Andy POV
Fuck! Now what am I supposed to do? I hurt the poor guy. Why must I always been so damn defensive all the time? Oh yeah cause if I'm not I get hurt. The only person in the world who has never hurt me is my Violet and she's probably with Jack right now. You know what fuck it. I need my purple eyed bitch. I’m going to call her.

I walk towards the door and head towards my car as I pull my phone out of my tight, black, leather skinny jeans. Her number is my number one speed dial. I call her and she answers right away in an annoyed voice,"What the fuck do you want?" "V I need to talk. Right now." Hearing the panic in my voice she simply says,"Your house?" "Yeah I'm not there yet but I'll be there soon," I say as I reach my car. “Alrighty then see you then,” she says before hanging up right as I get to my car. I open the door climb in, and begin the journey home to the most important person in my life.



Alex POV
Oh shit I can not believe I called him pretty! He is probably so weirded out by me. He'll never talk to me again. Fuck I am so fucking stupid! My breathing is getting heavier. Shit! To make matters worse I'm having a fucking panic attack.

I get to my car and quickly get in. It's times like this when I'm happy I live a 10 minute drive away from the school. The drive home goes by so fast I'm suprised when I realize that I'm there. I get out, slam the car door, race to the front door and unlock it, and run to my room.

By the time this I'm in a full out panic attack. I quickly go for the razor I've hidden in my desk and pull my pants down. I cut fast and deep. I don't even care at the moment. I cut and cut and cut feeling the anxiety flow out of my body.

When I finally calm down I set the razor down and look at the beautiful mess I've made. I'll feel like shit later for it , but for the moment I feel great, alive.

Andy POV
Thank the non existent god that Violet is already here. She's sitting on one of the chairs on my porch. I get out of my car run and pretty much jump on top of my best friend. "Shit Andy you're so much bigger than me so get your fat ass off of me," she yelled at me trying to push me off. She succeeds and I fell on my ass. She laughs until she sees the hurt on my face. "What is it? What happened baby?" I get off the ground and sit in the chair across from her and told her everything that had happened with Alex. "...and now I have no idea what to do," I moaned and put my face in my hands. "Andy look at me," she commanded,"Good. Now all you have to do is call him and explain to him why you reacted that way. He'll understand. No matter what you think of him, Alex is actually a pretty cool kid. Trust me I've spent quite a bit of time with the guy. I should know." I sighed and looked up at her,"Fine I'll try it when you leave. So how are you and Jack?" She blushed crimson and mumbled,"Fine." "Does he know about that one thing yet," I ask her, curious. "Yeah I told him before I left. Speaking of him I gotta go work on our song. I’m writing the lyrics because I don’t trust him. Remember the boner song,” she giggles,” Bye babe." She gets up and kisses my cheek. "Call him," she says as she walks across the street to her house and gets in her car and drives away.

I sigh and unlock the door and go to my room. I close the door in case one my parents get home while I'm on the phone. I get my phone and his number out of my pocket and hold my breath as I dial his number, worried about where the conversation would go.

Alex POV
I'm laying in my bed soaking in the numbness I created when I hear my phone ring. I reach for it without looking at it and say,"What the fuck do you want Baraslut." confident that it's my best friend, so I'm shocked when I hear a completely different voice giggle and say,"Sorry I'm not him."

Oh my god it's Andy, and he just giggled! What do I say? "Hey Andy," god I am such a nerd. Why couldn't I have said something better? "I just wanted to apologize for earlier...." I cut him off saying,"It's fine really. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I got a bit emotional." "No it's not. I was an ass not you. Now keep quiet and let me explain some things to you. When people get forced to do projects with me I usually get saddled with all the work because they don't want to be seen with an "emo fag" like myself. I get teased quite a bit too based on the clothes that I wear, the music I like, my hair, the fact that I’m a guy who wears makeup, and the fact that I'm bisexual. It's hard for me to trust people. Hell, the only person I trust at all is Violet. So that's why I snapped at you. I'm sorry and I hope you'll forgive me."

Oh shit. I didn't know all that. What he's bi? I thought that Jack said he was gay. I’m so going to kill him later. "I thought you were gay," I blurt out and mentally slap myself right away. Andy laughs and says,"Most people think that because of the make-up, but nope I'm bi. Boobs are great. You don't mind do you,” he asks curiously. "Not at all. In fact I think that I might be gay," I tell him before realizing what I was saying. Fuck!

Andy POV
Holy shit did he really just say that?! "Fuck fuck fuck fuck,"he mutters clearly upset. "Hey Alex it's fine. You can tell me anything,"I tell him to try to calm him down. "How is it fine?! Why did I have to tell you that?! Fuck me!," he pretty much yells. "Alex calm down alright. It’s okay. Everything will be okay. Just talk about it okay?" I hear his heavy breathing slowly slow down. "I'm so sorry about that Andy,"he said sounding embarrassed. "It's fine. Are you sure you're okay?" I ask him worried. "Yeah I'm fine. Can you do me a favor and not tell anyone about what I said before?" I sigh,"Sure but if you ever want to talk about it I'm here," I tell him.

Alex POV
Shit I can't be having another panic attack so soon. I look around and grab the one thing I know won't let me down. I don't even pull down my pants, I simply cut my arms not giving two shits about the consequences. I don't cut much. Just enough to calm down. After that I try to change the subject as quickly as possible to our project just to get off the topic. We make plans to go to my place after school the next day to get started on it.

We hang up not too long after that and I look down at my arms. I really can't believe I cut twice in one day and one of those times was on my arms. I really shouldn't have cut there but fuck I was in a hurry. Looks like it'll be hoodies and longs sleeves for a while. I sigh and go to the bathroom and clean up my arm.

Notes

So I thought that I had posted this forever ago, but it turns out that I didn't. Sorry about the delay. I'm working on the next chapter and it will be up soon. Oh and I know have a twitter for my fics. I'm going to do lots of things with it relating to my fics, so I'd go follow it. It's @jagkdoesitbeter. Well anyways hope you like the chapter!