Wanted Man

-Alex’s Point of View-

“My brother, was killed by a man named Jack. I’m going to find him and make him die. I’m going to cause him as much pain as he’s caused me and my family. I’m going to make him suffer” I said in a voice so calm, it even scared me.
I don’t know where my sudden outburst came from, but I was starting to feel things for Jay, and maybe if I got his help, we could find Jack and put an end to him.
It might even be a kind of closure for me, and I could allow myself to be with Jay.
Jay dropped the piece of bread he had just lifted to lips with a sickening smacking sound as the gooey butter hit the table.
He had turned a ghastly shade, almost as if all the color has been drained from his face.
Shit, I had probably scared him.
I talked about killing another man for heaven’s sake!
“Jay.. I uh.. I just.. He needs to be brought to justice.. I’m not a violent person, really!” I said throwing my hands up in the air.
“It just tore me apart when he took Tom from me. It broke our family. Tom was a good guy, really! This Jack.. He was a crook!” I continued, trying to get Jay on my side. I didn’t want to lose him just because he couldn’t understand the rationale behind my words.
He was starting to shake, and at first I thought he was frightened, but I soon realized that this was anger.
Crap.. I don't know what to do here. I hadn’t ever seen Jay angry.. What if he just got up and left? I don't know if I could handle that. Even if I haven’t opened up yet, but I’ve still told him things, and it would break my heart to see him leave now.
“Jay.. Say something.. What’s wrong…” I said, my voice giving away my nervousness at his response.
He clenched his jaw, “Did you even know this Jack guy? What if he wasn’t all bad? What if he was only doing what he thought he had to…?”
Images flashed in my head of Jack.. Scared of Tom.. Scared of dying.. Gay and alone, rejected by our town..
But then the tides turned and I saw him cheating my brother out of his life, killing him with a trick and running away, leaving me in ruins.
“Why are you defending him!?!?” I practically screamed, not at Jay, but at myself. I could see the good in Jack, and I didnt want to.
Jay to cringed once again.
I sighed, “I’m sorry Jay.. I just want to go and find him. I want him to feel what I’ve felt all these years. I want to make him pay. Please.. I can’t do this alone.. I’ve been struggling for ten years in solitude, and I just need someone else with me. Help me find him, or at least stay and keep me company. I swear Jay, I’m gonna go crazy” I begging, my voice starting to crack as I felt tears brew in my eyes.
I didn’t want to cry in front of him, but it hurt. Why couldn’t he understand? Why couldn’t anyone understand?
He looked down for a moment, and then back at my eyes.
“Lex.. I.. I’m.. Fuck.. Yeah, sure.. I’ll help you find him” he said, his eyes showing his inner turmoil, as if his words didn't betray him there already.
I placed a hand on his shoulder and I felt him shudder slightly at my touch, “Thank you Jay.. Thank you.”
"Revenge won't get you anywhere though.. It's a vicious cycle you can't ever escape. Sometimes people just make mistakes.." he whispered and I pretended not to hear him, returning to eating breakfast as if nothing had happened.
Its been two days, and honestly, its been the best two days of my life.
I only hope I can keep him here beside me.

Notes

Title Cred: Candles by Hey Monday
Oh my that's quite a short update for such a long chunk of time.
Yes.. I realize this..
BUUUUUUUUUUUT
I've been on break for some vacation ish.
AAAAAAAAAAAND
I'm now co-writing on a story called Bite the Bullet so check that out y'all!
I'm excited, and Amanda is so nice and talented and stuff.
I know I keep promising I'll get on a schedule.. I'm working on it.