make sure to check out (if you haven't already) the sequel Stupid and Fearless. Also, I have another story called A Walking Travesty. Thank you so much for your support it's awesome :)
5/23/13