Long Live Us

*Jack pov*

The nervous tension buzzing around Alex was driving Jack mad. He understood that the shorter boy was nervous and had anxiety issues - but he did too and he was fine. The atmosphere unsettled Jack, and he wanted to just enjoy this and relax. He decided not too ask Alex about it, and too just get on with it, and they could talk about it later. Bouncing into the room, Jack grinned as they greeted Zack and Rian. Once they were set up, the singer seemed to relax a bit more, making Jack nod to himself. He did really want to help him, and wanted to be there for him, and wished he could be the one to help the boy gain the confident so he could walk in front of a huge crowd and sing his heart out. Big dreams for a young, naive and weird boy. He chuckled at how little he believed in himself. The door opening interrupted his thoughts, and the class began shuffling in. Jack scanned the room for Jenna, eager to see her face. The blonde had no idea what was happening, the lanky boy had only told her that he had a surprise for her during music. His eyes lit up when his beat friend entered. She stopped dead and states at Jack, her mouth dropping open.
"Surprise!" He mouthed, grinning at her. His reply came in the form of an excited squeal, before she ran to get the best seat she could with Tay. Jack tapped the edge of his guitar whilst he waited for everyone to be ready and settle down. Miss Jackson positioned herself at the back of the classroom, lining up the camera before giving the four guys the thumbs up. Rian counted them in, tapping his drum sticks together. The room erupted with sound as they started playing. Electricity buzzed through his body as he bounced around slightly, flicking his hair and a grin remaining plastered on his face. The sound of Alex's voice filled his ears, making his knees feel wobbly. The kid was so talented, and Jack could listen to him sing all day every say. He imagined what would happen if Alex ever wrote a song for him, a thought that made the smile on his face grow impossibly bigger. Feeling a blush crawl onto his cheeks, his flicked his head once more. When his head turned back, he saw Alex was staring at him. Looking up, he saw two bright brown eyes staring back at him. His mind danced ahead to the next few lines, and he remembered confessing to himself that he thought of Alex whenever he heard them.
'Maybe he feels the same..' Jack thought, smiling shyly. As he guessed, their eyes remained locked as he sang the next few lines, and Jack mouthed them back. In that moment he felt the connection between them growing, which scared the hell out of him whilst also making him feel like the happiest boy on the planet. He was excited to see where their journey would take them. And it felt like it was starting now

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"MATTHEWWW!" Jack yelled as they entered the house, Alex right behind him. The boy they were looking for was standing in the kitchen, leaning on the side talking to his friend. Jack recognised him, but had no idea why or where from. With music blasting and people bustling around, the two new comers grabbed a drink.
"What is this?" Alex shouted over the music, making a face at the unknown substance in the cup. Jack swirled it round a bit, smelling it, the shrugged.
"Haven't got a clue. As long as it's booze." He said with a grin, tapping their cups together before staking a sip. Looking around, Jack scanned the room for a familiar face, his eyes locking with a boy called Ronan. The boy noticed Jack, and pushed his way through the people between them to see him.
"Hey Jack!" Ronan grinned, giving Jack a man hug. Ronan was quite a bit shorter than Jack, with pale ginger hair and dark green eyes.
"Hey man! Long time no see!" The dark haired boy yelled. Him and Ronan had met at a gig, and then found out that he already knew Matt. Before the whole incident, the pair used to hang out quite often, but hadn't seen each other since.
"Come out for a smoke." Ronan said, pointing his head towards the back door. Jack turned around to check where Alex was and if he wanted to come, but the brunette had disappeared. Shrugging, Jack followed the ginger out of the house, carrying his Jack Daniels in his hand. They pushed their way out of the door and sat down on the patio on the left of the garden, a few metres away from others standing and smoking. The garden was dark, only illuminated by the light that was on from the back of the house, and the sky was a raven black, dotted with the small stars. Leaning against the fence, Jack took a swig from the bottle before offering it to Ronan who just shook his head.
“Nah mate, can’t be arsed for a hangover tomorrow.” He laughed, pulling out a packet of cigarettes. Offering the packet to Jack, he lit his own before lighting the one placed in the dark haired boys’ mouth. Together the pair chain smoked their way through the packet, catching up on what had happened in the months where they hadn’t been talking. Ronan was a few years older than Jack, so had recently finished school for good and gone into work, now working in a workshop. A few of their friends came over during the night, staggering and slurring their words, before wandering off again – probably to throw up.

A good few hours had passed, and the party was slowly beginning to dwindle. There was a slight throbbing in Jack’s head, but it was bearable.
“So, how come you’ve not been trying to get into anyone’s pants tonight?” Ronan asked, fiddling with his lighter and raising an eyebrow at Jack.
“I could ask you the same thing!” Jack retorted with a laugh. Ronan rolled his eyes, and they began to talk about past parties and previous hook ups. When the taller boy checked his phone, it was nearly two o’clock, and remembering he had to go to therapy later he decided they should call it a night.
“I’d better find Alex and get going, it was nice seeing you, text me sometime!” Jack said to Ronan, bringing him in for a hug before pushing his way back into the house. Roaming around into each room, Alex was nowhere to be found. Whilst searching, he bumped into Matt, so said a quick goodbye. Matt was beyond drunk, and was dancing around like a maniac, telling everyone how much he loves them.
‘Fucking hell where is he?!’ Jack wondered after he had checked each room. He wondered whether Alex would be upstairs with someone, but he wasn’t sure. Deciding to check out the front of the house, he opened the front door and looked to the left.
‘Found him.’ Jack said to himself bluntly. What he was seeing caused a burning feeling in the bottom of his stomach rise up, and he had to clench his fist to try and control it. He admitted that he was obviously jealous, and prayed that Alex was drunk. Watching the brunette pull his face away from the other boy’s face slightly annoyed Jack, but he seized the moment to grab his friend before the tonsil tennis match began.
“Alex?” he said, and the boys eyes flicked up and met with his. “Er, Alex we’re going...” Alex hesitated slightly, looking almost confused, before he nodded and stood up, with a bit of difficulty, leaning on the wall to support himself.
“Seeeee ya laterrr!” he said to the boy next to him, who placed a kiss on his cheek before walking away. Jack glared at the dark haired boy as he slunk past him and back into the house. Alex staggered over him, and sighing loudly, Jack hooked an arm around the shorter boy’s waist so he was able to walk. The contact made him tingle, but Alex giggled. A proper, genuine, teenage girl giggle, making Jack chuckle slightly at how cute he was. When they finally reached Jack’s house, he fumbled about with the key and pushed the door open, dragging Alex with him. He threw his keys onto the stairs, and guided Alex upstairs. The brown haired boy was singing softly to himself, occasionally giggling or throwing out a dodgey dance move. The boys made their way into Jack’s bedroom, and he set Alex down on the bed.
“Where are your clothes Lex?” he asked, looking around the room for the boy’s bag.
“It’ssssss too hotttttttttt!” Alex replied, stripping off down to his boxers and flopping onto the bed. Rolling his eyes, Jack stripped down to his own boxers, before walking to the bathroom. He splashed water over his face, before brushing his teeth. He grabbed a bowl to put in the bedroom in case Alex threw up as he returned.
“Jaaaaaaack! Cuddle meee!” The boy in the bed whined, looking up and Jack with puppy eyes. Clambering onto the bed next to him, he let Alex position himself so that Jack was sitting up, with the shorter boy wrapped around his waist. As his breathing slowed down and became regular, Jack let his mind wander. He wasn’t sure whether he was annoyed or not. He had definitely been jealous, yes. He had definitely avoided girls so he wouldn’t upset Alex, yes. But was it really his place to be annoyed? Knowing this would keep him up, he sighed loudly and stared up at the ceiling, wrapping his arm around Alex and letting his hand rest on his hip.
‘Just leave it. If he remembers, he remembers. If not then whatever, right?’ he thought, looking down at the boy in his arms. That’s how he would play it: acting not that bothered, when in reality it would be eating his inside away.

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“Oh this fucking door!” Jack exclaimed, slamming his shoulder into the door and it finally swinging open. “Hallelujah!” he said, looking around the house. It seemed there had been no movement, so Alex must still be asleep upstairs. Therapy had been a drag, and Jack was in a pretty shit mood. Penny had said he needs to man up and just admit his feelings for Alex. But he wasn’t ready for that, he knew that the minute he did the whole situation would take off quicker than he could imagine. That prospect scared him. What if it all went wrong? What if Alex didn’t like him as much as he thought? What if Jack wasn’t actually gay? All these worries floated around the lanky boy’s mind as he poured himself a coffee and made Alex a tea, before carrying the mugs up the stairs. He turned into his room, setting the mugs down on the bedside table.
“Wakey wakey sleepy head.” He murmured softly, poking Alex in the side. He groaned and rolled over, mumbling something inaudible.
“Get up you stupid piece of shit it’s like one o’clock!”
“Shut up you sleep in until, like, three when you can!” he moaned, rolling back over so he was facing Jack. The boy’s hair was sticking out everywhere, his eyes drooping, and his cheeks rosy red. Remembering the boy in his bead was virtually naked; Jack blushed, before standing up and making his way to the other side of the room.
“Whatever. I made you tea.” Jack said, pointing to the mug on the bedside table. Alex’s eyes lit up as he sat up slowly and reached over. He eagerly took the mug, wrapping his hands around it and taking a sip.
“You’re a star!” he said to Jack, sighing. The dark haired boy didn’t reply, not really wanting to have to deal with him. He didn’t want to be annoyed, but he was, and had no idea what to do about it.
“Why am I feeling waves of anger coming off of you Jack?” Alex asked softly, bringing Jack back into the room. Turning around, their brown eyes locked. Could he tell him? Should he tell him? He could tell him about last night, and see where the conversation went from there, right? Deciding to put it off for as long as possible, he tried changing the subject.
“You look like shit, do you want a shower or something?”
“Shhh I’m hungover I’m allowed to look like shit!” he retorted, trying to sort out his hair by running his hands through his fringe. The brown hairs were becoming wavy, and falling over his forehead, and Jack thought he looked adorable. Blushing, he looked away and took a sip of his coffee.
“So, are you gonna tell me what I did last night that’s annoyed you or not?” Alex spoke up again, grunting as he unknotted the side of his hair. Jack just looked up and stared at him, really not wanting to talk about it.
“Don’t you remember anything?” he asked, slightly surprised. Alex frowned for a minute, dropping his hands from his head, before shaking his head.
“Nope. You’re going to have to tell me...” the older boy swung his legs over the bed so he was sitting on the edge, and picked up his mug of tea once more, his eyes not leaving Jack. Jack shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, not wanting to speak, yet knowing he wouldn’t get away with not getting it off of his chest. His mind ran over various ways to say it, without making him come off as an idiot. Once he was settled on an idea, and the silence had dragged out too long, he spoke up.
“You didn’t actually do anything. You made out with some guy, I didn’t know him, but other than that I don’t know I didn’t see much of you.” Jack watched as Alex nodded slowly, frowning and looking down into his mug once more. Flicking his hair so the shorter boy wouldn’t see his eyes through his fringe, he watched as his mind went through remembering the night. Alex then got up and pulled his phone out of his trouser pocket, which were on the floor, and tapped the screen. The light lit up his face, and his eyebrows came together once more as his eyes scanned the phone. He hummed quietly, before obviously texting someone by the way his fingers danced over the screen.
“So you were jealous, were you?” Alex said with a cheeky voice, raising one eyebrow at Jack.
“Errrrr...” Jack mentally slapped himself for not playing it cool, but he could never seem to think of witty comments quickly when Alex was around.
“Morgan said that you were glaring at him.”
“Who’s Morgan?”
“The guy from last night.”
“Oh...” An awkward silence then descended over the room. Alex stood up and picked his jeans up of the floor, and quickly squeezed into them, while Jack brought his knees to his chest as he sat on the chair. He couldn’t help himself from admiring Alex’s torso as he started to get dressed. There truly was nothing wrong with the boy. In Jack’s eyes at least, he was flawless.
“Stop checking me out!” Alex joked, throwing his shirt and Jack, making him jump as the fabric hit his face.
“Hey!” he exclaimed, pouting and crossing his arms and keeping the shirt firmly clasped in his hand. Alex just rolled his eyes and made his way over to the boy. Jack froze at the sudden closeness, and just stared as the brunette clambered awkwardly onto his lap.
“I.. Err.. Are you still drunk?” Jack asked with a laugh, trying not to make it awkward. The shorter boy had now moved them so Jack was sitting normally, and he was perched on his lap, facing him, his arms looped loosely around the lanky boy’s waist, his bare chest incredibly close to Jack, making his mind go mad.
“You know I fancy you, right?” Alex mumbled, looking into Jack’s eyes. The dark haired boy swallowed the lump in his throat, silently cursing at his heart for speeding up.
“Definitely still drunk.” He said, moving one of his hands to Alex’s hip to stop him slipping down his legs.
“No I’m not; I just want you to know that I like you.” Jack just nodded, not really convinced considering what he saw last night, but the way his stomach was doing tumble turns made him know that he wanted it to be true and he wanted to believe him. Alex’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red, and he pushed his soft lips into Jack’s cheek. This made Jack turn an even brighter shade of red, making him put his head down and cover his eyes with his fringe. Alex chuckled slightly, and fiddled with the hair at the back of Jack’s hair.
“Come on, let’s go and watch a movie, yeah?”

The following day, Jack had decided he wanted to tell his three best mates about the emotional turmoil meeting Alex was putting him through. After their conversation yesterday, and then the movie and cuddling, he decided he was ready to take one small step and tell them. Josh, Zack and Rian had all agreed to come at two, so they would be arriving any minute now. To say Jack was nervous would be a massive understatement. Pacing around the kitchen, he tried to work out how to tell them, what words he could use. He knew just blurting out 'I think I'm gay' would just be weird and would freak them out, but then he couldn't make it look like he was accusing Alex of anything. Running his hands through his hair and sighing, he began to pace faster, getting slightly dizzy from the circular motion. What if they decided they didn't like him anymore? What if they didn't want to be friends with him because he thought he was gay? How would they react? Stopping dead, he was drawn away from his thoughts by the doorbell ringing.
'Shit.' Was all that went through his mind as he answered the door. The three had arrived together, and Jack invited them in, looking down and closing the door slowly before turning around. Zack had led the trio into the living room, and they were all perched on one of the sofa's.
"No, Josh, shut up, there is no way European Football is better than American Football." Zack was saying, glaring at Josh. This was a frequent argument between the English and American boys, and each time the argument came up, it would last for hours at a time.
"Guys shut up." Rian said, putting his head in his hands and shaking it. Evidently, this argument had been going on for a while.
"Whatever." Josh ended the argument, his white teeth formed in his usual cheeky grin before he turned to look at Jack. "So, what's up?"
"Er..." The dark haired boy said awkwardly, looking down at the floor and fiddling with the sleeve of his jumper. He genuinely had no idea how to do this. When he looked back up, his three friends were all frowning, worry filling their eyes as they searched Jack's face for some sort of clue as to what was going on. He felt bad for them, but was also drowning in self pity.
"Jack come on spit it out!" Zack said, breaking the silence, narrowing his eyes slightly.
"I... Err..." He started, his breathing speeding up. Josh seemed to noticed the panic that was quickly building up in the boy, as he got up and perched on the arm of the chair and grabbed Jack's hand. The contact made Jack burst into tears. He was going to miss him more than he could bear to imagine, and hoped that this wouldn't push him away early.
"Shhh, just say it. Like straight out. Pappa's right here." Josh said softly, squeezing Jack's hand slightly. Looking round at him, the brown haired boy gently wiped the tears from Jack's face. It was now or never, he decided, sitting here looking into Josh's bright eyes.
"I'm gay." He whispered softly, just about loud enough for Rian and Zack to hear. There was no movement, no sound. Nothing happened. Silence filled the room, and it felt like time had frozen. The clock ticked slowly in the background, and as the tension built Jack averted his gaze from Josh's eyes. This was it. This was the last few moments he would have with his friends. With friends at all. From here on in, he would be on his own. Nobody would want to know him. Nobody would want to be his friend.
"Like, really? Proper?" Rian asked, looking at Jack.
"I think so." He mumbled quietly, not meeting his gaze, scared at what hatred and anger he would be met with. The silence then fell again for a few moments, panic once again building up I'm Jack.
"SHIT THAT MEANS I WIN!" Zack suddenly yelled, leaping up and throwing his arms into the air. Jack's head snapped up, his tears forming glistening lines down his face. Confusion was etched across his face, and the exact same across Josh's.
"What?" Jack asked quietly, looking at Zack. The muscular boy looked at Jack with a wide grin on his face - a look that the dark haired boy did not expect. He walked over while Josh got up and released Jack's hand, and pointed at him.
"You, my friend, are the best person I know." Zack said, wrapping his arms around Jack and squeezing the hell out of him. Jack spluttered, a few fresh tears escaping his eyes and landing on the muscular chest in front of him. Rian and Josh soon joined in, all forming a ring around Jack. After a few minutes, and a lot more tears from the lanky boy, they pulled away.
"You owe me a twenty." Zack said, pointing at Rian who rolled his eyes. Josh and Jack looked at each other, confused once more, until Rian spotted them and laughed.
"Me and Zee had a bet about Jack and being gay." He said laughing, while Josh chuckled slightly. Fear consumed Jack, and he wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing. They hadn't left yet, which was a good thing, he figured.
"Hey we're all cool with it." Zack interjected into the boys' thoughts. Josh suddenly gasped, gaining everyone's attention.
"This is totally for Alex isn't it?" He said with a cheeky wiggle of his eyebrows at Jack.
"Maybeeeeee..." He murmured, blushing. Josh squealed like a teenage girl and launched himself at Jack. Frowning, the taller boy just laughed, not quite sure what was going on. It had gone a lot better than he expected, and hadn't thought of an after plan for this situation. Josh dropped off of him and motioned for the other two too form a group hug.
"We love you Jack, we may or may not have expected this, but whatever." Josh said with his cheeky grin reappearing, making Zack and Rian nods in agreement. Once more, Jack's heart swelled at the love for his friends. He would truly be lost without them.
"I love you too, guys."

Notes

tadaa!
I'll update again later because it's valentines day so yay love to you all :3
xoxoxo