“You know, if I could, I would just drop everything, grab you and take off to Mexico,” You said as we sat in Jessie and Jack’s basement while Jessie and Jack took some brother-sister time and went out for lunch. It was our second week staying with Jessie and Jack, and everything was slowly getting back to normal. Well, as normal as could be.
“Why Mexico?” I chuckled. You gave me a cheeky grin and poked my nose.
“Because, my love, that’s where all the coke is.”
My smile fell from my face and I looked down. “Why do you do it?”
“Why do you cut?” You replied. Only you could make that sentence sound so loving. I nodded, understanding where you were coming from and kept my mouth shut. “No, seriously, why?”
“Didn’t you ask me that already?” I said, forcing a small smile as I wrung my hands. You pulled me closer to you.
“Yes, and I’m asking again,” You said. I sighed, thinking about why exactly I did cut.
“I cut because it’s a way for me to live, to truly feel alive,” I said looking down. “To feel anything.” I then understood your point, and shut up. We sat in silence for a minute, enjoying each other.
“Can I ask you something?” You said out of the blue. I nodded, willing to give you any answer you wanted. “Do...Do you believe in demons?”
I froze, keeping my wide eyes locked onto the carpet. I felt my throat close up, but I forced myself to talk. “Why do you ask?”
“I dunno,” You said nonchalantly. “Jack just got me thinking about some stuff...just forget I said anything.” I nodded slowly, more than welcome to the idea of forgetting.

But, to answer your question, Alex. Yes. I do believe in demons. I believe people have that dark force living in the back of their mind, quietly existing, waiting for the right moment to wake up. Most of the time, it never does. But some of us aren’t that lucky. Some of us are born with the madness controlling our minds. For some of us, the madness wakes up at the most random time. And sometimes, you catch someone’s madness.

I think that’s what happened to me. I think I caught Jessie’s madness for so long, forcing it on myself. Until, of course, the madness finally got both of our brains. I also think being around Jack so much, awoke Jessie’s madness. From the first moment we saw the glint of insanity in his eyes, to the point where he asked me the same question. But, I was young then. I didn’t know what insanity was exactly. But, now I do. Now I know the cost of insanity. And now I know that our minds are out to get us.

I’ve learned to somewhat control my demon over the past years. I’m sane--or I appear to be, until that moment when it finally breaks down the wall I’ve built to cage it in and teaches me that no matter how perfect the person may seem, they still have that demon. That darkness in the back of their mind. That madness, that insanity. And I just hope they’re stronger than I was.

Oh, Alex. You were the only sane one out of us all. I put on a pretty good show. Faking a smile, and never letting people see me when I’m vulnerable. It’s a lesson I’ve learned, and it’s simple. As long as you shut up and smile, people will think you’re normal. They won’t ask you about those nights when you’d give anything just to feel something, breaking mirrors because you can’t stand to look at yourself. They won’t ask you why you have those panic attacks. They won’t ask why you feel comfort in making yourself bleed.They won’t ask why you live in terror of your best friend. They won’t ask. Because they won’t need to. Because you are sane.

Notes

I really liked writing this one for some reason O.O