Here’s another break in time. Everything was calm and fine in the month of May. We were together, Alex. Our days were made of late night phone calls, hanging out with Jessie and Jack, and days spent doing nothing but losing ourselves in the early summer. Then, of course, came June.
I glared at the calculus homework in front of me, wishing the problems would solve themselves. My phone rang, the chorus of Thanks For The Memories by Fall Out Boy piercing the silence in my bedroom. Sighing, I answered the phone, not bothering to look who was calling.
“Hannah,” Jessie cried from the other line. “Jack...overdose...oh god.” I only made out a few words of what she was saying, but knew exactly what had happened. I threw my phone on my bed and rushed out the door barefoot, and in my pajamas.
By the time I got to Jessie’s, my feet were sore and I was soaking wet from the Baltimore rain but I didn’t care. I barged in, hearing Jessie’s sobs coming from upstairs. I followed the noise to Jack’s room and froze at the sight before me. You held Jack up so he sat up right. You had your fingers down his throat, forcing him to throw up whatever he took. My best friend sat next to you and her brother, tears staining her cheeks. I rushed to where you guys were, on the floor at the end of Jack’s bed. “C’mon, Jack!” You yelled, forcing your fingers down his throat. He gagged a bit and threw up, and a hopeful glimmer lit up inside of my chest. You repeated making him throw up, until finally, Jack woke up.
It seemed like it was in slow motion, from Jack opening his eyes to Jessie’s cry of joy. From the tears of relief clouding in my eyes, to the hug you and your best friend shared.
I don’t know why, Alex, but I find something about that night beautiful. I don’t know. I think it was the feeling of relief we all shared, the look on Jack’s face to see us, how we were always hugging Jack and thanking God our best friend was still alive. I just...I truly think there was something amazing about how all four of us loved one another so much. Almost too much.

“I don’t know, Han, I just...I almost lost him,” Jessie said as we lay in her bed later that night. I knew Jessie was going to be fucked up from her brother’s overdose for a while, so I promised to stay with her as long as she needed. And you promised the same for Jack, Lex.
“I know,” I said through the darkness, searching for her hand to assure her that I was here for her.
“Do you think he did it on purpose?” She asked after a minute of silence. I thought about it for awhile, and shrugged.
“Well, I don’t think he would, but who knows?” I replied softly.
“Yeah,” She responded. “Who knows?”

We continued to stay with Jessie and Jack for a few days, you and I. I carefully watched Jack. No matter what he was doing, I wanted to observe it, and I noticed a few things. One: Jack Barakat really loves fixing his hair. And two: He hadn’t touched coke for three days. I think he scared himself pretty well. Don’t you, Alex? However, he was going through withdrawals, but thankfully it was only cocaine and not heroin. Otherwise he would be throwing up his lungs instead of not being able to sleep. Thankfully.