It's just a dare. How bad can it be?

Jack's P.O.V.

I completely just opened up to Alex, something I haven't done with anyone....but it didn't hurt too much. I mean, I'm used to my mom, & my dad doesn't deserve my pity, guilt, or regret. Alex keeps asking me about the damn aquarium though! From all the pictures I've seen around his house & on his facebook, he seems to really like the aquarium....I did too, just not anymore. I remember going everyday....Anyway, that's where I'm taking Alex today. The aquarium. I think I can manage to spend the day with Lex here....hopefully. If I'm in a bad mood, I always have the Kings Of Leon concert to look forward too! I scored us some tickets.

"THE AQUARIUM?!" Alex yelled out. He had the biggest & cutest smile on his face. He really does love coming here. I laughed at how childish he looked, yet he was just so cute.

"Jack, I thought you didn't like it here..." Alex spoke, now less excited. Thought's rushed through my mind but I just shook my head.

"No, no. I l-love it here.....I guess I was just in a bad mood before.." I spoke.

"Babe, I'm not buyin' it, but I'll let you tell me when you're ready." Alex spoke, kissing my forehead.

"Okay, well let's go inside!" I said, trying to sound as excited as him. I can't. I'm terrified. We both got out of the car & Alex looked like a little kid at a children's museum. He was jumping around & smiling at everything, we weren't even inside yet. We were still standing in line for our tickets.

Once we were inside, Alex grabbed my hand & dragged me to where the sharks were. We watched as they swam around in the tank. Alex got his phone out & took a few pictures before dragging me off to the Piranhas & doing the same thing. I was enjoying this, actually. But then we headed towards the area where all the big, ugly, fat fish were. I don't know what they're called, but they were really ugly. This area was really, really close to the Jelly Fish area....I really hoped Alex wouldn't want to go in there.

"Jack, you having fun, babe?" Alex asked me, tugging my arm. He had that goofy smile on his face. I love him so much.

"Yea, Lexy." I replied. Then he kissed my cheek & took my hand. He started walking towards the dark room to where the Jelly Fish were. Fuck, man. Why?! We entered the Jelly Fish room it was dark, the only light was coming from inside the tanks, not even too bright. There were a few tiny lamps here & there that lit up the big room.

"Lex, do you like these things? They seem really boring." I said, trying to get him to want to leave this area.

"NO! I love these! They're my favorite part!" Alex yelled, not taking his eyes off the tank with the small Jelly Fish. We walked over to the huge glass, where you could see all the giant Jelly Fish. They were so vibrant, it was hard to take my eyes off of them. The more I looked at them, the more I realized what Jelly Fish I was looking at. It was one me & Dan named when we used to come here.....I started to feel tears in my eyes. Dan. This is what I didn't want to happen. I knew it was the Jelly Fish because, the right side of it had a huge scar. We named it Jeffree.

I smiled a bit, remembering all the good that came from coming here everyday. Then I remembered all the bad. You see....Dan was my cousin....We came here everyday, the Jelly Fish were our favorite. Dan was my favorite cousin, we were more like brothers if you ask me. There wasn't a dull moment with Dan, you'd always somehow have fun being around him.
I don't like coming here anymore though....the last time we came here was the last time I ever saw him. Alex & I are standing in the same spot, Dan & I were when he....when he told me he was in love with me....

I just I could have taken back what I said...If I just would have changed what I said, he wouldn't be dead.



**Flash black**

"Hey, it's Jeffree! Jack, I found him!" Dan yelled, smiling at me. I ran over to where he was with Jeffree. We both watched him swim around, he was beautiful. We took quite a few pictures with him. I think we seemed a little too attached to this Jelly Fish. But he's great.

"Man, I love coming here." I spoke. Dan smiled at me & I smiled back at him. Dan's awesome! I don't know what I would do without him.

"Hey, Jack. Don't you think it's funny how we're both gay?" Dan asked. I laughed, it actually kinda was. It's not often there are two gay people in one family.

"Yea, it is. It just sucks....our moms don't even accept it..." I said back, frowning. Dan put an arm around my shoulder & tried to comfort me.

"Jack, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, your opinion is the only one that does." Dan always knew how to make me feel better.I just nodded. "Do you...do you think things happen by chance or by choice?" Dan asked, looking at me, as we both lean against the thick glass.

"Mmmm....." I thought for a second. "Chance." I replied.

"I do too....t-that's why it was....by chance that I....f-fell in love with you." Dan spoke.

I froze for a second, than looked over to Dan with wide eyes. I didn't know what to say....I-I don't feel that way...he's my cousin, he's like a brother. Fuck, what do I say? He's in love with me? I don't want to hurt him. Th-that's disgusting! How could he be in love with his own cousin?! With me?!

"Jack....if It was my choice, it wouldn't be this way...I know it's wrong, I've loved you for so long. Please, tell me you feel the same way..." Dan had tears in his eyes. I felt bad, disgusted, but bad. It's not really his fault, I guess....but...how can he even think I'd feel the same way?....

"N-no! Dan, that's disgusting! Wha-what's wrong with you?! You're my cousin! I'd never fucking love you that way!" I was yelling at Dan, I hadn't realized he was sobbing now. People were starting to stare. I felt embarrassed. This is gross. Everyone's gonna think this is terrible.

"J-jack....I'm fu-fucking sorry....It's not my fault." Dan cried out. My stomach was in a knot. I didn't want to see him.

"Get the fuck away! Leave! I don't want to see you...." I spoke, I was so angry. It's not his fault. But I'm angry.

"F-fine...you won't be seeing me ever again...I love you, Jack." Dan cried. He went off running & everyone in the room went back to doing there own thing. I didn't even know what to do, how to feel, what to think. I was so angry & confused. I felt myself start to cry now. Things won't be the same for us now....

After Dan had left the aquarium I went home to my mom, she was on the couch...crying. She told me to sit down, she had something to tell me. I sat down & listened to every word she said. It all felt like a dream....this couldn't be real....Dan left a voice message on my mom's phone.

"Hey, it's Dan....(crying) I just....I just wanted to say goodbye to the best aunt In the whole world. I'm sorry, (crying) I'm so sorry....I know you might not like me too much, because I'm gay...or whatever else, but you won't have to worry about me anymore. Jack....if you're listening to this, I just want you to know....(crying)...I fucking love you. I'm in love with you & always will be. I'm just sorry that you couldn't feel the same way, & I'm sorry that I'm just not strong enough to deal with this....(crying)....goodbye, Jack. You won't have to see me ever again."

Then the voice message ended. My heart was down in my stomach & my mom was sobbing.

"JACK, LOOK WHAT YOU FUCKING DID TO DAN!! HE WASN'T SHIT LIKE YOU ARE!! HE SHOULD BE MY SON!! NOT YOU, DAMMIT!! WHY CAN'T YOU THINK!!" My mom was yelling at me. She was screaming. I felt so guilty. I needed to find out if he was okay....what the fuck did I do?! This is all my fucking fault!

I went to my aunts house, there were paramedics everywhere, she was crying in the kitchen & my uncle was trying to calm her down. Then she saw me.

"YOU!! GET THE FUCK OUT!! YOU KILLED MY SON!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!" She was angry at me too. She hates. me. This is my fucking fault! She started running at me, she got one punch at me before my uncle pulled her away.

"You're not welcome here anymore. Tell your mother the same." He simply said to me, with tears covering his face. I felt terrible.

"Where's Dan?! I'm not leaving without seeing Dan!" I yelled. I was crying now too. I ran upstairs to check his room....and there it was....His body hanging from the ceiling fan....a belt tied around his neck...a chair on the ground.....one of the paramedics took me out of the room. All I could do was scream.

"Dan!!! No!! Fuck, fuck....Dan! You're not dead! You're not fucking dead!!" That's all I could say. I was crying & screaming & It felt like my whole world was crashing down on me. It was my fucking fault! I killed him!

**End Flash Back**




I was being shaken out of my thoughts by a rough hand on my shoulder.

"Jack, baby! Jack, are you okay?" Alex was shaking me. Once I came back to reality, I realized I had been crying this whole time.

"Jacky... what's wrong? Are you okay, baby?" I couldn't answer Lex. I was too heart broken. The memory bought me back to how I felt when I saw Dan for the last time...when I saw him dead...why my mom's hooked on drugs...why I have no contact with my aunt or uncle anymore...why everything went to complete shit & it was all my fault. If I would have just changes what I said...he'd be alive.

"We're going home, Jack." I was shaking now & Alex took me to his car, he sat me in the seat & he began to drive. I didn't say a whole thing there. I just cried.

Notes

I'm sorry it's so damn sad. But now you know what happened to Jack & why he hates the aquarium so much.

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