Bite the Bullet
In My Weakest Hour, in the Darkest Night, You are Lovely.
I don't wanna look you in the eyes, you might call my away
I don't wanna give you the chance to make me stay
And the hardest part in all of this is
I know my way back, I don't want to go
I should've know, I should've known
I didn't have a chance
“Oh! H-Hey Alex...” I said, my voice involuntarily shaking. I cursed myself; showing weakness when in reality all I was doing was talking to him, was probably not in my best interest, and yet here I was.
This whole situation was one of the dumbest things I’d ever gotten myself into. How the hell was I gonna survive Alex? Rough, angry, frightening, and incredibly beautiful Alex..
Fuck, even my own thoughts were against me here!
I could have gotten lost in my thoughts if it wasn’t for a rough hand at my neck and a warm mouth being pressed against my own, hard enough for me to feel my teeth pressing into the inside flesh of my lips.
My first instinct was to kiss these beautiful pair of lips back, but then a sliver of common sense found it’s way into my brain, allowing me to have enough mental capacity to push him off of me.
Which was one of the smartest and stupidest things I’d ever done.
Alex glowered at me, he cold and dark gaze barely visible in the light from the flickering streetlamp above us.
“What the fuck was that?!” we said at the same time, except it wasn’t anything like in the movies. He didn’t giggle, and I didn’t blush -well, blush much at least- and we weren’t going back and forth trying to decide who was going to speak first.
No, he took the initiative while I stood there like an idiot in momentary shock.
“What. The. Literal. Fuck. Jack?!” he said, taking a threatening step closer, though it probably didn’t have quite the effect he had originally had in mind.
The way his breath fanned across my skin even though his frame was slightly shorter and the way my name sounded coming from his mouth as those four letters rolled off his tongue, had shivers racing up and down my spine.
“Where do you get off saying that? You can’t just come up and kiss me like that!” I said, the defiant tone in my voice only digging my grave that much deeper. Me and my mouth strike once again.
“Uhm, yes” he said, his hand snaking up to snag around my collar, “Yes I can. It’s part of our little deal here. Rule One, you have to do whatever I want you to”
He lips knocked against mine again, this time slightly parted. His other hand cupped the side of my face, his palm pressing into my skin as if to hold me in place. Which was probably a wise move on his part, because hell if I was going to kiss him when his first rule was doing whatever he wanted me to do. Excuse me, who died and made him king exactly? Oh yeah, I made him king… But this was getting ridiculous.
I wriggled out of his arms, his hands grasping the air instead of the fabric of my shirt, “Alex stop!”
“This was your idea” he growled, his fingers latching onto my shoulders and pushing me. I stumbled over my feet as he slammed me into the lamp, my back connecting first and my head meeting the cold wrought iron only moments later.
Aside from the obvious pain and the fact my head was spinning, I felt an unusual rush of…something.
Maybe it was courage, or maybe it just was blind idiotic behavior, but I decided I wasn't going to let him push me around -and not only physically.
I took a deep breath and told myself to be brave like Brenna. To be cool like Brenna. I could handle this.
I swung my arms up, my fingers digging into the same place his hands had been on me seconds earily.
I threw my weight to the side, jostling him into the position I’d been in; Pressed up against the body of the streetlamp, head lolling and back throbbing.
“Yeah, so maybe this was my idea, but that doesn’t mean you can just throw me around! I’m still a person you have to respect” I said (yelled) probably a bit too loud considering the time, but I was really fucking angry and it was more likely for you to see Halley's Comet than to see this kind of outburst from me. There was no way I was stopping now.
I could feel some sort of sadistic swell of pride as I got all up in his face, yelling and making him finally understand what it was like to be the victim instead of the bully.
He was staring back at me, his face a mixture of shock and fear as I towered over him. He’d probably have never expected me to talk back to him in a million years, let alone do... this.
It had all been going great until somehow it’d turned to me sticking my face a bit too close to his face, and then my lips were on his.
And since I was already on a roll, my hands found their way to his body, one firmly gripping his hip, bringing him closer to me than I’d ever been to anyone before in my life, and one tangling in his hair.
The light glinted around us, illuminating the scene briefly before dipping out, only to return moments later.
I broke away just as the light returned, allowing me to see Alex; red lipped and panting, his hair a complete mess. And yet, he’d never looked better.
“Jesus Jack...” he said, and I was startled; He just said something to me that wasn’t cruel, rude or absolutely uncalled for. It was odd to hear his address me other than like I was some worthless piece of shit. And hearing his normal voice isn’t of him yelling at me was nice too.
“Yeah” I said, interrupting the symphonic silence. It had been a mix of the breeze blowing through the leaves of the surrounding oak trees, the quiet chirp of the crickets all around us, the occasional rustle of a squirrel or a mouse, and the rare hoots of the owls; the noise only broken by the sound of my voice.
Alex slide down to sit on the rough concrete of the sidewalk.
A odd slapping sound notified me that he’d patted the space beside him in a gesture for me to sit down with him.
I ungracefully plopped down next to him, my lanky figure twisting into a cross-legged position.
He placed his hand on one of my folded up legs and started absent mindlessly tracing circles with his thumbs, not realizing what he was doing to my insides.
“So this didn’t really go as I planned” Alex started and I had to stifle my chuckle. I don’t think either one of us could have planned what just happened.
“I’m sorry?” he continued, and my eyes popped open. Alex Gaskarth, The Alex Gaskarth, was apologizing to me? Pffff unheard of!
“Well, you were a dick” I said quietly.
“Well you’re not really someone I’d usually pay much time, but don't flatter yourself” he said, his eyes aglow with irritation once again, or it could have just been the golden light radiating all around us.
I sighed, the douche canoe was back, “Its clear we can’t do small talk, so what’s the deal about that rule shit you were talking about earlier?”
“It only makes sense that we have some sort of rules”
I shrugged, “Kay what did you have in mind?”
He smirked, “Only a few things. Firstly, I’ll call you, you never call me. Secondly, you don’t address me in public, anywhere. Third, you have to be exclusive to me, even though no one else will know”
I opened my mouth, but the look he gave me made it close immediately, “Fine. Anything else?”
“Actually yeah, I want you to do exactly what I want!”
“I’m not your slave!”
“I know! You’re my bitch!”
I gulped as soon as the words left his mouth. I know I promised to let him let his gay out with me, but I didn’t realized he’d be expecting this much from me, let alone me being the sub while he got the role of the dominate one.
“Don’t argue with me, or I’ll tell everyone all your little secrets and make your life living hell on Earth” he hissed, his hand gripping my wrist tightly, too tightly.
I was on my own; Brenna wasn't here to save me, even when I desperately needed her to. I felt tears rise in my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry in front of him, not again.
“Fine. I’ll try it out, but I’m not making any promises” I said, hoping my answer wouldn’t get me in more trouble than it was worth.
He looked me over, a small smile coming over his future, “That's good enough. It’s always nice when they have a little fight in them”
With that he turned and started to walk away, the sound of his feet against the sidewalk forever haunting my dreams.
I don't wanna give you the chance to make me stay
And the hardest part in all of this is
I know my way back, I don't want to go
I should've know, I should've known
I didn't have a chance
“Oh! H-Hey Alex...” I said, my voice involuntarily shaking. I cursed myself; showing weakness when in reality all I was doing was talking to him, was probably not in my best interest, and yet here I was.
This whole situation was one of the dumbest things I’d ever gotten myself into. How the hell was I gonna survive Alex? Rough, angry, frightening, and incredibly beautiful Alex..
Fuck, even my own thoughts were against me here!
I could have gotten lost in my thoughts if it wasn’t for a rough hand at my neck and a warm mouth being pressed against my own, hard enough for me to feel my teeth pressing into the inside flesh of my lips.
My first instinct was to kiss these beautiful pair of lips back, but then a sliver of common sense found it’s way into my brain, allowing me to have enough mental capacity to push him off of me.
Which was one of the smartest and stupidest things I’d ever done.
Alex glowered at me, he cold and dark gaze barely visible in the light from the flickering streetlamp above us.
“What the fuck was that?!” we said at the same time, except it wasn’t anything like in the movies. He didn’t giggle, and I didn’t blush -well, blush much at least- and we weren’t going back and forth trying to decide who was going to speak first.
No, he took the initiative while I stood there like an idiot in momentary shock.
“What. The. Literal. Fuck. Jack?!” he said, taking a threatening step closer, though it probably didn’t have quite the effect he had originally had in mind.
The way his breath fanned across my skin even though his frame was slightly shorter and the way my name sounded coming from his mouth as those four letters rolled off his tongue, had shivers racing up and down my spine.
“Where do you get off saying that? You can’t just come up and kiss me like that!” I said, the defiant tone in my voice only digging my grave that much deeper. Me and my mouth strike once again.
“Uhm, yes” he said, his hand snaking up to snag around my collar, “Yes I can. It’s part of our little deal here. Rule One, you have to do whatever I want you to”
He lips knocked against mine again, this time slightly parted. His other hand cupped the side of my face, his palm pressing into my skin as if to hold me in place. Which was probably a wise move on his part, because hell if I was going to kiss him when his first rule was doing whatever he wanted me to do. Excuse me, who died and made him king exactly? Oh yeah, I made him king… But this was getting ridiculous.
I wriggled out of his arms, his hands grasping the air instead of the fabric of my shirt, “Alex stop!”
“This was your idea” he growled, his fingers latching onto my shoulders and pushing me. I stumbled over my feet as he slammed me into the lamp, my back connecting first and my head meeting the cold wrought iron only moments later.
Aside from the obvious pain and the fact my head was spinning, I felt an unusual rush of…something.
Maybe it was courage, or maybe it just was blind idiotic behavior, but I decided I wasn't going to let him push me around -and not only physically.
I took a deep breath and told myself to be brave like Brenna. To be cool like Brenna. I could handle this.
I swung my arms up, my fingers digging into the same place his hands had been on me seconds earily.
I threw my weight to the side, jostling him into the position I’d been in; Pressed up against the body of the streetlamp, head lolling and back throbbing.
“Yeah, so maybe this was my idea, but that doesn’t mean you can just throw me around! I’m still a person you have to respect” I said (yelled) probably a bit too loud considering the time, but I was really fucking angry and it was more likely for you to see Halley's Comet than to see this kind of outburst from me. There was no way I was stopping now.
I could feel some sort of sadistic swell of pride as I got all up in his face, yelling and making him finally understand what it was like to be the victim instead of the bully.
He was staring back at me, his face a mixture of shock and fear as I towered over him. He’d probably have never expected me to talk back to him in a million years, let alone do... this.
It had all been going great until somehow it’d turned to me sticking my face a bit too close to his face, and then my lips were on his.
And since I was already on a roll, my hands found their way to his body, one firmly gripping his hip, bringing him closer to me than I’d ever been to anyone before in my life, and one tangling in his hair.
The light glinted around us, illuminating the scene briefly before dipping out, only to return moments later.
I broke away just as the light returned, allowing me to see Alex; red lipped and panting, his hair a complete mess. And yet, he’d never looked better.
“Jesus Jack...” he said, and I was startled; He just said something to me that wasn’t cruel, rude or absolutely uncalled for. It was odd to hear his address me other than like I was some worthless piece of shit. And hearing his normal voice isn’t of him yelling at me was nice too.
“Yeah” I said, interrupting the symphonic silence. It had been a mix of the breeze blowing through the leaves of the surrounding oak trees, the quiet chirp of the crickets all around us, the occasional rustle of a squirrel or a mouse, and the rare hoots of the owls; the noise only broken by the sound of my voice.
Alex slide down to sit on the rough concrete of the sidewalk.
A odd slapping sound notified me that he’d patted the space beside him in a gesture for me to sit down with him.
I ungracefully plopped down next to him, my lanky figure twisting into a cross-legged position.
He placed his hand on one of my folded up legs and started absent mindlessly tracing circles with his thumbs, not realizing what he was doing to my insides.
“So this didn’t really go as I planned” Alex started and I had to stifle my chuckle. I don’t think either one of us could have planned what just happened.
“I’m sorry?” he continued, and my eyes popped open. Alex Gaskarth, The Alex Gaskarth, was apologizing to me? Pffff unheard of!
“Well, you were a dick” I said quietly.
“Well you’re not really someone I’d usually pay much time, but don't flatter yourself” he said, his eyes aglow with irritation once again, or it could have just been the golden light radiating all around us.
I sighed, the douche canoe was back, “Its clear we can’t do small talk, so what’s the deal about that rule shit you were talking about earlier?”
“It only makes sense that we have some sort of rules”
I shrugged, “Kay what did you have in mind?”
He smirked, “Only a few things. Firstly, I’ll call you, you never call me. Secondly, you don’t address me in public, anywhere. Third, you have to be exclusive to me, even though no one else will know”
I opened my mouth, but the look he gave me made it close immediately, “Fine. Anything else?”
“Actually yeah, I want you to do exactly what I want!”
“I’m not your slave!”
“I know! You’re my bitch!”
I gulped as soon as the words left his mouth. I know I promised to let him let his gay out with me, but I didn’t realized he’d be expecting this much from me, let alone me being the sub while he got the role of the dominate one.
“Don’t argue with me, or I’ll tell everyone all your little secrets and make your life living hell on Earth” he hissed, his hand gripping my wrist tightly, too tightly.
I was on my own; Brenna wasn't here to save me, even when I desperately needed her to. I felt tears rise in my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry in front of him, not again.
“Fine. I’ll try it out, but I’m not making any promises” I said, hoping my answer wouldn’t get me in more trouble than it was worth.
He looked me over, a small smile coming over his future, “That's good enough. It’s always nice when they have a little fight in them”
With that he turned and started to walk away, the sound of his feet against the sidewalk forever haunting my dreams.
Notes
Title Cred: The Grey by Icon for Hire (Altered)
HEY GUYS! Thanks for the unending supoort. We promise we'll get the hang of this updating thing soon! Amanda is already starting on the next chapter.
I hope this chapter was up to par with what you all want from us.
We love reading your comments, so keep em coming
~Sarah (PleaseDon'tLookAtMe_I'mAwkward)
I really do enjoy this story and I would like you to keep writing it if you want to...
8/11/16