Who Said It Was Gonna Be Easy?

When I woke up that morning I had a sense of hope. I'm not sure where it came from or why I had it but it was there. It was soon gone completely when I saw myself in the mirror. My hair was stuck up in all different directions and was all wavy. My face was chubby, my nose big and all my features oddly shaped. My forehead was larger than a normal persons so I tried to keep it covered up with my fringe. I brushed all the knots out of my hair, willing it to behave. I sighed and gave up with trying to brush it into place and turned my hair straighteners on, going brushing my teeth in the bathroom as I waited for them to heat up enough to tame my unruly hair. Once my hair was nice and flat, I sprayed it with hairspray into my usual style.

I grabbed my bag, shoving my battered converse on and leaving the house quickly before my gran could yell at me to eat breakfast. I didn't need that. It was bad enough that she made me eat dinner and tried to force cookies upon me almost every day.

I walked briskly to the end of my road and waited for the bus. Not having enough money for a car was hell to say the least. I was just about the only kid in my year without one and it sucked. When the bus finally came, I got on and sat down, slouching in my seat, praying to myself that nobody would notice me this morning. How they could miss me I'm not quite sure but luckily I seemed to have escaped them for one day. Putting my headphones in and turning my music up to full volume was the only thing I could do for entertainment until the treacherous journey ended. The lessons that day were all horrendous with the exception of biology and pshre which were just about enjoyable.

I sat through the torture that was maths in a daze, not concentrating, purely wanting to escape. Same thing for all the rest of my lessons up until lunch. I spent my lunch sat alone with my headphones in near the teachers car park. Nobody bothered me there. There was usually nobody around.

However, today was different. A tall guy with dark hair and skinny jeans appeared, carrying a few binders and some keys. He was pretty hot but I figured he was a teacher. I didn't want anyone trying to talk to me so I silently stood up and walked further away. He didn't seem to see me as he disappeared again without acknowledging my presence.

The bell signalling the end of lunch rang soon after so I put my iPod away and made my way to pshre, my final lesson of the day.

I took a seat in the middle of the room, near the window so I could sit and watch out of it if I got bored. Someone threw a screwed up ball of paper at me which hit me in the back of the head. I turned around to see a group of guys sniggering at me. Rian, Jason and Clark. They clearly had nothing else better to do than pick on me. I opened up the ball of paper to see the words "ugly little faggot" scrawled on it in red marker pen. I sighed and just left it on the desk in front of me, staring down at the words as they clouded my brain. I knew it was true. I didn't see the point of getting rid of the piece of paper; it's not like it would change the fact that they were right. I was an ugly faggot and everyone knew it. I was still sat staring down at the paper when I heard a murmur ripple around the room. I looked up to see the hot guy with the binders take a seat at the front of the room. So he was my teacher now? Great. That's just perfect. I sighed and returned my attention to the words scrawled on the paper. I zoned out completely so when a hand snatched the piece of paper from in front of me, it scared the life out of me and I jumped.

"what's your name?" my teacher stood looking disapprovingly down at me.

"A-Alex" I stuttered nervously. This was met with bad impressions of me and laughter from Rian, Jason and Clark. My teacher turned his head to look at them and they quietened slightly. He returned his glare to me.

"Alex, what was I just talking about?"

"I..uhh..um..I..um..­..I don't know" I said quietly as my face went red. I looked down then risked a glance at him to see if he looked angry. He did.

"were you even listening? Let's try an easier one, shall we? What's my name?" he sat on the edge of my desk as he spoke, the piece of paper still in his hand.

"I don't know" I whispered. I could feel my eyes welling up as everyone stared at me, sniggering discreetly or downright laughing at me.

"what was that?"

"I don't know" I repeated louder.

"you don't know what you just said? How smart" he retorted, causing the whole class to laugh louder at my expense. It was humiliating and quite degrading. As if I didn't get bullied enough.

"no, that's what I said..I said I don't know your name" I explained as best I could with everyone laughing at me and mimicking my every word.

"well, Alex, I was telling the class what topics were going to study and my name is Jack Barakat. Would anyone like to explain to Alex what the topics are?" he addressed the class again as he stood up and went back to the front. He put the piece of paper on his desk, not even looking at it. Hands shot up and someone recited the topics back to the class.

"least somebody was paying attention" Jack said, his voice thick with sarcasm.

"alright! As a little icebreaker so I can get to know you all and how your minds work, I want you to write down good things about yourselves and bad things about yourselves. You have 3 minutes, go!" he said. I got a pen out and began scribbling down all the bad things about myself. When time was nearly up I had an a4 page nearly full of bad things. I wrote another sub-heading entitled "good things", under which I wrote, "nothing".

He came and collected them all in when time was up, stopping when he got to me, looking down at my lists that were now in his hand. He hadn't stopped at anyone elses table or done more than briefly glance at their work. I swallowed nervously, regretting not holding back on my insecurities. I expected him to make a quick remark but instead, he simply moved on. The lesson continued and about 10 minutes before the end, Jack addressed me sharply.

"Alex, come and see me at the end" I nodded and said ok, probably not loud enough for him to even hear. I didn't bother looking up, he was probably just going to shout at me for not listening at the beginning of the lesson.

Notes

Ok so I write these on my ipod then send them to myself then copy and paste it onto here and my ipod doesn't capitalize the words 'Jack' or "Barakat" or "Rian" and I know its irritating as hell but I'm honestly just too goddamn lazy to scroll through it and do it myself so yeah deal with it.


ANYWAYS, I STARTED A NEW FIC BECAUSE WHY NOT, I HOPE Y'ALL LIKE IT


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