I'll Keep A Secret If You Keep Me Guessing

Jack's p.o.v.

"Jack, you can't just stay inside all day. At least try? I'll be with you."

Alex had been trying to convince me to go outside with him for at least an hour now. Going anywhere with Alex sounds great, but I just feel so nervous. I've never really gone outside much, only when my dad told me to or school. It's just the thought of going out there where judgmental people constantly judge you.

Ever since my dad went into jail, I've just felt so anxious about going anywhere near other people. God knows how I managed at Matt's party, probably the alcohol made me feel less paranoid.

"I don't know." I sighed, running my palm over my forehead. I honestly do wanna go out somewhere with Alex, but there's just something deep inside me that won't allow it because constant fear of being judged. I mean, there could be a chance that the incident with me and my dad could be in the paper. Publishers will get their hands on anything.

What if people noticed me and laughed at how worthless I am? I can't deal with that.

"I'll hold your hand the whole time, I promise. Just...please try, for me?" Alex pleaded, giving me sad puppy eyes that made my heart melt all the time.

Why should I be living in fear of what other people think about me? Surely, the only person I should worry about not liking me is Alex, and I'm quite sure he likes me -and my mouth- a lot.

I shouldn't have to have Alex begging me to outside for a walk with him, I should be saying yes straight away.

Why can't I just say yes?

I sighed, my hand now running through my freshly cleaned hair. Maybe I should give this a chance? With Alex's hand in mine, what could go wrong?

I lifted my head up, looking into Alex's eyes as I bit my lip, nodding.

"Okay." I finally gave in. I was doing this for Alex, though, because even though he can be fairly lazy, I knew he wanted to go outside. I couldn't keep him in because my anxiety, that wasn't fair.

Alex came over to where I sat on his bed and grabbed my face lightly, placing his lips in mine, making me instantly smile into it.

He soon pulled back, smiling happily at me.

"Thank you." He said before pecking my lips quickly. I just nodded, standing up. I went to go get some clothes, but Alex beat me to it, and I sighed playfully.

"I wanna decide what you wear." Alex mumbled, almost in a bossy way. I crossed my arms over my chest, lazily leaning on one leg.

"Knowing you, It'll probably be no clothes." I laughed quietly, hearing him mumble something, but I couldn't hear. I let it slip, though.

After a while, he finally picked out some clothes. I went to go grab them, but he pulled them behind his back, smirking.

"I'm doing it." He stated, the smirk still on his face.

"Seriously, Alex, I'm not three." I groaned.

"I know that. But I'm your boyfriend, and I can dress you if I want." He says with cheek. I roll my eyes, mumbling "fine" and let him step forward. He stuffed the clothes between his legs as his hands reached out for my shirt.

This is really stupid, but it's making me smile.

I lift my arms up, and Alex pulls my shirt off. Smirking slightly, his cold hands run down my chest. I squirm from the cold he's leaving on my skin.

"Alex, your hands are really fucking cold." I groan, squirming more when he placed his hands at my sides.

"I know." He smirked, lightly tracing his fingers up and down my sides, giving me goosebumps.

"Stop it." I chuckle, and his fingers run down my abdomen until they were at my shorts. He slowly pulled them down, and I stepped out them, now getting goosebumps on my legs. Wow, it must be cold.

He grabbed the clothes that were inbetween his legs, then placed the jeans between his legs again.

He pulled the shirt over my head, then gave me a peck on the lips. I feel my cheeks heat up.

They go even more hotter when he lifts my legs up. My legs are like an apes back. He doesn't seem to mind, though.

He pulled my jeans up and I shuffled a bit to get in them. They were skinny jeans, after all.

His fingers hooked around the loops, and he pulled me forward so I was pushed against him. He leaned up, connecting our lips. I leaned down slightly so he didn't have to stretch his neck, and kissed him back.

He starts to button-up my jeans, which is not a good idea when he's kissing me. It'll make me really fucking horny.

But luckily, it didn't take him that long to button and zip me jeans up, so I was safe.

He pulls back, making my eyes flutter open. He looks me up and down, and I begin to blush again.

"Damn," He whispers to himself, and I see a grin on his face. He looks at me.

"You're one sexy mother fucker." He lets out a little laugh and kissed me again. My cheeks felt like they were going to explode. His hands moved to the back of my neck, playing with my hair.

My hands were resting on his waist, while I leaned forward a bit more to deepen the kiss. He pushed me backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed. I giggled as I fell onto the bed and Alex stood/leaned between my legs while still kissing me. It's funny and cute how Alex just wants to make out with me all the time. I feel a lot more wanted and cared for (and sometimes horny) when he does things like that. I'm still, of course, quite new to these things because I've never had a relationship, so I'm still learning.

He bites on my bottom lip, slightly pulling it. He then tries to pull my shirt off, but I stop him there. As I leaned away from the kiss, I laughed at how lustful Alex's eyes were as they slowly flicked open.

"Alex, I enjoyed that like fuck, but don't you think we should be heading off before it gets dark?" I couldn't help the grin on my face. Alex rolled his eyes, mumbling, "I guess so", and stood up.

I really could not stop smiling, and I don't know why. I think it's because Alex makes me really happy, and it's such a big change.

"What are you smiling at, gorgeous?" Alex asked as I got off the bed. He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought his head close to mine. I blushed and looked down slightly.

"Because you make me happy." I replied, the smile growing on my face even more that I swear my dimples were showing more.

"Aw. I'm glad I can make you happy." Alex leaned up to peck me on the lips, making my smile as big as the world. He handed me my belt, and I put it on.

"Mmm. Anyway, let's go!" I said happily, grabbing hold of Alex's hand, and pulled him with me as we went downstairs.

We put our shoes on at the front door and finally stepped outside.

It was a bit chilly, so we went back inside to grab jumpers.

Five minutes later, we were back outside, and Alex instantly grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers like he had promised.

I felt a lot warmer now. Not because the jumper, although that was keeping me warm, it was their hands that were giving me hot cheeks and warmth inside.

I smiled as I moved closer to him as we walked. I still didn't know where exactly we were going. Probably just for a long walk.

We walked until the sun started coming down, and I must admit, that was the most exercise I have ever done for months. Alex insisted that we should sit in a empty field to watch it. I agreed, of course, although I never really liked being out this late.

We were sat down on the grass. Alex was cuddled up to me, playing with my sleeve.

This boy is so perfect. I don't understand how he did such a thing to himself. I still remember that day. The day I found him in the bathroom, with that horrible object about ready to hurt him.

I must admit, at times, I would feel triggered for no reason, but that was mostly when Alex wasn't at my side.

I sighed softly as the wind blew behind us, I moved closer to Alex, even though that was impossible, and placed my arm around his waist.

"We have to go back to school soon, you know?" Alex mumbled.

"Ah, the joy." I chuckled, and Alex just nodded.

We sat in silence again. I felt eyes on me, so looked down to see Alex looking at me. He continued looking at me, and leaned down, brushing my nose against his. He let out a tiny, quiet giggle, making my heart melt.

"You're so fucking cute." I awed, making his cheeks turn pink.

"Well, you're beautiful."

"Well you're amazingly hot." I smirked.

"Well you're gay." Alex laughed, leaning up to kiss me.

"I am." I mumbled into the kiss. He pulled back after awhile and stared at me again, before saying that we should go because it was getting dark.

We walked home safely, and I was clutched on to Alex's side because it was really dark. He kept teasing me about there being thieves, monsters and murders, which actually scared me. But we luckily got home without getting attacked by any of them.

I yawned and lazily took my shoes off. I felt really tired, and my eyes fell shut a couple of times while waiting for Alex to take his shoes off.

"Do you want anything to eat?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"No, thanks. I think I should go to sleep." My eyes kept closing and opening, and Alex chuckled.

Alex decided to follow me upstairs, and as soon as I got to the room, I undressed myself. I ended up sitting on the floor to take my jeans off, because I just couldn't be bothered to stand up. I got up and got into bed.

I gave Alex a kiss goodnight before closing my eyes, falling asleep with Alex's arms around me in five minutes flat.

Notes

It's rubbish, it's boring, mostly likely makes no sense and just really bad. Sorry. I was really tired writing all this because my sleeping pattern is really bad, so I'm tired all the time. Plus I really wanted to update. :/ Better then no update, I guess.