Long Live Us

*Jack's pov*

"Come onnnn lets do somethinggg it's an early finish!" Jack whined at the boys sitting around him. It was Friday, the end of the full first week, and after two more periods they were off for the weekend. Yet none of the boys wanted to do anything. None of them. Jack wondered how his friends were so boring, and here he was trying to convince them to do something for the evening. Rian was spending the night with Cassadee who was "definitely not his girlfriend", Josh had training in the morning, Dan had his drum lesson, and Max couldn't be bothered. Which just left Alex. Jack wouldn't mind spending time with him, he just wanted him to come out of his shell and let Jack in. But even Alex was saying he was busy. When none of them said anything, Jack sighed and leant back - admitting defeat.
"Fiiiiine. I hate you all." The group then descended into normal chit chat about everything and anything. Jack felt two arms drape around his neck, and turned around to see Jenna standing there.
"Hey gorgeous." She said, ruffling his hair. He pouted at her, pretending to scowl as he fixed his hair. Tay and Cass were standing behind her, and as Jenna pulled up a chair next to Jack, Tay went and sat with Alex and Cass with Rian. It was strange to Jack seeing Alex interact with anyone else but him. He felt protective, and quite fond of the new boy. To Jack, seeing Alex with Tay almost felt like a betrayal, but he pushed the feeling away, reminding himself that he could do what he want and it was weird and pathetic to get so protective over someone - especially a guy who he'd only met recently.
"Come see me tomorrow." Jenna said to Jack, making him turn back to the blonde.
"I can't I've got therapy." He murmured so nobody else would hear. Only Jenna knew about therapy, and she only knew half the story of why he even went. She nodded, seemingly annoyed at herself for forgetting. "
Why what's up?" Jack asked her, and she shook her head saying "nothing just wanted to hang out." Jack smiled, and began playing with her little finger. "
Such a cutie aren't you?" He said, making her laugh. The two would often pretend they were going out, as a joke to annoy others. The pair began to talk about anything they hadn't already spoken about. Jack was sure someone was watching him, he could feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of his head, but he assumed it was just Josh trying to annoy Jenna. Again. Nobody seemed to believed that a girl and a boy could genuinely be just friends. Jack would admit they did flirt, but it was friendly. He could never see Jenna as more than a friend, and he knew he was the same in her eyes. They were both so used to it now that it was normal to hear "there is no way you two are just friends!" at least once every day.

After two lessons of compulsory RE, the bell went for lunch and the school was dismissed. Jack waited at the gate, his hands shoved into the pockets of his blazer as he tried to keep them warm. He let out a massive sigh when he saw Ellie come out before Matt - as this meant there was no way to get away from her. She wandered up to him, happy and chirpy as always and began blabbering on about whatever was on her mind. After what felt like hours, Jack spotted Matt walking down the drive.
"Fucking finally Flyzik!" He called as his friend approached. Matt stuck his middle finger up at Jack, before the trio wandered too the bus stop and hopped on the bus home. Because they finished early, the bus was empty - something which was a novelty to school kids. A mere thirty five minutes later, Jack was back home. His mum was still at work, but had told him she was only working normally hours and would be back by five, so all was good. Running upstairs, Jack decided he'd go and play guitar outside. It was something Jack loved doing, although it was slightly more enjoyable in summer. He loved feeling like it was just him and his guitar in their own pretty little world. Jack quickly changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a Blink top, throwing on a grey hoodie and grey beanie so he wouldn't get cold. He slipped on his vans, grabbed his acoustic guitar and made his way outside. He sat in the same spot he always did - right in the middle of the garden. It was the place that was the last bit in the sun during summer, and the bit that stayed the warmest in winter. He sat down, placing his guitar on his lap and began strumming. His fingers led him to play All The Small Things, and he sang out loud as he did so. The chords came easy to Jack as he'd spent most of his life with a guitar in his hands. Music was what had helped him through his depression when his family fell apart, and Jack couldn't live without it. His dream was too one day make music that would save others, just as music had saved him. He was snapped out of his thoughts by hearing his name. He stopped singing and playing, turning around too see if his mum had come back early. She hadn't, and there was nobody in the garden, so Jack shrugged it off as hearing things. As he went too start again, his name sounded again. This time he turned the other way, too see a figure waving out the window of the house next door. Jack frowned. He had never met the new neighbours, how did they know his name? Jack waved back, confused and slightly freaked out. Even more so, when the boy shouted back "hang on stay there!" before disappearing. Jack sat completely still, having no idea what to do or what was going on. Moments later, the boy appeared at the fence. Jack instantly recognised him up close.
"Alex?!" He called questioningly, getting up and walking over to the fence. Sure enough, it was Alex. His small frame was now covered by skinny jeans, a grey top and an unzipped black hoodie. "Since when did you live next door?!" Jack asked as he reached the fence. Both boys looked at each other in complete shock at the fact they were neighbours and neither of them had had any idea for the past months.
"I didn't know you could sing!" Alex said, sounding impressed. Jack scoffed.
"I'm not a great singer, the guitar has my heart" he said, kissing his guitar, making Alex giggle. Jack thought it was cute the way his dimples dented his cheeks and his teeth would peek through from under his lips whilst his eyes shone. 'Wait, Jack what the hell?!' He thought to himself. He couldn't be falling for this boy, surely not? Definitely not. Alex was just a new friend.
"Do you play?" Jack asked the boy, who shrugged.
"Kinda I guess. I'm better at singing...or that's what I've been told at least." He said, smiling shyly.
"I bet you're amazing! Come show me now." Jack said, putting his hands on his guitar. He saw fear flash in Alex's eyes, so gave him a massive, encouraging smile which seemed to do the trick. Jack had made a mental note of the panic attack Alex had nearly had, which has scared the life out of him. If it happened now, or ever, Jack would feel terrible. He already felt like a guardian to the boy - despite being the younger of the pair. It was weird for him, because he rarely felt so much for somebody so new in his life. Jack began to strum the intro to All The Small Things again, and Alex began to sing. Jack watched the boy in amazement, his voice was beautiful! It was soft and smooth, perfectly tuned and Jack was taken away. Alex's eyes had scrunched up through concentration and Jack knew he was in a little word of his own underneath his brown hair. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Jack had to admit it, he'd never considered himself to be gay, but the small boy standing in front of him, with his bushy eyebrows and small pink lips, was star strikingly beautiful. As Jack ran his hand down his guitar for the last chord, Alex opened his eyes and they stood there, eyes locked for what seemed like an age.
"Wow." was all Jack could manage, as Alex's face turned dark pink as he blushed.
"I'm not that good.." He mumbled, awkwardly running a hand through his hair.
"Not that good?! You're fucking awesome Alex!" Jack said, his mouth still hanging open in surprise. Alex shook his head and began playing with the hem of his shirt. Jack thought it was adorable the way Alex got all nervous. After staring for a few moments, he blurted "why don't you come over?" He wasn't sure why, but he asked, and felt like an idiot when Alex just looked at him with a strange look. "I mean, you don't have too-"
"No, why not, I want too. Give me five minutes." He replied with a smile, before heading back to his house.

Five minutes later, Jack opened the door and invited Alex in. There was the awkward few minutes when a new person enters your house - because they're taking everything in and you're not sure what to do, so Jack stood at the door for a moment next to him. When Alex had come back down to earth, Jack decided to head upstairs so they could just play video games. Jack headed straight in and flopped onto the bed, whilst Alex hesitated at the door. The room wasn't too messy, and there was a bookshelf on the left when you came in and then his wardrobe, the bed was on the right behind the door, and opposite was Jacks desk with the tv and xbox on it, as well as a few school books - although most of Jack's school stuff was stuffed into the drawers under the desk. The walls were covered with band posters, which Jack noticed the newcomer smile and nod in approval at. Once he'd looked round the room, Alex wandered in and perched on the end of the bed, looking around awkwardly. "What do you wanna play?" Jack said, standing up and walking over to the Xbox and the stack of games. Alex just shrugged, so Jack decided on Black Ops Zombies. Flopping back onto the bed, he handed the controller to Alex and started the game. After a few minutes, Alex began to relax, and sat further onto the bed and began talking to Jack more. By Round 8 of the game, they were shouting at each other what to do, and when both of them died they looked angrily at the other before bursting into fits of laughter.
"You're so shit at this!" Alex said to Jack between laughs. Jack raised his eyebrows and replied "rich coming from you!" The two boys spent a few hours playing various games, and then they heard the front door open.
"Mum's home." Jack grumbled to himself, getting up and standing at the top of the stairs, Alex following behind him. "Hey mum, I've got a mate over, this is Alex." He said, waving at him. "
Hey Mrs Barakat." Alex said politely, receiving a smile from Jack's mum.
"Nice to meet you, sweetie. Are you staying for dinner?"
"Ermm.. I don't think so, sorry."
"Don't apologise, another time I'm sure." She finished, before walking into the kitchen. Jack led Alex back into his room and perched on the bed.
"Your mum seems nice." He said softly, sitting next to Jack.
"Yeah, she is. She's hardly ever here though, you might not see her again like ever. Rian's only met her a few times and I've known him 6 years. Sometimes it feels like Jenna's here more than mum is." Jack replied, shrugging. It was true. He kind of cared, kind of didn't. He was used to it, but it still hurt. There was silence for a few moments, before Alex's phone began ringing.
"Hello? ... I'm at a friend- ... He lives next door don't worry... Okay I'm coming...bye." Alex groaned after he hung up. Looking up at Jack he said "sorry I've gotta go, thanks for having me though."
"Anytime, literally just hop over the fence s'all good with me!" He replied, and the two boys laughed as he walked Alex too the door. Jack gazed out as Alex walked out of the driveway and down the one next door. Sighing contently, despite already missing his company, Jack shut the door and headed back upstairs. Knowing the rest of the day would drag, Jack headed upstairs, grabbed his guitar and practiced the music for his assessment with Jenna.

The following morning, Jack was awoken by the alarm on his phone reminding him to go to therapy. Dragging himself out of bed, he plodded along to the bathroom for a shower. Once he was pleased that he was clean and awake, he hopped out and quickly wrapped a towel round his hips and running to his bed room. He picked out grey skinny jeans and a red and black checkered shirt, decided to put on his red vans and his duffer jacket. He quickly dried his hair, styling it to perfection, and quickly straightening down the bit sticking out by his ear, before putting on hairspray. By 9:30 he was ready, so made sure he had his phone, earphones, Oyster card, keys and some money, he walked out the door and headed too the busstop. It was a damp, and quite cold morning, and last night's rain covered the plants and dotted the roads with puddles. The bus came quickly, which Jack was thankful for, and he arrived at the therapy room 10 minutes early, so ran and brought a Starbucks from across the street. Pushing open the small white door, that was half hidden between the two shops either side, Jack entered the place. The first room was the waiting room, with a desk right at the door, and chairs lined up against the wall. There was a small tv facing the chairs, and magazines stacked up on the small table.
"Morning Jack." The reception women said. She was the only receptionist to have ever worked while Jack had been attending therapy, so she knew everyone. She had long chocolate brown hair, and bright blue eyes, and perfect white teeth. Today she was wearing a simple black dress, and Jack often wondered how she had ended up at such a crappy job - but apparently she liked helping people and that made her happy. Jack nodded his greeting, sipping his coffee and sitting down in one of the chairs. He was normally alone, and today was no different. Bang on 10:30 his name was called, and he made his way round the corner and into one of the three rooms. Whether Jack liked the room, and his therapist, depended on the mood he was in - and today he felt good. The room wasn't very big, with a desk in the middle with chairs placed either side. A bookshelf in the back corner, and a dodgey looking plant in the other. Penny, Jack's therapist, sat on the far side of the desk, clicking a pen and staring blankly down at a sheet of paper. Her blonde hair was in a plait down her shoulder, her glasses perched on the end of her nose, her usual lipgloss making her lips sparkle. From what Jack could see, she had a white blouse on with a black bow at the collar, and a blazer over it.
"Morning sweetie." She greeted him, smiling at him.
"Morning." He replied, plopping down in the chair.
"You seem chirpy today. What's happened this week?"
Jack shrugged, "nothing really, it's been a plain week I think."
"And your mother?"
"Yeah she's fine, she was at home every evening this week." Jack smiled, he liked it when she could tell Penny something good - which wasn't all that often. It was weird for Jack, he rarely felt like he could genuinely trust anyone, and not many people knew everything about him, yet Penny did. He's opened up to her about everything - his mum, his dad leaving, his sister and brother moving away, everything about Jenna, obviously she knew about his depression, and his past self harming, and every detail about everyone at his school. He had no idea why, or how, he had come to trust the women but he did.
"That's good," she smiled, looking him in the eye, "I feel like you're holding something back. What's up?"
Jack sighed. He hated how well she could read people. He knew exactly what it was - it was Alex. He wanted to tell her how this new boy had entered his life, and had taken his breath away. How he was drop dead gorgeous, how he was making Jack question his sexuality, how he lived next door and had an angelic voice that Jack couldn't get out of his head.
"It's a boy isn't it?" Jack snapped his head up, frowning at her. How did she know? What the hell? He wasn't even gay? Or at least he hadn't admitted it fully yet. Sighing, he decided to give in.
"Okay, yes, maybe, sort of..."
"Spill honey." And so Jack told her everything. Every detail from how he had swung his head a particular way to hide his face on the first day, to the way his eyes scrunched up when he laughed, to him singing at the fence. Everything. And it suddenly hit Jack, that he was beginning to fall very hard for this new boy. When Jack had finished, the blonde asked the inevitable question: "have you ever considered you might be gay?" To be honest, he had. A lot more since Alex arrived, but it had often crossed his mind. He had always been the one to go "hey being gay isn't a bad thing" if people bitched about it, and often would find him judging "how hot" guys were with Jenna. Sighing, Jack admitted his biggest fear. Well, it wasn't a fear of being gay itself, it was fear of everything that could, and probably would, come with it.
"Maybe..." he mumbled to Penny, fiddling with the end of his sleeve.
"Maybe that's why you've been unhappy in the past. Maybe you haven't seen yourself for who you really are. Maybe this guy coming into your life will help you, and by the way you talk about him I have a feeling you might be right. That's my opinion, go and talk to Jenna. I know you haven't yet - I can just tell - but she'll help and we both know she won't ever turn her back on you." Penny replied, looking right at Jack, who nodded in reply, smiling and silently thanking Jenna for being in his life.

After half an hour of general chit chat, Jack thanked Penny and left. He wandered too the busstop, deciding he would pay Jenna a visit. Twenty minutes later, he jumped off the bus and wandered up to the door. He fumbled about in his pockets, found his key and let himself in. Jack and Jenna were so close that their parents had decided to get keys cut for the other so they didn't have to knock constantly - or try and jump over the fence, as Jenna had once had too do when Jack was asleep.
"That must be my Jack!" He heard a women's voice say as he closed the door.
"Heyyyy Mrs McDougall!" Jack replied, walking into the kitchen where Jenna's mum was stood. She was a lot like Jenna, except with brown hair. Her eyes were always bright, and she was always smiling. She had welcomed Jack as one of their family, and Jack was very fond of both Jenna and her mum. After speaking for a few minutes, about the usual stuff like 'how's school?' And 'how's your mother?', she left for work, telling Jack that Jenna was still asleep. Jack decided to make Jenna breakfast in bed. He grabbed a frying pan and turned on the oven, ripping open a packet of bacon and putting then on the grill along with a sausage and cracked an egg into the frying pan. He grabbed a glass and poured two glasses of orange juice - knowing that was the only thing Jenna would drink when she first got up. When everything was finished, Jack found a tray and arranged everything on a plate and then onto the tray. Plodding upstairs, Jack decided he was going to tell Jenna about Alex. Everything. He knew he could, and knew he would need her, and today would be fine to do that. Jack made his way along the landing and into Jenna's room.
"Hey sleepyheaaad." He murmured, placing the tray down and turning her lamp on. Jenna's room was covered in posters and photo's. There was a special section that Jack loved - because it was for him. Jenna took photos of everything, as memories, and would put most of them up somewhere. By her bed, was the section of Jenna and Jack. At the top, Jenna had written "Mr Barakat and I". There was a picture of Jenna and Jack on a trip in year 7, and one when they went to New York, and one from Brooklyn, one from the year 11 prom, one from the last day, one of Jack with Jenna and her mum when he went to Australia with them. There were loads. Jack smiled and teared up, like he always did when he looked at the montage. It was cute. It meant so much to Jenna, and it did to Jack as well.
"Jack?" A sleepy Jenna mumbled groggily from the bed, so Jack told her to sit up and put the tray on he lap. Jack smiled as Jenna's face lit up, and she tucked in. "I love you so much, you know that right?" She said through a mouthful of food. Jack laughed, nodding.
"Uh huh. The best boyfriend that's not a boyfriend you'll ever have!" He said winking at her, watching her as she laughed and nodded her head in agreement.
"How come you've come round then?" She asked when she'd finished.
"I wanted to talk to you..." Jack replied, hesitantly. Jenna's eyes narrowed as she tried to work out what it could possibly be. "It's nothing bad...well not really...it's not about you...I just want your advice..."
"Go on." She said, placing her hands over Jacks as he sat on the bed.
"Have you ever wondered if like, I dunno, maybe I was ... gay?" Jenna's eyes lit up, and her mouth dropped open.
"Shut upp?!" She said, questioning Jack. "Oh my god, it's soooo this new Alex kid!" And Jack knew he'd turned a bright shade of red because Jenna squealed with excitement. "Tell me everything Jacko c'mon!" She pestered. Sighing, Jack started.
"So like, since he started I thought he was I dunno, kinda cute I guess. And like every time I see him I just find another thing about him that I like, and I loooove spending time with him, and we just sorta gel together. I dunno... he's seriously perfect but... he's a GUY?!" He finished, sighing again.
"Who cares if you're gay? That's adorable! You'd be great together - but don't rush into anything. As long as you still love me then I'm all good with everything, I approve." She smiled cheekily at Jack, who shook his head at her. He looked down to the floor, torn. This wasn't how he'd planned anything, he wasn't even 100% sure. How do you find something like that out about yourself? Jack had had girlfriends, and long lasting relationships, and sexual ones - how could that all be nothing? The dark haired boy now found himself doubting his whole life and everything about himself. Had it all been a lie? He felt an arm wrap round his waist, and he glanced up to see Jenna sitting beside him.
"Look, Jack. I know you must be doubting yourself, but this is all part of the journey of finding yourself, isn't it? If you like Alex, then you like him. So what he has a dick? That doesn't change any feelings you have." She said sincerely, and Jack had to admit she had a point. "And you know I'm not going too leave your side, I'm always here for you. Just see how it goes. What happens, happens. Now, choose me an outfit because we're going shopping." She said, shoving him off the bed so she could get up. From where he landed on the floor, Jack glared at her before laughing and standing up.
"You're right, Jen. But shopping? What for?"
"Nothing, why not? Let's go buy new clothes we haven't hung out in ages." She said shrugging, pointing to her wardrobe before walking out. Shaking his head, Jack turned to rummage through the wardrobe. Jenna had so many clothes. Like, SO many. He laughed when he found some of his own clothes in there. Jack was there so often and now and then just didn't leave, resulting in him staying the night, so the pair just decided to keep some of the others clothes at their own houses especially for those occasions. Here, he had one of his Green Day shirts, a black hoodie, a pair of jeans, a pair of joggers, another top he didn't even recognise, and many pairs of socks. Jack decided on black leggings and a grey top for Jenna, knowing she wouldn't be bothered to go all fancy looking. Moments later Jenna re-entered the room, quickly got changed, grabbed her bag and the pair left.

"Please get that please please please!" Jenna begged Jack, trying her best to do puppy dog eyes. Jack was stood in a small, stuffy changing room. Jenna had pulled him out a green checkered shirt, the tightest jeans Jack had ever worn and a leather jacket. He felt ridiculous, but kinda liked the look of himself. He didn't think he could pull it off, but Jenna seemed certain. "Jack you look so hot!" She said, for the twentieth time. Jack blushed, looking down and shaking his head. "That would look so good with those massive trainers you have! And it means you have more normal clothes!" Jack laughed, knowing she was talking about the array of 'boner' shirts he owned, and a lot of band merch. But too Jack that was fine, he rarely went out anywhere he had to be decently dressed.
"I dunnoo..there's not much point..."
"Er, you're tryna get a hot new boyfriend?! Go get changed, ima treat you." She said winking and walking behind the curtain. 'She's such a bitch,' Jack thought as he swiftly changed - quite eager too go home after their day out. Putting the clothes carefully back on the hanger, he emerged from the room and handed them to Jenna - swapping them for the eight bags she had been looking after. She skipped happily over to the till and payed, looking incredibly chuffed with herself.
"I hate you, you know that right?" Jack grumbled as he lugged the shopping bags out of this shop, following the blonde girl to wherever she was heading next. She grinned at him, and replied "hold that thought!" Moments later Jack realised that Jenna was heading to Taco Bell, and grinned happily - for the Taco Bell, for how well Jenna knew him, as well as for the idea of sitting down for a bit. They sat at a small table in the corner, away from the loud noise of the masses of people by the entrance. Jack immediately tucked in, whilst Jenna slowly opened the packaging and delicately ate. Too a stander by, you'd probably watch and wonder how two contrasting people were able to put up with each other. Admittedly, Jack wondered that as well sometimes. They probably looked like an odd teenage couple sitting stuffing their faces with Taco Bell, their feet surrounded by various shopping bags. Jenna had managed to spend a fortune on clothes and shoes, as she always did, and then brought Jack a few bits and bobs. It was cute. He'd had a nice day out with his best friend, and didn't have to worry about anything in his life. That was just how he liked it.

Notes

Jack :3