Promise Me One More Time?
I forgive you.
Alex's POV
God
Fucking
Dammit
I thought as Jack told me it would take a while for him to believe me again. I began to cry again and laid my head on his chest. I listened intently to his steady breaths as he rubbed his hand over my hair. It felt so good to be back with him. It felt nice to have him this close to me. I had missed his touch.
Stop that, faggot.
You're just making it worse.
Jack doesn't want to see you again.
You should go kill yourself.
Everyone would be better off.
The voice cut into the moment and I lifted me head up sharply. I held my hands to my head and stomped on the ground. I didn't need this. I didn't this this fucking voice to come back.
"Leave me the fuck alone! That's not true!" I screamed and Jack shot up in his hospital bed.
"Alex?" He asked, worry clear in his voice.
I was having a breakdown now. I had fallen to the floor and laid there sobbing. Nothing oculd make this worse. Nothing at all. I had just made the one person I actually loved try and kill himself and now this fucking voice was back. I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to deal with it. Now I felt like the one who should kill themself. Maybe it would finally make the voice go away. Maybe if I did what it asked it would finally stop the torment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack's POV
Something had snapped in Alex. He was on the floor sobbing and I had no idea what I should do. A lot of me wanted to get up and hug him but part of me was afraid that he would become violent towards me. Shifting into a comfortable sitting postion I called Alex's name again.
"Alex?"
"It won't go away..." He mumbled through sobs as he remained on the floor.
"Please come up here, Lex. I need to comfort you." I said as I moved to the side of my small hospital bed. It broke my heart seeing him like this. It broke my heart seeing the unbreakable boy break. He always seemed so arrogant and confident, like nothing could touch him and now he was here sobbing on the hospital floor.
I watched as he stood up slowly and shuffled over to my bed before flopping down beside me. I instantly took him into my arms and held him tight. I ran my hand through his hair. Doing this had always calmed him down and I knew it would help. His tear stained face looked at me and I felt like I could melt from his huge brown eyes.
"J-Jack," He stammered and I nodded my head, showing him he could continue.
"I love you." He said as he nuzzled back into my side, a small smile appearing on his face.
I was a bit shocked by his words but didn't refuse them. I didn't give a fuck if he was just saying it because of the situation. It felt nice being wanted for once. It felt amazing having someone tell me that they loved me. Those were the three words I begged my whole life to hear from someone.
I pulled his chin up and he looked at me with those eyes that made me melt. Pulling him closer to my face, I leaned in and put my lips to his soft ones. A smile spread across my face as he kissed back and I let my eyes shut. I finally felt wanted in life. I felt like I mattered.
Our moment was interupted by the loud yelling of a voice that I knew all too well. It was my druken alcoholic father and he was not happy. I pulled apart from Alex quickly and Alex about fell off the bed trying to move away from me.
My father was livid. He was blinded with rage as he ran towards me and grabbed arms, jerking me forward.
"Faggot!" He spat as he connected his fist with my jaw.
"You worthless faggot!"
"I can't believe I ever considered you my son!" Another punch. This time he hit me right in the middle of my nose.
He then turned to Alex and growled at him.
"As for you," He paused and was about to hit Alex as I jumped off of the bed and in front of Alex. My father's fist hit me right in the abdomen and I doubled over in pain. This was worse than anything I've ever experienced before. Somehow, I worked up the strength to look my father in the eye.
"No! You can't touch Alex! He's the only person who actually fucking cares about me!" I shouted as my father backed away a bit. He was probably afraid of a nurse walking in and finding the scene.
He let out a laugh. A cruel and cold hearted laugh.
"Well, I won't have a faggot in my family. You can get your stuff whenever you're realesed and never come back. I don't want to see you again. Ever." He spat as he left the room, a horrible cold hearted smile plastered on his face.
I stood up fully and looked at Alex who seemed terrified beyond belief. I took him into a tight hug and let a few tears fall. I was surprised I actually had any tears left after everything that had happened. Picking me up a bit, Alex brought his lips to my forehead and kissed it softly.
I brushed a strand of hair out of Alex's face and looked into his eyes. I wasn't sure if I actually meant what I was about to say but I thought it was right.
"Alex?"
"Yes?"
"I love you, too."
God
Fucking
Dammit
I thought as Jack told me it would take a while for him to believe me again. I began to cry again and laid my head on his chest. I listened intently to his steady breaths as he rubbed his hand over my hair. It felt so good to be back with him. It felt nice to have him this close to me. I had missed his touch.
Stop that, faggot.
You're just making it worse.
Jack doesn't want to see you again.
You should go kill yourself.
Everyone would be better off.
The voice cut into the moment and I lifted me head up sharply. I held my hands to my head and stomped on the ground. I didn't need this. I didn't this this fucking voice to come back.
"Leave me the fuck alone! That's not true!" I screamed and Jack shot up in his hospital bed.
"Alex?" He asked, worry clear in his voice.
I was having a breakdown now. I had fallen to the floor and laid there sobbing. Nothing oculd make this worse. Nothing at all. I had just made the one person I actually loved try and kill himself and now this fucking voice was back. I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to deal with it. Now I felt like the one who should kill themself. Maybe it would finally make the voice go away. Maybe if I did what it asked it would finally stop the torment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jack's POV
Something had snapped in Alex. He was on the floor sobbing and I had no idea what I should do. A lot of me wanted to get up and hug him but part of me was afraid that he would become violent towards me. Shifting into a comfortable sitting postion I called Alex's name again.
"Alex?"
"It won't go away..." He mumbled through sobs as he remained on the floor.
"Please come up here, Lex. I need to comfort you." I said as I moved to the side of my small hospital bed. It broke my heart seeing him like this. It broke my heart seeing the unbreakable boy break. He always seemed so arrogant and confident, like nothing could touch him and now he was here sobbing on the hospital floor.
I watched as he stood up slowly and shuffled over to my bed before flopping down beside me. I instantly took him into my arms and held him tight. I ran my hand through his hair. Doing this had always calmed him down and I knew it would help. His tear stained face looked at me and I felt like I could melt from his huge brown eyes.
"J-Jack," He stammered and I nodded my head, showing him he could continue.
"I love you." He said as he nuzzled back into my side, a small smile appearing on his face.
I was a bit shocked by his words but didn't refuse them. I didn't give a fuck if he was just saying it because of the situation. It felt nice being wanted for once. It felt amazing having someone tell me that they loved me. Those were the three words I begged my whole life to hear from someone.
I pulled his chin up and he looked at me with those eyes that made me melt. Pulling him closer to my face, I leaned in and put my lips to his soft ones. A smile spread across my face as he kissed back and I let my eyes shut. I finally felt wanted in life. I felt like I mattered.
Our moment was interupted by the loud yelling of a voice that I knew all too well. It was my druken alcoholic father and he was not happy. I pulled apart from Alex quickly and Alex about fell off the bed trying to move away from me.
My father was livid. He was blinded with rage as he ran towards me and grabbed arms, jerking me forward.
"Faggot!" He spat as he connected his fist with my jaw.
"You worthless faggot!"
"I can't believe I ever considered you my son!" Another punch. This time he hit me right in the middle of my nose.
He then turned to Alex and growled at him.
"As for you," He paused and was about to hit Alex as I jumped off of the bed and in front of Alex. My father's fist hit me right in the abdomen and I doubled over in pain. This was worse than anything I've ever experienced before. Somehow, I worked up the strength to look my father in the eye.
"No! You can't touch Alex! He's the only person who actually fucking cares about me!" I shouted as my father backed away a bit. He was probably afraid of a nurse walking in and finding the scene.
He let out a laugh. A cruel and cold hearted laugh.
"Well, I won't have a faggot in my family. You can get your stuff whenever you're realesed and never come back. I don't want to see you again. Ever." He spat as he left the room, a horrible cold hearted smile plastered on his face.
I stood up fully and looked at Alex who seemed terrified beyond belief. I took him into a tight hug and let a few tears fall. I was surprised I actually had any tears left after everything that had happened. Picking me up a bit, Alex brought his lips to my forehead and kissed it softly.
I brushed a strand of hair out of Alex's face and looked into his eyes. I wasn't sure if I actually meant what I was about to say but I thought it was right.
"Alex?"
"Yes?"
"I love you, too."
4/26/13