I finally arrive home, throwing my bag onto the first step on the staircase. The weather was getting a lot hotter. Alex eventually persuaded me to go around to Jacks, I guess it's better than stay in at home with Drew doing nothing all bloody night. Luckily enough, we swapped phone numbers, he told me to text him when I was ready so he could pick me up, well, that seems fair enough.

I walk into the kitchen, straight to the fridge and I pour myself a cup of orange juice. I walk past my dining table, mum left a note:

"I'll be back at 11, hope you both had a great first day, I'll see you when I get home, love you x"

I read it whilst sipping my orange juice. I lay it back down on the table for Drew to read. I walk through the hall and up the staircase, dribbling some of the juice on some of the stairs. I curse to my self as I enter my bedroom.

I sit in front of my mirror that was still leaning against my bed, I brush my hair out from my ponytail, and straighten the wavy parts from when it got soaked by Zack earlier, I also reapply some foundation and mascara seen as it has all rubbed off throughout the day.

I raid through my wardrobe, throwing half a dozen t-shirts onto my floor, until I find one. It was Matts old Blink-182 one.

"Here, take this, you might need to wash it, but I just want you to have something to remember me by..."

I can even hear his voice saying that in my head. My eyes fill with tears, of regret, self hate and pity. I wish I could change what happened. But I can't. And it haunts me day after fucking day. I sigh, slowly sitting fully down, It even smells like him. I sit for a moment. No, you're not bringing yourself down for something that's in the past.

Tonight is the start of my new life. Anyway, less of all of this, I look through the clean washing for some plain black leggings, nope, none there. I think I'll just wear my skinnies again.

I check the time, it's 4:50, I need something to do. I open my curtains for a change and tidy up the mess of clothes I threw out of my wardrobe ten minutes ago. I walk downstairs and into the kitchen, putting my empty glass of orange juice with the rest of the breakfast dishes. I begin to text Alex, beginning to get butterflies for tonight.

"Hey, I'm ready. It's Jess by the way." Send message.

I sit up on the counter as I hear Drew walk through the door. "Jess? You home?" He shouts, he sounds concerned.

"In here-" I shout back, "what's up?"

He walks through quickly, throwing his bag onto the dining table, "Nothing-" he murmurs, whilst scanning over the note that Mum wrote this morning.

The sun was shining through the windows of our kitchen, making dust particles visible. My phone vibrates on the counter, shuddering through the cupboards, making it sound ten times louder.

Lex: "Okay, I'll set of in a minute! :)"

"Mum text saying there's money for a pizza-" Drew begins, before I interrupt.

"I'm going out?" I say quickly, gathering a small bag, one of my hoodies and my earphones. I walk back into the kitchen. He was looking at me like I've just punched him in the face or something.

"Who said you could go out?" He says, laughing sneeringly, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, seen as I've just made the plans, I'd have to go with, er, nobody?" I respond peacefully, messing with my hair in the mirror.

"You're not going out-"

"Yes I am." I need to stop interrupting him in all seriousness. "I haven't been out since we lived back in England, I need a life, Drew." I say as I catch a knock at the door.

"Jess, you dare walk out of this house." He whispered angrily at me, I just ignored him for a few minutes. He's never been like this before. Well a few times, he's just like Dad was.

I pick my bag up, throwing my jacket over my shoulders. "Drew, calm the fuck down" I growl through my teeth. "I'll be perfectly fine."

I open the door, Alex was stood there with raised eyebrows, he was wearing dark blue skinnies, a plain black t-shirt. I could feel Drews eyes burn onto the back of my head. "Hey" I say quietly, letting a smile show through the corners of my mouth.

"Uh, I brought my car-" he says before noticing Drew stood in the kitchen doorframe. "So I'll just drive us round.. To Jacks" He says, smiling, dangling his car keys, making them twinkle in the orange sunlight.

I hear Drew cough behind me, I turn around, throwing the 'piss off' look at him. Finally, he walks off, giving up, letting me go with Alex.

"I didn't know you could drive?" I say quietly whilst we slowly walk over to his car.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Jess." he smiles over the roof of the car and then jumping in, charming, leave me to open the door for myself, then. "Zack's not going to be able to make it tonight by the way, he has an assignment, so, it's just you, me, Jack, Ri and Cass." I could feel his eyes on me as he spoke, firing up the engine.

I nod, biting my bottom lip, I pretend to text, praying to myself that the tension wouldn't get too much.

Notes

(edited)

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