Guts

*Okay guys its Alex again, Jack got to have his fun, so now back to me (I swear I’m not as conceded as Jack!*

It was day two in the hospital and my father was flying in to be with me. Maria and Jack hadn’t left my side and my mom only did to go to work, against her will though. It took Jack and Maria and hour to convince her I would be fine that someone would be by my side at all times. Great I was on suicide watch. We didn’t talk much. It seemed like they were afraid to say something to upset me and I was okay with that, I was not in the mood to talk. I didn’t want to end up like Tom. What had come over me? I just felt so upset, like there was a huge black cloud looming over me.

Jasey had seen my scars and now she hated me. I’m not sure Jack or the others saw them, but after this I was defiantly going to be the suicidal emo kid everyone picked on. I was pretty sure after I got out of the hospital that everyone would leave me, that they were only sticking around for pity.

I could feel tears starting to form, great just great. It hurt so much to move since I was being weaned off the pain meds so I didn’t even bother trying to wipe them away as they cascaded down my face. Maria noticed and came and wiped them away never saying a word.

A little bit later a nurse came to check up on me and asked how much pain I was in on a scale of 1-10. I was at like an 8 but I lied and said 3 because I deserved the pain. She gave me a sympathetic look and checked my bandages, which still covered most my body. She then walked to Jack and checked his hands and rubbed something on them. Why was she doing that? What had he done to his hands?

I gave Maria a questioning look and she just told me to ask him. After the nurse left I asked him what had happened and he told me not to worry about it. He told me he would tell me if I told him why I did what I did. I took a deep shaky breath and told him. I told him about the cutting after my parents told me about their divorce, I told him how Jasey and I started making out and she took off my shirt and saw the scars. She freaked out and left. I told him I couldn’t take what would come next, the humiliation, the name calling, and all the bullying. I had been through it with Tom, and now it was going to happen to me. I was terrified of that happening.

Maria had tears in her eyes and hugged me, gently, and told me that neither she nor Jack would ever do that to me. They would never judge me but we should have talked to them instead of harming myself. She told me I was like a brother to her and she couldn’t stand the thought of losing me.

Jack was sitting in the corner quiet and I looked over to him and his hands were balled into fists and I could see blood dripping on the floor. He looked pissed. I went to ask him what was wrong but Maria walked over to him and started massaging his fists and whispering to him. He took a deep breath and walked over to me. I finally had a good look at his hands and they looked like they had been burned and he had dug his fingernails into his palms and opened the blisters to make them bleed.

He grabbed my shoulders and shook me and I could see tears in his eyes. He told me I was so stupid! That I should know better, he wouldn’t judge me. He started crying and just laid his head on my shoulder and cried. Telling me I was stupid for not trusting him and to never do that to him again or he would kill me. After about ten minutes of crying he got up and whipped his eyes and told me about his hands. He told me that once he heard the shower come and that the door was locked he panicked. He was afraid for me because he knew about Tom. He was terrified and told Zack to break down the door. He didn’t know what else to do. Once the door was broken down he rushed to the tub and without a second thought reached in for me. He pulled me out and in the process burned himself. Not bad but enough to blister.

I was shocked. He was that worried for me? He actually burnt himself trying to save me? I looked up at Maria who was still crying and at Jack whose eyes were red rimmed from crying and realized just how much I truly meant to them and how much they meant to me.
I got out of bed slowly and walked to both of them and hugged them. It hurt but I didn’t care, these people had saved my life and without them I could have killed myself. I swore to them I wouldn’t do it again and we all started crying again.


We heard someone clear their throat and looked in the doorway, it was my dad.

Notes

So my phone broke and I am heart broken </3
Anyway how are you guys doing?
I'm enjoying the rain here so I think you guys might get a happy chapter...maybe lol

xoxo ^.^