Time-Bomb

I got a good job on a talk show helping behind the scenes. Basically, I got coffee, bagels, and whatever all day for the people on the show. It paid well and it got me to forget about Alex. Until one day . . .

I woke up and got dressed. I got Josie breakfast. Let me tell you something. Did I mention how hard it is to forget about someone when your daughter is a miniature female version of them? Very.

I loved Josie more than life, but she had a way with using her father's eyes to get what she wanted. And she was only three, so she had no way of knowing how much it hurt me just yet.

So anyway. I dropped them off at Bailey's house and went to work.

"August!" my extremely annoying boss sighed impatiently.

"Yes, Mr. Bartlett?" I asked.

"We have a band coming this morning. Give them anything they want while they wait to go on." he told me. That band? It turned out to be, you guessed it, All Time Low.

I took care of them without looking at Alex. He'd been trying to catch my eye, but I resisted. The guys were really cool. They'd never been divas, but they didn't ask for much and they made sure they told me everything they needed before I left to get it so I didn't have to run around as much.

Finally, they went on, and I kept my head down while I made Mr. Bartlett's usual coffee order. That worked well until Alex's and my eyes met at the end of their acoustic performance. Then I lost it. I left as soon as I could.

"August, wait!" Alex called.

"You know, you picked a great time to walk back into my life. Josie turned three a week ago and she still asks where you are every fucking day. Do you realize how hard that is?" I told him.

"You told me to leave! I wanted to help, but you didn't want me." he retorted.

"Why don't you just give me enough gifts to cover three birthdays and four Christmases and be done with it?" I asked him.

"Because I want to come back into your lives for good. I feel like I could buy you everything that exists and I'd still be in debt for what I did, so the only thing I can do is try to convince you to let me in and see if I can make up for the past three years that I missed in your lives. I wish I could go back in time and see you all change instead of seeing the country, which would've been there for years, but what’s done is done." he said. He took a deep breath. "Can I take you out to lunch and you let me visit Josie and we catch up?" he asked.

"No." I replied stubbornly.

"Fine. You leave me no choice." he said calmly. It happened quickly. He ran at me, throwing me over his shoulder and running off.

"Put me down!" I screamed, pounding him on the back.

"Nope!" he laughed. He hadn't changed a bit.

I kicked him in the gut. He groaned, dropped me, and I ran off, but he recovered and caught me by the waist.

"You're not going anywhere." he whispered in my ear.

"Fine. But you have to be out of my house by three this afternoon." I warned.

"August! That's not fair! I haven't seen Josie in three years and you give me three hours?" he retorted.

"You could've had three years if you hadn't treated me like shit for nine months then left." I ranted.

"How many times do I have to apologize?" he sighed.

"Three years worth ought to do it because all that time I dealt with breast feeding, late nights, not having a clue as to why Josie could be unhappy, paying bills, and attending college while worrying about her all day. While you were off fulfilling a dream, I was dealing with a nightmare and I hope I wake up soon, because I'm done." I ranted.

"Please! Give me another chance!" he begged.

"You had plenty back in high school." I replied.

"Don't you know who our song “Jasey Rae" is about? Fuck it, every song is about you!" he asked suddenly.

It all fit. The whole "lost love" vibe and my middle name. How could I not have seen it? And the other songs. Remembering Sunday. Just, every single one. I’d painstakingly followed their music, so that I wouldn’t lose the sound of his voice. But never in a million years did I think he’d been singing about me. Tears welled up in my eyes and I started sobbing. He took me in his arms.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm sorry I made you cry." he mumbled, rubbing my back until I stopped crying.

"Now do you believe I love you?" he asked. I nodded. "Then let's go out to lunch." he said and we did so.

--

We found a nice Italian restaurant and got a table.

"So what've you been up to?" I asked.

"Well, after we left, we re-recorded a bunch of stuff, then put it out on an EP. Then we went on Warped Tour and a bunch of other tours. Then we started recording So Wrong, It’s Right, then released that, then went on a bunch of tours. We finally sat down to write Nothing Personal and record that, and it’s coming out next month, and now we’re about to go on Warped. You?" he told me.

"Well, I graduated from Towson University and I got a job on the show you were on this morning, and that's it." I told him.

I noticed how Alex had changed. It seemed impossible, but he was taller and less skinny. Not that he was fat, but he had visible muscles. The stubble on his chin and neck was no longer that of a teenage boy, but of a man. He still had brown hair, but it was straighter now and his skin was tanner.

He was wearing a flannel shirt, despite the fact that it was summer, dark skinny jeans, and his usual Nike Dunks. Well, some things never change. I noticed he had a tattoo on his arm, of a skeleton in a skeleton costume.

--

We met back at my house after I picked up Josie.

"Momma, who's that?" Josie asked, half-hiding behind me.

"That's your daddy." I told her and she ran, trying to hug both of his legs, but even though his legs were skinny, she couldn’t get her short arms all the way around. Alex chuckled and bent down to play with her.

Watching him with Josie was like watching Godzilla turn into a bunny. I let him stay long after three o'clock.

"Okay, I better go-" Alex said.

"No!" Josie cried and attached herself onto him.

"I'll be back, I promise." he told her, but he eyed me, secretly asking about the accuracy of his promise. I nodded, letting him know it was okay. Right then, Bailey came in.

"Can you watch them?" I asked her.

"Sure!" she smiled and we left.

"Why'd you want to come?" Alex asked, once we were in his familiar silver Audi.

"I dunno." I answered awkwardly.

"Why did Josie get upset when I said I was leaving?" he asked.

"Well, you just came into her life and she doesn’t want to lose you. I get that every morning." I explained.

"Woah, I'm really sorry." he mumbled.

"It's okay. But can you try to stay around? I need help and I love you." I said.

"Of course. If you'll let me." he replied.

"I will." I promised.

"Hey, I was wondering . . . wouldyoucomeontourwithus?" he asked awkwardly.

Notes

What was that Alex?

comment and rate and I'll see ya next Saturday!

xoxo

Hayley