Who Said It Was Gonna Be Easy?

When everyone rushed out at the end of the lesson I trailed up to the front, up to his desk.

"hey, Alex, grab a chair and sit down" he said, giving me a small smile. I noticed he didn't sound angry and it took me aback. I sat on a chair in front of him and there was silence for a minute.

"you wanna talk?" he asked. I looked up at him and stared at him.

"what? That's what you kept me behind for? So we could talk?! What makes you think I'd want to talk to you?! What makes you think I want to talk to anybody? I'm fucking outta here" I stood up and went to leave when jack grabbed my hand.

"Alex, sit back down"

"why?! So we can talk?! Why would I want to?"

"because I can help. Now sit back down" he still had a tight grip on my hand so I gave in and sat down, shoulders slumped.

"I read that piece of paper" he said.

"so you can read, well done, I'm proud of you" I answered sarcastically, not in the mood to be talking, especially to someone who had embarrassed me in front of the whole class. He chuckled at my reply.

"why did you write that?"

"because it's all true, isn't it? Every single thing I wrote was true"

"no, not your lists, we'll get onto that in a minute. I'm talking about this" he passed me the piece of paper rians gang had thrown at me.

"why did you write this, Alex?"

"I didn't write it. It was thrown at me" I gave him a look that said 'wow-are-you-stupid?­'.

"is it about you?"

"yeah, no shit"

"who threw it?"

"Rian, Jason or Clark I think. I'm fairly sure but honestly it could have been anyone." I shrugged.

"alright. I'll be giving them all a weeks detention. I don't want bullying in my class and I especially dont want people being bullied who don't deserve it. Heck, nobody deserves it"

"don't bother. It'll just make things worse for me. They'll think I've snitched and they'll come down on me like a ton of bricks" I looked at him as he bit his lip, obviously unsure of whether he should follow school rules or not.

"alright, okay, I won't punish them" he said finally, running a hand through his hair. Now he didn't come across as such an asshole, he was really frickin' cute. He had big dark brown eyes and his nose was a little crooked as if he'd broken it before. He was definitely hotter up close.

"okay, now onto your lists. Care to explain for me?"

"I did what you asked. It's a list of all the bad things and a list of all the good things"

"do you realise most of your bad things list isn't true? And your good things list is so unaccurate." he said firmly.

"no, it's all true" I said stubbornly.

"do you honestly believe that?"

"yes." I said icily, glaring at him then regretting it because..well..he was cute.

"are you kidding me, Alex?" I didn't answer. I heard him sigh as I looked down at my hands.

"why were you so mean to me today?" I blurted out suddenly. I peered up at him nervously to see his reaction. He stared at me then leaned back in his chair, sighing.

"I was a dick, huh? I'm sorry, Alex. I had no idea what you're going through and it was wrong of me to humiliate you like that, especially in front of the whole class"

"but..you still have no idea what I'm going through" I said, realising a split-second later that I shouldn't have said anything.

"so tell me then?" he asked hopefully, shooting me an uneasy grin.

"you wouldn't understand" I shook my head.

"please?" he tried again.

"fine. But don't complain when you wish I hadn't told you. And you can't fucking tell anyone or I'll skin you alive, barakat"

"ooh scary" he grinned and nudged my knee with his, making me smile.

"my parents left me when I was younger. I live with my gran. I get bullied everyday. I'm not explaining myself to you because it'd be a waste of time, effort and energy. But um..I self harm and I'm bullimic. That's it I guess" I shrugged and looked away.

"where do you self harm?"

"my arms"

"show me" he said firmly. I rolled my sleeves back unhappily and put my arms out to him. His gentle hands held my arms carefully. His soft fingers felt lke they were almost caressing my scars. His fingers close to my skin yet not touching, lightly grazing my skin occasionally gave me shivers. I watched his face as he studied my arms. He looked up after a minute or so.

"you said you're bullimic as well?"

"mhmm..I purge most nights"

"what's purge?"

"make yourself throw up" I said bitterly as I spoke about the thing that had ruined my life.

"oh. Do you eat breakfast?" I shook my head.

"lunch?" another shake of my head.

"dinner?"

"my gran makes me. I wouldn't if I had the choice"

"why not?"

"I'm fat" I laughed at his stupid question.

"ok you are not fat"

"you know I don't believe you, right? Jack, I see myself in the mirror everyday. I know I am"

Notes

new chapter already wow you can tell I have a great social life, right?:))))