The problem with telling this story, Alex, is that there are many breaks in time. I don’t like breaks. I prefer that everything be together and organized. This particular break isn’t because I repressed another memory, but it’s because everything quieted down for a little while. Nothing ever stays that way, though. That I’ve had to learn the hard way. And when everything came flooding back like a broken dam, it was two years later.
Jessie waltzed into my room one Saturday with a goofy grin. I was fifteen by then, Alex. “Brent Smith is having a party tonight, Han,” Jessie said smiling wickedly. I hesitated. Jessie and I had just started high school and I didn’t really like the idea of us going to a party with seniors. “C’mon! It’ll be fun!” Jessie whined, noticing my doubt. I turned it over in my mind until I reluctantly agreed.
That was when I met you, Alex. I remember that night like it was yesterday. When Jessie and I got to the party, she split off to go to the dance floor while I stayed against the wall, sipping my beer contently. I noted everyone’s cliques. In the middle of the dance floor, the popular girls grinded against each other, trying to look attractive when honestly they just looked like oompaloompas having seizures. In the far corner were the jocks that were drinking out of a keg and being complete idiots. And so on and so on.
I stood up and made my way up the stairs, looking for the bathroom. I stumbled in on two couples trying to get it on before I actually found one. Which was occupied.
You turned around at the sound of the door opening. You were hunched over the toilet with the seat down. Your eyes were red and there were traces of a white powder on your nose. I felt my stomach drop and I moved to return downstairs. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”
“No, it’s fine,” You interrupted wiping the white substance off of your nose. I awkwardly stood by the door as we stared at each other. Your eyes scanned my face and your lips curved into a smirk. You turned back to the toilet and snorted another line. “I don’t suppose you’re into this stuff?”
“How’d you guess?” I chuckled awkwardly wringing my hands. You turned back to look at me again and raised an eyebrow.
“By the way you’re shaking like you’re a baby deer and I’m a lion.”
You stood up and made your way over to me. I felt my eyes widen, but I didn’t move. Something in your brown eyes told me it was useless trying to run from you, not that you were going to hurt me. We were as close as could be and you looked into my eyes as if you could read me so easily. “Well, you’ve almost got it. But, I’m not the one you need to worry about.” You then lightly pushed me off to the side and walked out of the small bathroom, not giving me a second glance. I watched after you, mesmerized by the way you walked like nobody could touch you.
Oh, Alex. My love, Alex. You were right to not spare me another glance that night. If only you would’ve done that forever, then maybe none of this would’ve happened. Of course, I would still be fucked up. But, then maybe I could’ve held on to the bit of sanity I had left.

Notes

Woah, two chapters in one day? Hey, what can I say? I'm feelin rebelious :P